


only of you

by shhhhyoursister



Series: ra!au [1]
Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Canon Trans Character, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Recreational Drug Use, Slow Burn, Smut, also featuring jock!david and skaterboy!matteo, enemies to friends with benefits to lovers??, featuring ra!david and bad student!matteo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2020-12-17 01:41:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 51,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21046205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shhhhyoursister/pseuds/shhhhyoursister
Summary: He left the office about two hours after he had gone in and when he walked back to his room he was extremely surprised to see David sitting outside his door. He got up quickly and stood in front of Matteo, opening his mouth once before closing it just as fast. Just as he started trying to speak, Matteo cut him off.“I don’t want to talk to you. Not today, not ever again. Just fuck off.”He knew that speaking to his RA like that was a bold choice considering he had just gotten in somewhat major trouble, but he didn’t care. David had ratted him out, he could feel it, and no matter how friendly or funny or hot he was, he still fucked Matteo over, potentially for the rest of his college career. Maybe even for the rest of his life.He entered his room, slammed the door in David’s confused face, and collapsed onto his bed.





	1. it keeps my head spinning around

**Author's Note:**

> well friends, here is the au that ive been teasing and hinting at for WEEKS that ive had in my ideas folder and in my brain for MONTHS. its taken me a long time to finish this first part but im SO excited to put it out there and i hope you all really like it!!! (ps: for my non-american college friends i added a guide in the end notes to explain what some of the terms here mean!!! feel free to comment if you have more questions and ill be sure to answer!!!)
> 
> the title of this fic is from "only of you" by green day, and the title for this chapter is from "android" by green day (sensing a theme???) and here are all the rest of the songs used in this part!!!
> 
> "burnout" by green day  
"make me feel" by janelle monae  
"i want to be alone" by green day  
"¿viva la gloria? (little girl)" by green day  
"why do you want him?" by green day

It had been a fucking  _ shitty _ day.

It had been a fucking  _ shitty _ day, at the end of a fucking  _ shitty _ week. It was midterms, and Matteo had had either a test or an essay due every single day of the week, sometimes both, and he had barely been paying enough attention in any of his classes to know what the goddamn  _ subject _ was, let alone to do well on any kind of assessment.

He had woken up that morning with 20 minutes to get ready for class and print his essay, the last fucking thing he needed to hand in that week, and he still took the time to roll two joints to be ready for him when he got back from his classes. Jonas had rolled his eyes and ruffled his hair as he left, but made no comment about the fact that Matteo had been smoking that amount or more almost everyday. It wasn’t helping his schoolwork, but it at least slightly helped the numbness he had been feeling since his second year started.

If Matteo was being honest, it had started before that. It had started  _ long _ before that even, as far back as his memory could really go. Those days (and weeks) where he just… didn’t feel. Or felt  _ too much _ . Or felt so little that he couldn’t even tell if he was a person anymore. In the minimal research he had done, the solution that popped up the most (besides things like medication and therapy, and he ws absolutely fucking  _ not _ going to go there) seemed to be weed. Maybe it hadn’t been the most scientific or accurate research, but it stuck in his head, so once he arrived at the small liberal arts college (the only place that had accepted him, luckily the place Jonas was also going) and found a dealer, it became his way to escape. Therapy and all that bullshit hadn’t worked for his mom, so why would it work for him?

He was riding his skateboard back from his last class, music blasting in his ears to try and drown out the echoes of what his professor had said when he handed his paper in after getting to class 15 minutes late. 

_ “You know, Mr. Florenzi, this attitude towards your schoolwork isn’t going to get you very far. If you’re like this in every class, I can almost guarantee you won’t even graduate.” _

He grimaced and kicked off the ground again, quickly gliding past other students and weaving around a few who were too stupid to pay attention to their surroundings. He saw Abdi, a friend he had made through some of his general education classes, and returned the wave sent in his direction before hopping off his board at the stairs to his building. The song changed as he started climbing the three flights to his floor and he snorted when he tuned in to the lyrics.

_ I declare I don't care no more _

_ I'm burning up and out and _

_ Growing bored _

_ In my smoked out boring room _

He reached his room, but froze when he heard multiple voices coming from inside. None of them were Jonas, Matteo knew he was in class until much later, and he usually texted to say if he got out earlier. The only other people who were ever in their room were Abdi and his roommate Carlos, and they wouldn’t be there if Jonas wasn’t.

“What the  _ fuck _ ?” He said quietly to himself as he began panicking, and he fumbled to take his phone out of his pocket to text Jonas. At that second, his door opened, and the RD of his building stepped out, followed by a police officer. He ripped his earbuds out as they noticed him and he opened his mouth to say something, but before he could the RD held a hand up. 

“Put your stuff down, Matteo, and come to my office please. We have a few things to discuss,” he said, tight-lipped and with an eyebrow raised. Matteo’s mouth dropped open as the RD turned to start walking down the hall, the cops following close behind. Before they all turned down the next hallway, Matteo noticed that in the officer’s hands were the two joints he had rolled that morning.

“Fuck. Oh  _ fuck _ .” He felt the tears welling up in his eyes as he turned to get into his room but before he could scan his ID card the door opened and David stepped out.

David had been a really good RA, at first. He was nice, funny, friendly, always up to chat or fix a problem if something came up. When the lights went out in Jonas and Matteo’s room one day, David even pulled himself away from a timed online test he was taking to try and solve the issue. While Matteo didn’t seek him out, would never initiate the conversation, anytime he got to talk to David the dark fog that usually filled his head would lift a little, replaced with bright eyes and a beaming, toothy grin. 

When he saw David around the halls, Matteo would just offer a small smile, only talking when David would start a conversation. He never responded much, was too worried about the obvious flush that would appear on his cheeks and how much he would stutter if he tried to speak. David never seemed to mind. He would carry the one-sided conversation for as long as was polite and then would jog away with a smile and a wave. 

Matteo had realized he was gay the summer before college started, and had told Jonas, his childhood best friend and roommate, the day they moved in. Matteo knew that he still had a lot to learn about his own community, a fact that he was reminded of during the first meeting where the RD went over the rules of the building. He and all of the RAs had introduced themselves with their pronouns, a concept that at first made Matteo tilt his head in confusion. 

David was actually the person who cleared that up, just to add to the list of ways he had helped Matteo in the short time he had been his RA. The programs David was required to put on for the residence hall were always focused on advocacy or art, usually in regards to the queer community. Matteo had even gone to one, but was too scared to do much more than sit in the back of the lounge away from all of the other residents and watch in awe as David went over terms and vocabulary that he had never heard before. Something about the way he spoke was mesmerizing and it didn’t help that David was  _ literally _ the hottest person Matteo had ever met. 

Matteo didn’t smile this time when he saw David. He knew he looked like a mess, hyperventilating and tears slowly running down his cheeks, so he wasn’t surprised to see the increasing look of concern on David’s face. He angrily wiped the tears away but his feet stayed frozen, and David took a few steps forward. He started reaching a hand up, and opened his mouth and quietly said, “Matteo, I-”

Matteo unfroze the second David started speaking and he shoved past him into the room, angrily throwing his bag down and letting his board clatter to the floor. He ran a hand roughly through his hair and took in a deep breath before turning to go to the RD’s office. When he stepped outside, David was still waiting there, an unreadable look on his face.

“Matteo-”

“Leave me the fuck alone.” He said through gritted teeth and shoved past him again, ignoring the burn on his skin where his shoulder bumped into David’s. He stomped down the stairs, a mixture of rage and panic overtaking the numbness he had been feeling. He didn’t know which he preferred.

He got to the office and stood outside for a moment before peeking in, and saw the RD alone at his desk. He didn’t even remember his name, just knew him as the weird tall guy with long brown hair who lived in an apartment in the basement and was in charge of the residence hall. 

“Matteo, come in please.”

Matteo gulped before entering the office, closing the door behind him when he was asked to. He took a seat in one of the empty chairs and wrapped his arms around himself, his fingernails digging into the skin on his arms.

“So, as I’m sure you’ve figured out, we found marijuana in your room. I had to call the police according to our campus’ policy, and they searched your room and have removed everything they deemed fit to remove, including any smoking apparatuses and all actual marijuana.”

Matteo’s breathing picked up again and he closed his eyes for a moment, only blinking them open again when the RD continued.

“Now, there are a few different things that need to be done because of this, but before I get to that, I want you to tell me if you have any information that you would like me to know before going further with your punishment.”

Matteo froze for a moment and his mouth dropped open before closing again, and he finally let out a, “Wh- what?”

“Well, we know that sometimes students turn to drug use when they are facing difficulties in their life. Be that family related, mental health, difficulty adjusting. We take that into consideration when judging how to deal with the situation. Is there anything you’d like to talk to me about?”

Matteo’s mind started racing and he let his eyes drift around the room so he could process what he was being told. They focused again on a little figure of a reindeer on the desk, and he stared at it as he started speaking.

“Well… things have been kind of hard lately.”

As he spoke, his words getting faster and faster as he essentially spilled his guts out to the RD, he realized just how much he had been holding inside his head. He spoke for what felt like hours, unable to stop, and by the time he was done talking his hands were clenched tightly in his hair and he had scratch marks up and down his arms. It was quiet once he finally finished and he collapsed back into the chair. He scrubbed his hand over his face to get rid of the tears that had fallen.

“Hm,” the RD said, leaning back in his chair, “it seems like you have a lot going on. You know, Matteo, in times like this, it is most helpful to turn to people, not drugs. I know it’s easier sometimes to just ignore everything and bottle stuff up, but if you talk to the people in your life, you may find that you won’t need to numb the pain.”

Matteo nodded slowly and sniffled. He felt his phone start buzzing with a call, but he didn’t move to take it out of his pocket. It was probably Jonas anyway, calling to ask about the frantic text Matteo had sent him before everything went down.

“If you would like, I can refer you to the Psychological Counseling Clinic on campus. They can give you a therapist there, or help you find one nearby.”

Matteo’s head jolted up at that and in the strongest voice he was capable of he said, “I don’t want a therapist.”

“Have you ever gone to one?”

“No, but my mom has, and now she’s in a hospital. They don’t work, not for us at least.”

The RD suddenly turned and clicked the mouse for his computer a few times, typing in some quick words before Matteo heard the printer behind him start up. He was handed a sheet of paper that had the clinic’s information on it and the RD leaned back in his chair again.

“Matteo,” he started in a calmer voice, “I am trying to help you out here. The school may be more willing to let you off a little easier if you agree to see a therapist. If you are telling the truth and you were using the marijuana for your mental health, we might be able to make some kind of deal.”

Matteo thought for a moment before nodding again. He sat there and let the RD sign him up for an appointment with a therapist on campus. And then he sat and listened to the rest of the spiel about the punishments he would probably be facing.

He left the office about two hours after he had gone in and when he walked back to his room he was extremely surprised to see David sitting outside his door. He got up quickly and stood in front of Matteo, opening his mouth once before closing it just as fast. Just as he started trying to speak, Matteo cut him off.

“I don’t want to talk to you. Not today, not ever again. Just fuck off.”

He knew that speaking to his RA like that was a bold choice considering he had just gotten in somewhat major trouble, but he didn’t care. David had ratted him out, he could  _ feel _ it, and no matter how friendly or funny or  _ hot _ he was, he still fucked Matteo over, potentially for the rest of his college career. Maybe even for the rest of his life.

He entered his room, slammed the door in David’s confused face, and collapsed onto his bed. 

*****

Obviously, Matteo knew he couldn’t avoid talking to David forever. While the disciplinary side of the situation was handled relatively easily after Matteo agreed to start seeing a therapist through the school, the shame and fear that he had felt that day stuck with him, especially anytime he had to be around David. Which was pretty often considering he was Matteo’s RA, and there were a variety of times throughout the rest of that year when they needed to interact.

One night a couple of weeks after he had gotten in trouble, Matteo was lying in bed wishing for the comfort of a joint in his hand, Jonas on his own bed, alternating between plucking some strings on his guitar and taking bites out of the burger he had gotten himself for dinner. Matteo had forgotten about dinner, tended to do that unless someone reminded him. Jonas had gotten up to throw out the wrapper, but he groaned when he stopped at the garbage.

“Luigi, dude, I asked you to take this down to the garbage room yesterday. Can you go now? And go to the RA Office and ask for more garbage bags? The room is starting to stink.”

Matteo hadn’t noticed the odor in the room before Jonas had pointed it out, but he sniffed the air and wrinkled his nose at the smell.

“Shit, yeah. Why are we so fucking gross?”

“I don’t know man, maybe we should make a cleaning schedule or something.”

Matteo got up, stretched, and started to walk to the door to their room. He stopped when he registered what Jonas said and turned around to say, “Nah, dude, too much effort.”

Jonas’s laugh followed him out of the room as he walked down the hall, opting to take the elevator instead of the stairs. Their room was only on the third floor but Matteo was lazy and he had actually gone to all of his classes that day, so he felt he deserved it. He felt he deserved even  _ more _ than that and made a mental note to stop at the vending machine to get himself candy before going back to his room. 

The elevator opened and he walked out, quickly entering the room to his right and throwing the bag in his hands into one of the large garbage bins set up around the room. He left and was about to round the corner to get to the RA office when he heard music, and a loud laugh that he  _ knew _ belonged to David. He huffed out through his nose, kicking himself for not checking the obnoxious (but really well decorated) board outside of his room to see who was on duty. He took a moment to prepare himself before venturing forward, an apathetic look on his face.

He approached the office and saw David and one of the other RAs, Sam, sitting at the desk that faced the large open window. There was a speaker on the desk playing some song that Matteo didn’t know, and they were both laughing and bopping their heads to the beat.

_ It's like I'm powerful with a little bit of tender _

_ An emotional, sexual bender _

_ Mess me up, yeah, but no one does it better _

_ There's nothin' better _

_ That's just the way you make me feel _

“Man, this song is so good.”

“I’d argue that all of Janelle Monae’s songs are good.”

“Did I say that they aren’t? She’s a genius, dude.”

They both looked up when Matteo reached the door, and he saw the grin that had been on David’s face deflate a little before perking up again.

“Hey, Matteo!” He said with a little too much enthusiasm, and Matteo glanced at him out of the corner of his eye.

“Uh, hi,” he said quietly with a tight voice, before he turned to Sam and asked, “Can I have some garbage bags?”

“Yeah, of course!” She reached down and started digging through a drawer under the desk, and when she handed the bags over asked, “Are you coming to our program tomorrow night?”

He tilted his head to the side before asking, “Program?”

“Yeah, it’s about different forms of art and how we can use them to change the world! We’re going to have music and snacks, and we’re going to bring out some art supplies from the office and let people draw and paint on these huge rolls of paper David found!”

At the mention of his name Matteo’s eyes darted to David again and saw him staring down at his computer in front of him, a small frown on his face. Just before Matteo was going to turn away, David’s eyes shot up to his, and they held eye contact for a moment before Sam said, “You should totally come! Right, David?”

David turned to look at Sam quickly, letting out a quiet, “Uh,” before blinking and morphing his face into something more friendly, and saying, “yeah, for sure. It’s going to be really fun! Sam is a master DJ, the playlist she’s making is awesome.”

“Um, I don’t know,” Matteo muttered, looking down at the floor and scratching at the back of his neck, “I think I’m busy.”

“Oh, well, that’s okay! You can come to the next one!” Sam said, pushing her blue braids over her shoulder and laughing when they whacked into David. 

“Uh, yeah. I guess. I’m gonna- um. Goodnight.” Matteo turned quickly and left, not letting himself look at David as he walked quickly to the elevator. He slumped against the wall once the doors closed and shut his eyes, letting out a long breath through his nose.

Being around David made Matteo’s skin feel too tight. It hadn’t felt like that before he got caught, when a casual smile or greeting from David made his heart pound and his hands sweat a little. He thought he might’ve even had a bit of a  _ crush _ before all of the shit went down. Whatever little bit of attraction might have remained he squashed down by reminding himself that if not for his own messed up brain, David could have gotten him kicked out of school. 

He walked back to his room, glaring as he passed the bulletin board across from his door. David had made it from scratch, so of  _ course _ it was extremely well done. There was a large turntable made out of paper, the records covered in black glitter and all of the knobs and buttons different bright colors. Above it were two torsos cut out of bright construction paper, with arms that extended down and connected to the records, put together in a way where one could walk up and move them, and the records would turn as you twisted the arms around. Right where the heads would be were two laminated pictures, one of David’s face and one of Sam’s, both with large grins. On top of the whole thing in metallic paint was written  _ WHO’S JAMMIN’ TONIGHT? _

Matteo resisted the childish urge to flick his middle finger up at the board, and he slammed the door to his room open. Jonas looked up in surprise as Matteo threw the garbage bags at him.

“For you. ‘Cause you’re garbage.”

Jonas snorted and threw them back and Matteo put a new one in the trash bin next to his desk. He flopped onto his bed and buried his face in the pillow before grabbing his headphones and pressing play on whatever song he had been listening to before. 

_ Please don't think I'm crazy _

_ I don't want you to understand _

_ My mind is growing hazy _

_ To heck with your helping hand _

_ Why don't you just leave me alone? _

_ This conflict is my own _

_ Keep your sources away from me _

_ That's all _

As Matteo breathed into his pillows, letting the loud music swirl around his head to chase away the fog, he had a sudden thought.

_ Oh, shit. I didn’t even get my fucking candy. _

*****

It seemed like after that Matteo started seeing David everywhere. He would be slouched in a computer at the library frantically printing something for his class and David would walk by with Sam or another one of his RA friends and would lift the corner of his mouth in Matteo’s direction. He’d be walking out of one of the classroom buildings as Matteo was skating outside with the Jonas, Carlos, and Abdi, a book in his hand as opposed to a cigarette in Matteo’s. They would lock eyes in the dining hall as Matteo was scooping french fries onto his plate, and David would wave with an apple tight in his grasp.

Matteo thought that it had to be the universe pulling some kind of elaborate, never ending prank on him. It was easy to hate David in his mind, his grudge keeping any possible positive feelings far out of reach. He could combat any good thoughts with a quick mental reminder of  _ don’t forget, he’s a fucking snitch _ , and continue with his day.

It was much harder when he could see him, though. It was hard to think about David being a snitch or an asshole or a dick or any of the other mean words Matteo could come up with when David would smile at him in the hallway between classes or wave across the quad, making Matteo fall off his skateboard to the delighted laughs of the boys. 

It was hard when Matteo was strolling down the different hallways of his residence hall to stave off the cravings for weed, and he would see David in a study room, and want nothing more than to go in and start screaming. Not just because David took away his only coping mechanism, but because the light from the computer was reflecting off of David’s eyes and making them shine, and Matteo wanted nothing more than to stare into them and listen to David’s smooth voice tell him that everything would be okay. 

It also didn’t help that Jonas was starting to realize that something was going on. He had always had the extremely annoying ability to read Matteo like a book, and whenever they were together when David passed by, Jonas would shoot him a  _ look _ . He couldn’t even tell what the  _ look _ was supposed to mean, but he knew that it was trouble. 

They got into an argument one night after Jonas had caught him flat-out glaring at David from across the lobby as they were coming in, David smiling and giving some resident directions to the Student Union Building.

“Dude, I get that you’re annoyed at him but you need to fucking chill. He was just doing his job, and it all ended up fine anyway. He’s such a cool dude and I know you had a crush on him before you got caught.”

Matteo had trained his glare on Jonas then, and whispered harshly, “I didn’t have a fucking crush on him.”

Jonas had scoffed and went, “Yeah, okay,” in a voice that made Matteo’s blood boil, and he clenched his fists as they got into the elevator.

“I fucking didn’t! He’s so… fake, nobody can be that happy all the time. He’s either fake or insane.”

“He’s a really cool guy, Matteo. You just need to get your head out of your ass long enough to realize that you’re into him.” Jonas had rolled his eyes as he said it, and Matteo grit his teeth as they stepped out of the elevator.

They walked into the room and Matteo fucking  _ knew _ it was a low blow, a compltely false low blow, but he didn’t stop himself from saying, “You’re only saying that ‘cause I’m gay.”

Jonas had turned around with an almost  _ hurt _ look on his face and said, “Dude, of course not. You know me better than that.”

“Then why do you keep saying it, huh? Do you think I have a crush on Carlos, too? Abdi?  _ You _ ?” He spat the last word out with a harsh laugh, and Jonas sank down on his bed looking like Matteo had kicked his dog.

“Matteo--”

“No, fuck this. Fuck you. I need some air.” He grabbed his board and stormed out of the room, and of fucking  _ course _ David was coming up as he reached the door to the stairwell. He wrenched the door open and David flinched and looked up at him, concern growing on his face when he saw Matteo. 

“Matteo? Is everything--?”

“I’m fine, leave me the  _ fuck _ alone.”

He stomped down the stairs until he reached the exit and he shoved that door open too, taking in harsh breaths of the cold air. 

He rode his skateboard around for an hour, blasting his music loud enough to hurt a little, but it was making it easier for him to breathe. 

_ Little one, little one, the sky is falling _

_ Your lifeboat of deception is now sailing _

_ In the wake all the way no rhyme or reason _

_ Your bloodshot eyes will show your heart of treason _

_ Little girl, little girl, you dirty liar _

_ You're just a junkie preaching to the choir _

Once his breathing had slowed and the urge to scream out all his frustrations had faded, he realized just how shitty he had been to Jonas, one of the only people in his life that cared enough to deal with all of this bullshit. He cursed to himself before kicking off in the direction of Jonas’s favorite food place and bought him his favorite much-too-expensive meal.

He walked back into their room with his head hung low and his hand outstretched, offering the food with a quiet, “I’m sorry, I’m a fucking asshole.”

  
Jonas took the food and took a few bites, chewing while staring Matteo down. He stood there and shuffled his feet as Jonas squinted at him, and after a few moments of that Jonas said in a calm voice, “You forgot the cheese.”

“Oh, fuck dude. I’m sorry. I wasn’t really thinking straight.”

Jonas took another bite before putting the container down and pulling Matteo into a sudden hug. Matteo’s eyes popped open before he relaxed into it, and Jonas squeezed him tighter before letting go and ruffling his hair. 

“It’s okay, man. You are an asshole though.”

They both laughed and Jonas didn’t bring David up again for the rest of the semester. They left for the summer, thankfully choosing to move to a different residence hall that was closer to the classrooms and didn’t have David in it for the next year. Matteo would be able to get to all of his classes in five minutes on his board and could start fresh with a new building, a new year, and a few less distractions.

*****

After a tense summer of living with his father (who had to move back home when Matteo’s mom went into the hospital, a situation that he somehow found a way to blame on Matteo), Matteo was ready to move back on campus. The residence hall that him and Jonas had chosen to move to was way nicer, had air conditioning and a cafe right in the lobby. 

There was also no David to complicate Matteo’s life even more than it already was. His attitude towards him had mellowed out a little over the summer, not that he was planning on trying to be the guy’s best friend. He just didn’t get the same confusing combination of angry and flushed when he thought about him and was relieved that  _ that _ whole situation was over.

He and Jonas had also discovered a miracle product over the summer, something that was going to make their lives a hell of a lot easier: oil pens. They could use it in their room, blow the smoke out the window, and there was no lingering smell of weed or hazy smoke that could set off fire alarms or get them caught. They also got very good at hiding it and remembering to put every single piece away when they were done. 

They were using it in Carlos and Abdi’s room late on a Friday night early in the semester when Matteo left in search of a vending machine. He was a little floaty, and it took him a few good minutes of wandering before he realized that he was totally lost. He saw water fountain at the end of the hall and figured he could use a drink, and while he was bent over sipping from the stream, the door right next to him opened.

With the way the door swung, he couldn’t see the people who were standing there, but he could hear a girl quietly giggling and whispering in a voice that was obviously meant to be private. He rolled his eyes when he heard the sound of people kissing, and then a whispered, “Good bye.”

The girl walked past the door into his view, but he watched as a dark hand slipped around her waist and tugged her back in, and she shrieked with laughter. Just as Matteo took out his phone to send a desperate  _ help im lost _ text to Carlos, he heard the girl giggle, “I  _ really _ have to leave, David.”

Matteo froze with his phone in his hand as the girl walked out from behind the door and passed him, and he could see a (quite frankly) ridiculous amount of hickies on her neck, and a dark blush on her cheeks. He was so busy staring after her that he missed a head poking around the side of the door until he heard a quiet, “Matteo?”

His head snapped back to see David leaning against the door, a small smile on his face. His hair was messy and his cheeks flushed, and Matteo couldn’t help but let his eyes wander down to his neck where there were a few dark red marks. His mouth dropped open in shock, and David’s smile grew into something more of a smirk as he said, “What are you doing over here?”

“Um,” Matteo said, and he felt awful for it but his eyes drifted to look down at David’s body, taking in the loose tank top he was wearing and the shorts that were short enough to show some of his thighs, “my friend lives in this building. I was, uh. Trying to find the vending machine.”

He looked back up to see David tilting his head to the side, an eyebrow raised. There was no way David thought he was sober, and some of the panic from the previous year started creeping back into his system. His heart started pounding a little faster, but he was surprised when David chuckled and shook his head.

“No vending machines here. Just me.”

“Yeah. You. Um.” Matteo felt the back of his neck burning and he scoffed and turned to the side, his heart still pounding despite the anxiety being gone.

“If you take those stairs and go all the way to the basement, the vending machines will be on your left.” Matteo turned back and noticed that David’s eyes took a while to look back into his, trailing over his body slowly. When they met again Matteo blushed.

“Okay. Thanks. Uh. I’m- I’m going to go down there now, then.”

“Okay, enjoy your night, Matteo,” David said with a final grin, starting to close his door before he poked his head around again and said, “and your snacks.”

Matteo didn’t respond as the door clicked shut, and he stood there for a minute wondering what the  _ fuck _ had just happened. His phone started buzzing in his pocket and he grabbed it, answering the call without checking who it was.

“Dude, where the fuck are you? You left like 10 minutes ago, it doesn’t take that long to get snacks.” Jonas was laughing into the phone, and Matteo had to take a deep breath before answering.

“Sorry, I, uh. Got distracted. I’ll be back in a few.” He hung up and put his phone back in his pocket and turned in the direction David had told him. He walked down the stairs still reeling from his interaction.

_ Was he checking me out? Who was that girl? Why does something about him seem different? What the fuck just happened? _ All of those thoughts were swimming around in his mind as he chose and paid for the snacks, and they continued as he took the elevator back up to the floor he thought Abdi and Carlos lived on. He managed to make it to his destination that time, and the boys only made fun of him a little for how late he was, and thankfully none of them questioned why his face, neck, and the tips of his ears were bright red. 

It became a little bit of a  _ thing _ after that. Anytime Matteo was hanging out with Carlos and Abdi in their room he happened to run into David, and when it was late at night more often than not he ran into David and  _ someone else _ . 

He had realized after that first encounter that David was the RA for the other hallway on the same floor that Abdi and Carlos lived on, he had just been too high to remember if he had gone up or down any stairs. His room also happened to be next to the only water fountain on that floor, and since they were usually smoking in Carlos and Abdi’s room, he would take frequent trips there.

One night a couple of weeks after their awkward interaction, Matteo was on his way to fill up a water bottle for him and Jonas to share, as the new strain Abdi had gotten was making their mouths insanely dry. He started turning the corner to get to the water fountain, but stopped when he heard loud giggling and then a quiet, “Shut up, it’s late!”

He pressed his back against the wall when he realized it was  _ David’s _ voice, and he quickly peeked around to see David and a boy. The other boy was pinned against the door, blocked in by David’s arms next to his waist. David was saying something into the boy’s ear that Matteo couldn’t make out before he pulled away with a smirk, and the other boy smacked his arm and fiercely whispered, “Wait until we’re in the room, holy shit.”

Matteo watched as David unlocked the door and pulled it open, gently shoving the other boy in before closing it with a loud  _ click _ . Matteo didn’t realize that he hadn’t taken a breath the entire time he was watching them, and he sucked one in through his teeth quickly before shaking his head and filling up the water bottle. He made his way back to the boys and grabbed the pen out of Abdi’s mouth, ignoring his protests. He took two hits in rapid succession before collapsing onto the cleanest looking bed and closing his eyes, wondering if it would be rude to pull out his headphones and blast music in his ears to stop his thoughts from swirling.

Matteo didn’t like how he felt when he saw David with other people. The first time had been more confusing than anything, Matteo too high to think about what happened after he got back to the boys and started wrestling with Carlos. The second time… the second time felt  _ bad _ . And he didn’t even know  _ why _ really.

He knew what Jonas would say. Jonas would snort and just claim  _ again _ that Matteo was crushing hard on David, had been since the second he had laid eyes on him, and seeing him hooking up with other people was making Matteo  _ jealous _ . And Matteo would smack him for saying that because he really and truly did NOT have a crush on David Schreibner. 

He could still acknowledge that David was hot, yeah. The hottest guy on campus, probably. He could understand why David was so sought after. He would even admit that David was funny, and kind, and had been cool before everything went down the year before. Matteo knew that he was popular, and had heard his name being said in hallways between classes or while getting food, especially after David was selected as a forward for the school’s surprisingly good soccer team. 

But Matteo didn’t care about any of that. He might not have had the same intense rage he felt towards David the last year, but it didn’t mean he  _ liked _ the guy. He still didn’t wave when David would smile across a room at him, would turn if he saw him approaching. One day he was in the dining hall and he saw David sitting near the entrance after what must have been a soccer practice, wearing a shirt with his last name across the back, sweaty and his hair a mess, and Matteo turned around and left before getting any food. He wouldn’t do that if he  _ liked _ David, especially not if he had a crush on him. 

It was frustrating to him, then, that he didn’t know why he felt so bad when he would see someone else leaving David’s room, their neck covered in hickies and their face flushed as he watched them leave. He was so conflicted over it all that he accidentally mentioned it to Jonas one day after class, him sitting on his skateboard and Jonas skating around him in slow circles. He was watching David talk to one of the RA’s that Matteo thought was named Amira, and he was focused on the hickies that he could see on David’s neck and on his shoulder under the strap of his tank top.

“David fucks a lot of people,” he said it before thinking, and Jonas turned to him with a shocked face before looking up at David, and then back to Matteo.

“Um, I guess? Why’d you feel the need to bring that up?”

“I don’t know, man. It’s just weird, I guess. Never mind.” Matteo slid off his board so he was lying on the ground, closing his eyes against the sun.

“Do you have a problem with that? I know you have a problem with  _ him _ , but I didn’t think you were the type to slut-shame.”

“Slut-shame? Are you serious? I was just making a comment, calm down.”

“Stupid comment. I don’t get why it’s a big deal to you. Lots of people sleep around here, it’s a liberal arts college.” 

“It isn’t a big deal to me, dude, I just said something dumb. Let’s move on.”

Matteo lifted his head and opened his eyes when Jonas didn’t respond. He was staring over at David and Amira, and when David glanced over for a minute, he waved enthusiastically. David grinned and waved back, and then spotted Matteo. His grin dropped a little but he still held up a finger to Amira and started walking in Jonas and Matteo’s direction.

“Oh fuck, I just remembered I have a paper due tonight. I’ll see you in the room, dude.” Matteo hopped up and onto his board and kicked off, swerving dangerously around a few girls that gave him dirty looks, which he ignored along with the, “Asshole!” that Jonas yelled after he rode off. 

That became a bit of a  _ thing _ too. Talking about David. Matteo didn’t like it, and he definitely wasn’t the one who started it. It was all Carlos’ fault, because he just  _ had _ to try out for the soccer team when they held tryouts, and he just  _ had _ to make the team, and sent all of the boys a Snapchat of him holding up his #6 jersey with a big, stupid grin on his face. Matteo wanted to punch him. 

They would be hanging out in Jonas and Matteo’s room studying (really all just playing on their computers and fucking around with their notes open) and Carlos would start going off about a goal David scored during their last practice, and Jonas would start asking questions about it and Abdi would encourage it, and since they all knew David of  _ course _ his name would come up frequently. Matteo would roll his eyes and go on his phone, trying to pretend like he wasn’t listening to the, “Oh he’s so  _ fast _ ,” and the “oh and he can do so many push ups dude, it’s crazy!” and the “yeah dude, he’s always covered in hickies but he deserves it.”

Matteo didn’t give a fuck about any of it. It only made him angry because they talked about it  _ so often _ , and Matteo was tired of hearing about how amazing David was. 

He started hearing it around other places, too. He decided to go with Jonas to a meeting for some gay club on his campus, and the two people in front of him were  _ comparing notes _ from their nights with David. Matteo’s jaw dropped when he heard them each describing their experiences, and the fact that they were doing so casually and completely out in the open. He leaned as far back in his chair as he could and shoved one earbud in his ear, turning the music all the way up. 

He heard it in the library once, too. He was wandering through the stacks, looking for a textbook for one of his classes, when he heard voices coming from the next aisle over. Matteo quickly realized that it was two guys on David’s soccer team, and they were talking about him. He stopped where he was and grabbed a random book off the shelf, flipping through it as he bit his lip and listened in on the conversation. 

“Yeah dude, did you see his back? It was just covered in scratches and shit.”

“Yeah, and he was covered in hickies too.”

“Bro, he’s always covered in hickies. He’s a player, man, I don’t know how he has time for it all.”

“I know dude, and he’s cool too. You’d think getting that much ass would make you an asshole.”

Matteo listened to them both laugh before snapping the book shut and hurrying out of the aisle. He juggled his board in one hand as he shoved his earbuds in his ears and put his hood up over his head, trying to hide his bright red face from the view of anyone who would care enough to look. He slammed his board on the ground and got on, kicking off the ground and almost running over a group of girls who yelled after him. He turned his music all the way up and skated to his next class and got there 15 minutes early, and his professor smiled at him from the podium. He knew she’d be less happy when she saw he didn’t have the book that he had been promising to order for weeks, but he smiled back anyway and sat to let his racing heart calm down. The music was still playing in his ears, and he scoffed at the lyrics.

_ You've been feeling bad for so long _

_ You wonder if it's right or wrong _

_ Why do you want him? _

_ Why do you want him? _

He ripped the earbuds out as if his playlist playing on shuffle chose that song specifically, and shoved his phone in his backpack. He folded his arms on the desk in front of him, and dropped his head onto them, letting out a deep sigh. 

It was strange just how  _ often _ he heard him spoken about, though. His name continued to be whispered around Pride Club meetings, shouted in Carlos and Abdi’s room, and praised by professors. One day he was even walking in the Student Union Building and saw a poster with David’s bright grin on it, surrounded by other bright grins, that said  _ Apply to be an RA, today! _ He had blinked at it for a moment before shaking his head and turning in the other direction. 

The more that David’s name was mentioned around him, the harder it became to get the thoughts out of Matteo’s head. He already knew David was attractive, already knew he was nice, and already knew that he hooked up with people.

He hated it, but he couldn’t help himself from becoming a little  _ curious _ . He knew that his weird (quickly diminishing) grudge with David was dumb, but it was the only reason for his hyperfocus on all things David Schreibner he was willing to let himself believe.

It all came to a head one night when near the end of Matteo’s junior year when, like usual, he was high and getting water at the fountain next to David’s room. He had almost come to expect that the door would open and someone would come out covered in hickies and giggling, and he would have to wait awkwardly as David kissed them and sent them off. Except that night, the door opened and only David stepped out. It was really late, which was probably why David was shirtless, wearing only light gray cotton shorts and flip flops. He closed the door behind him before looking up and startling when he saw Matteo.

“Oh shit, I didn’t think anyone would be out here.”

Matteo was silent, and without really even meaning to he let his eyes drop down to look at David’s torso, and his face heated up when he saw David’s toned stomach, his eyes moving up to his chest where there were two scars running along the dark skin. He stared at David’s collarbones for a fraction too long (trying not to focus on the hickey on the left one) before trailing up to his shoulders, his neck, and then finally back to David’s face, which had an expression on it that Matteo couldn’t figure out.

He looked a little uncomfortable but there was a heat in his eyes that Matteo didn’t miss, and David tilted his head and raised his eyebrows before asking, “Is there a problem?”

Matteo didn’t know what he meant until he realized that David probably took the staring at his chest in the wrong way, and Matteo quickly responded, “No! No, no problem. At all.” His eyes glanced back down before looking up again, and the look was gone. David continued staring at Matteo in silence, his dark eyes boring into Matteo’s, making him feel just as exposed as David probably felt.

“Why… actually, never mind.” David spoke suddenly before walking towards Matteo. His eyes widened and he didn’t move, not even when David was less than a foot away from him and still staring at him, and Matteo flicked his tongue out to lick his lips.

“Can I get some water?” David asked, raising an eyebrow, and Matteo stumbled back a few steps. He watched the muscles in David’s back shift as he bent over to sip from the fountain, and kept his gaze on him as David stood up again and wiped the back of his hand across his mouth.

“Were you- were you going to ask me something?” Matteo asked in a quiet voice, surprising both himself and David. He clamped his lips shut after speaking and David stared at him for another second before scoffing and opening his door.

  
“Nothing important. Have a good night, Matteo.” He walked forward into his room and shut the door behind him, Matteo catching a quick glimpse in and only seeing a huge bed bathed in a soft blue light.

“You too.” He whispered as the door closed, before walking around the corner into Carlos and Abdi’s hallway and leaning against the wall, sliding down until he was sitting on the floor with his head in his hands. 

It was only after that night that he was able to admit to himself that it was a crush. And definitely,  _ definitely _ , had been a crush for a long time, and he was stupid for trying to deny it. Jonas was right, Abdi and Carlos were right,  _ everyone _ was right, except Matteo. He felt like a fucking fool.

He knew that it was too late to do anything about it too, with finals coming up. He was actually putting an effort in and he was sure David was too. That was even on the off chance that David had any kind of feelings for Matteo, which would be surprising considering the complete lack of any positive attention from the boy for almost 3 entire semesters. Matteo had really fucked himself over.

He only saw David one more time before the year ended, which was surprising considering how often Matteo was with Abdi and Carlos. He was walking down a hallway in one of his class buildings, rushing so he wouldn’t be late to his last final. He was rounded the corner and David happened to be coming from the other direction. They locked eyes for a moment, and David smiled when he saw that Matteo didn’t turn from his gaze. And for the first time in over a year, Matteo smiled back.


	2. hey there lookin' at me, tell me what do you see?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me for two years?” David asked, his smirk growing as a blush spread onto Matteo’s cheeks and up to his ears. _
> 
> _“Um,” he said, tugging on his sweater a little because the room seemed to get a little bit warmer, “it wasn’t as intentional as you’re making it sound.”_
> 
> _Matteo watched David’s eyes drift down to his sweater and saw his eyebrows raise a little as he looked up again to say, “Right.”_
> 
> _Matteo laughed a little and David took a small step forward, now less than a foot from Matteo. He didn’t know what to do with David so close, so he was glad when David spoke._
> 
> _“Intentional or not,” he started, his voice a little deeper in a way that made a chill run down Matteo’s spine, “do you think you’d be willing to stop?”_
> 
> _Matteo had been too busy staring into David’s eyes and had only caught the end of his question, so he asked in a quiet voice, “Stop what?”_
> 
> _“Avoiding me?”___

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi friends!!!! after days and days of being so fuckin motivated to write this fic ive completed 3 chapters that add up to around 33k words, which is a fucking WILD number, especially considering that there are 2 chapters left to write!!!!!!! i hope you guys enjoy this chapter, and again idk exactly when the next one will be going up but im hoping to start working on ch4 some point this week (it is my birthday week though so idk what ill get done)!!!!!!! hope yall enjoy ch2!!!!!
> 
> again the title of the fic comes from the song "only of you" by green day, and the chapter title comes from "at the library" also by green day whoops!!! and here are the rest of the songs used in this chapter!!!!
> 
> "homecoming" by green day  
"the grouch" by green day  
"boys" by lizzo  
"animal" by neon trees  
"cigarettes and valentines" by green day  
"1,000 hours" by green day

It had been a  _ shitty _ fucking summer.

Matteo had spent the entire time either locked in his room to avoid his father or at Jonas’ house, spending the night to get a respite from his own place. At one point he managed to stay for about a week straight before his dad noticed and demanded him home in angry Italian over the phone that Jonas tried not to listen to. 

Matteo had been hoping to enjoy his last summer before his last year of college. He had thought that finally declaring his major (computer science) and ensuring that he would actually be graduating at the end of the year would clear his mind and allow him to enjoy the sun, his friends, maybe even go away for a weekend. 

Of course, he had forgotten about living with his father. It was difficult living in a home with someone who obviously didn’t want to be there and who seemed to have an issue with every fucking thing Matteo tried to do. He would dust the entire house and his father would find the one spot he managed to miss, he would cook something nice for dinner and his father would take a bite before silently adding salt with a disappointed look on his face.

Matteo passed the time alone sucking on his pen and playing video games, sometimes leaving to grab food. That was one perk of living with his dad again; at least there was food in the fridge. Yeah he was living in an environment so tense that he walked around on eggshells, but at least there were eggshells to walk on. 

He did spend a good amount of time that summer cooking. He had found one of his nonna’s old recipe books tucked away in his attic when his dad sent him up there to get something else, and it was small enough that he could slip into his pocket so his dad wouldn’t notice. He had been slowly teaching himself some of the dishes he remembers her cooking for him in Italy. His dad would buy whatever he added to the shopping list, and he knew he was going to at least miss that when he went back to school. 

He really did want to go back, though. Despite the fact that he was terrified to graduate, living in his current environment was too draining. He knew Abdi and Carlos had gotten a place off campus, too, so he was extra excited to have a space where he could go and not be obliged to obey the strict rules of his campus. 

He also tried to stop his thoughts from drifting in this particular direction, but Matteo was a little…  _ curious _ . His last interaction with David, despite there being no actual interacting to speak of, had been pleasant. He hadn’t returned one of David’s smiles in a long time, and while he was hesitant, it felt kind of good. He had really tried to not think about it over the summer, but it was hard to stop his mind from wandering after his fifth day in a row sitting on the chair in front of his TV.

He was still a little mad. David ratting him out could have had extreme consequences if not for his RD being so understanding, so Matteo didn’t feel  _ bad _ about the slight grudge he still felt. And yeah, maybe his feelings about David had shifted a little bit in a direction that he hadn’t been expecting, and yeah, maybe Matteo couldn’t stop himself from thinking about the night he saw David alone outside his door, but it was really nothing more than a vague crush on a hot guy. Matteo was sure of it.

He was thinking about just how insignificant of a crush it was as Jonas loaded the last of their suitcases into his car. Matteo hadn’t gotten his license yet, a fact that drove his father crazy, but Jonas had gotten his years before and finally had enough money to get a surprisingly nice car.

He was shocked that all of their stuff fit, despite the considerable size of the car. His seat may have been pushed all the way up and his legs were squished a bit under the dashboard, but it was worth it once they finally pulled away from the curb in front of Matteo’s house, one of Matteo’s random playlists blasting through the open windows, certainly annoying the other families in the neighborhood. 

_ So far away _

_ I don't wanna stay _

_ Get me out of here right now _

_ I just want to be free _

_ Is there a possibility _

_ Get me out of here right now _

Matteo laughed when Jonas stuck his head out the window and screamed, and then stopped short at the stop sign at the end of his block. Matteo jerked forward and heard stuff behind him crash and roll and bang, but he couldn’t stop laughing when he saw the grin on Jonas’ face.

“One more year, Luigi!” Jonas yelled as they pulled onto the highway, and Matteo kept his smile but sunk deeper into his seat. 

“Yeah dude, fucking crazy.” He turned to stare out the window and Jonas turned the volume down to a more normal level.

“You okay, man? Aren’t you excited to go back?”

Matteo turned to Jonas and saw a concerned look on his face and he crossed his arms over his chest before forcing a smile.

“I’m excited to go back, yeah,” he said, huffing a little, “I’m just not excited to leave.”

Jonas furrowed his brows and turned back to the road so he could merge into the left lane, but he asked facing the windshield, “Not excited about leaving your dad’s? Dude you  _ hate _ it there.” 

Matteo rolled his eyes before muttering, “No, idiot. Leaving  _ school _ . Graduating.”

Jonas hummed as he stared out at the road, before turning back to Matteo with a smile on his face.

“Dude, you’re going into the best field though. Computer science? That shit is evolving by the minute, you’ll be able to get a cool job pretty quick!”

Matteo smiled back at him and nodded, and when Jonas turned his head back to the road, Matteo frowned. He turned back to look out the window, reading the signs on the highway and watching as they slowly made their way back to school. He leaned his head fully against the window and his mind started racing as he considered what Jonas had said.

He knew that he would probably end up getting some kind of boring job in his field, if he was even able to  _ get _ a job. He may have been on track to graduate, but there’s a difference between doing well and barely passing. His grades had gotten better, along with some aspects of his mental health but going home for the summer had certainly undone some of his progress, and he already had an appointment with his on-campus therapist for that week. He was worried about his GPA sinking again and having to go into the workforce with lower than average grades, and a lower than average personality to go along with it. 

Matteo sighed and turned his head when he heard Jonas scramble for his phone. He almost tried to stop him but saw that he was just skipping a few songs. One started up and Jonas settled back into his seat. Matteo sat up in his seat and was able to adjust it so he could sit in a more comfortable position, and as he propped his feet up on the dashboard he snorted at the lyrics that started playing through the car’s speakers.

_ I was a young boy that had big plans _

_ Now I'm just another shitty old man _

_ I don't have fun and I hate everything _

_ The world owes me, so fuck you _

He tilted his head back and somehow managed to fall asleep within minutes, missing the soft, sad look Jonas shot in his direction.

*****

They settled in quickly that first day, setting their room up with practiced ease that came with being a senior. It was a strange feeling, setting his bed up for the beginning of his last new school year. He did it as quickly and neatly as he could so he didn’t have to think about it and decided to run down to the cafe to get food. They had moved into the same building they had lived in last year, and Matteo was glad for the short trek it took to get food when he needed it. 

He walked into the cafe, smiling and shyly returning the wave that the enthusiastic cashier that had been there last year aimed at him. He got in line to order his usual sandwich and pulled out his phone to play a game to pass the time. He glanced up briefly when the door opened, but looked down again with red cheeks when he saw that  _ David _ had walked in, Amira behind him. 

They were laughing at something and Matteo was grateful that David didn’t notice him. He watched as David grabbed some sports drink and an apple and walked up to the cashier, joking around and paying quickly. Amira had already walked back to the door and she called out, “David, if you don’t hurry up we’re going to be late!”

“Hey, no yelling in my store!” the cashier hollered back, and David laughed and blushed as he grabbed his stuff and turned to leave, waving at the cashier over his shoulder. Matteo kept his eyes on him until he was out the door and the bored student making the sandwiches cleared her throat. He ordered quickly with his cheeks burning and hurried out of the store as soon as he paid.

So he was settling in  _ great _ . Before he knew it three weeks had already passed, and he was feeling surprisingly… okay. Not great, as the stress of being a senior in college didn’t really allow one to feel  _ great _ that often. But he was surviving. He was getting most of his work in on time, he was smoking a little less, he was going to therapy. He was working on undoing some of the damage from the summer, and he already felt a little better about it.

And then Jonas had mentioned the party. Well, Carlos had mentioned the party, and Jonas had relayed the information to Matteo. The soccer team had apparently decided that they wanted to throw a party for the start of the new school year, and Carlos had enthusiastically offered up his and Abdi’s place. 

And Jonas hadn’t really  _ mentioned _ the party as he much as he had  _ declared _ that he and Matteo were going the night of, and that Matteo needed to change and get ready. Matteo stared up at him from where he had been lounging at his desk pretending to read something from his class.

“I don’t want to go to a party.” It wasn’t a complete lie; Matteo  _ did _ want to go to a party. He just didn’t want to go to  _ that _ party. A party being hosted by the  _ soccer team _ . That was dangerous territory.

“Come on, dude. There’s no way that’s true. There’s gonna be free booze and free weed, and hot soccer boys. Why wouldn’t you want to go?”

Matteo rolled his eyes and replied, “ _ Straight _ soccer boys, and I don’t want to hook up with an athlete.”

“They aren’t  _ all  _ straight,” Jonas said, looking almost offended on the behalf of the soccer team, but then he smiled a little and said, “and, you know. David will probably be there.”

Matteo didn’t even respond, just rolled his eyes again and stood up. He walked over to his bed and collapsed onto it, and mumbled into his pillow, “So when are we leaving?”

He knew that Jonas was grinning in triumph and he didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of looking at him. Instead Matteo flopped onto his back and laughed when Jonas said, “Uh, it starts in 15 minutes so whenever you’re ready dude.”

Matteo looked down at himself, at his black jeans and white sweater that said  _ DAMN I WISH I WAS YOUR LOVER _ on it in red text. He knew that over the years, especially in the last year, his style had gotten a little… gayer. It had gotten gayer, but he didn’t stray far from his jeans and sweaters and big, colorful jackets. He just wore tighter jeans, and sweaters that were baggy on purpose, not because they were old and worn. He still had those old sweaters of course, he just mixed them in with his newer, nicer clothes. One of the only things his dad had done right that summer was handing over his credit card after driving Matteo to the mall. 

“Do I not look like I’m ready?”

They each grabbed their wallets and phones, and Matteo remembered to grab his ear buds before leaving their room. They opted not to take their boards as they would be in no state to skate back. The walk to the Carlos and Abdi’s house was surprisingly short, and before long they were approaching the door. Matteo could hear loud music coming from the house and he bopped his head to the beat a little as he and Jonas reached the door. 

_ Got a boy with degrees, a boy in the streets _

_ A boy on his knees, he a man in the sheets _

_ Sheesh, it's all Greek to me _

_ Got this boy speaking Spanish, ay Papi _

He sent Abdi a text saying that they were there as Jonas knocked on the door, and after a few minutes Abdi was wrenching the door open, obviously drunk out of his mind.

“My boys! Go get lit, motherfuckers!” Abdi yelled and beckoned them inside, and Matteo took a deep breath before plunging into the sea of bodies behind Jonas. Jonas quickly handed him a red solo cup filled with something sweet, and he sipped on the cup as he followed Jonas around the house. Somewhere along the way he was passed a joint and he took it with him as they squeezed through the groups of people.

Matteo was pleasantly buzzed after the first cup but he drank the second one when it was offered anyway and finished off the joint that was somehow still in his hand. He was leaning against the wall listening to Jonas talk up some girl who was hanging on his every word, when he noticed a tall, red haired guy across the room staring at him.

He had seen the guy around campus and thought he might’ve even been on the soccer team. When Matteo caught his eye he smiled and tilted his head as if he was beckoning Matteo over. Matteo blushed and looked away, fidgeting with his empty cup. He was feeling kind of floaty, and he pressed his back against the wall. 

Matteo wasn’t a virgin. He hadn’t done a  _ lot _ , but he had some experience, enough to get him through a casual hook up at a party. Near the end of the last year he made a friend who would sneak him into one of the bars off campus and would sneak him drinks throughout the night, and Matteo had kissed his first boy next to the ATM, and had sucked his first dick that same night in the bathroom. It had been an interesting choice, and Jonas had yelled at him (with a hint of pride in his voice) when Matteo told him the next day. There were a few more times after that, the rest when he was in a more sober state of mind.

There had even been a consistent boy for a while. Not a boy _ friend _ , but a boy who would text Matteo and ask how his finals were going, would kiss him when he came to his room later that night, and had fucked him once before breaking it all off. The other guy was worried about moving back home once the year was over, and Matteo had already been over it by that point. The sex had been nice, the attention had been nice, but the boy himself barely stood out in Matteo’s mind. 

So Matteo wasn’t a virgin, and he wasn’t scared of hook ups. Which is why after considering it for a moment, and glancing at Jonas, he stood up from his position against the wall and took a step forward, smiling at the redhead. At that point in the night they had ended up near the door, so when it opened and the newcomer was greeted with raucous applause, Matteo stopped to look over. 

And David was standing in the doorway, looking hot as  _ fuck _ , getting clapped on the back and pulled into hugs by the other members of the soccer team. For a split second Matteo caught his eye over somebody’s shoulder, and he saw the beginnings of a smirk on David’s face before he turned away, ignoring the disappointed look on the redhead's face as he turned to face Jonas. He pretended to suddenly be engaged in their conversation, but his eyes were shifting to the side to watch David stroll around the room as if he had been there a thousand times, greeting people and grinning so wide that Matteo felt even dizzier than he did from being crossed. 

He spent the rest of that night trying to fuse himself to Jonas’ side, not even moving to grab a new drink or find whoever was just handing out joints. They stayed in the same place the whole night, Jonas getting progressively drunker as the girl he was with kept offering to refill their drinks, never extending the offer to Matteo. 

Matteo kept his eyes on David every time he passed through the room. It seemed like he spent the night alternating between groups of people, never staying with one group too long before moving on. Sometimes David would look over at him and their eyes would meet before they’d both look away, Matteo with a blush and David with a smile. He seemed to maintain his composure the whole night despite the red cup in his hand, and Matteo figured that an RA shouldn’t be getting too drunk on a school night.

That was why Matteo was so shocked when he heard somebody clear their throat in front of him and he looked up to see David standing there, a joint in his outstretched hand. His jaw dropped a little, not expecting their first real interaction in a year to happen at a fucking  _ party _ .

“Peace offering?” David said with a smile and tilt of his head, and Matteo snapped his mouth shut. 

Matteo smiled a little, couldn’t help it really, and he took the joint and put it between his lips. He was going to ask if David had a lighter but before he could, David was already holding one up near the end of the joint. He lit it and Matteo took a deep hit, David staring directly into his eyes the whole time. 

He handed the joint back to David and watched him take a hit, and impulsively said, “I didn’t think RAs were allowed to smoke or drink.”

David snorted and some smoke came out of his nose and he blew the rest through his mouth quickly before nudging the joint at Matteo and saying, “I wouldn’t exactly say it’s  _ encouraged _ ,” he leaned against the wall next to Matteo and smirked before continuing, “and that’s SRA to you.”

Matteo was a little distracted by how nice David’s smile was so it took him a second to process what David said, but when he did he raised his eyebrows.

“SRA? Impressive.”

He wasn’t sure but it seemed like David blushed a little as Matteo took another hit, and David looked down at the ground before saying, “Nah, not really. Stefan just really liked me, I guess.”

“Well,” Matteo said, handing the joint back, “you are good at your job.”

He hadn’t even really meant it in reference to the… situation from their sophomore year, but the way David but his lip and shifted his eyes made Matteo realize how it came across. He opened his mouth to say  _ something _ to retract his statement, but closed it just as quick. There was a bit of an awkward silence between them, the music coming from random speakers placed around the house cutting in to the sudden quiet of their conversation.

  
  


_ Here we go again _

_ I kinda wanna be more than friends _

_ So take it easy on me _

_ I'm afraid you're never satisfied _

“I wanted to say,” David started suddenly, and Matteo’s eyes jumped up to see him flicking the ash from the end of the joint into his empty cup, “I’ve _ been _ wanting to say for a while that I’m sorry about everything that happened. It seems like you’re doing better now but I’ve felt really bad about it.”

Matteo blinked twice as David took a hit that finished off the joint, before finally saying, “What?”

“You know,” David said, looking a little uncomfortable, “the whole thing with… when you got caught.”

“Yeah, I got that,” Matteo muttered, rolling his eyes, “but why are you apologizing?  _ You’re _ the one that got me in trouble in the first place.”

It was David’s turn to blink in confusion, and Matteo watched as he tilted his head to the side and asked, “What are you talking about?”

“How else would they have known? I’m sure my room smelled like weed so you went in and saw the joints, and called the police. And fucked me over.” 

“Matteo, we were doing health and safety checks that week. We went into every room that day, we just happened to find weed in yours.”

Matteo actually leaned back at that, opening his eyes wide. He opened and then closed his mouth again, and tried his absolute hardest to think back to that week. All he knew was that he was stressed and the only thing that was helping was the weed, but maybe he could vaguely picture the pink laminated sheet of paper on the bulletin board that said  **Health and Safety Checks This Week!**

He kept staring at David with his eyes wide and his lips slightly parted, as the foundation of his almost two year long grudge crumbled to the ground. It wasn’t so much of a crumbling, more like someone had come in and taken a sledgehammer to it. Someone with dark hair and even darker eyes, someone who was staring at Matteo with a small smirk on his face and a tilt of his head.

“Oh.” Matteo whispered quietly, blinking again under David’s unfaltering gaze. 

“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me for two years?” David asked, his smirk growing as a blush spread onto Matteo’s cheeks and up to his ears. 

“Um,” he said, tugging on his sweater a little because the room seemed to get a little bit warmer, “it wasn’t as intentional as you’re making it sound.”

Matteo watched David’s eyes drift down to his sweater and saw his eyebrows raise a little as he looked up again to say, “Right.”

Matteo laughed a little and David took a small step forward, now less than a foot from Matteo. He didn’t know what to do with David so close, so he was glad when David spoke.

“Intentional or not,” he started, his voice a little deeper in a way that made a chill run down Matteo’s spine, “do you think you’d be willing to stop?”

Matteo had been too busy staring into David’s eyes and had only caught the end of his question, so he asked in a quiet voice, “Stop what?”

“Avoiding me?”

Matteo bit his lip as David moved in even closer. He had to take a deep breath before cheekily saying, “I’ll think about it.”

David bit  _ his _ lip before nodding sagely and saying, “Probably a wise choice. I’m pretty fucking great, you might want to make that decision when you’re sober so you can take that fully into consideration.”

Matteo snorted and was quiet for a moment, assessing himself. His head was a little floaty from the weed but he felt in control. Rational. He shook out his limbs a little as the last few lines of the song played out through the room.

_ Oh, oh _

_ I want some more _

_ Oh, oh _

_ What are you waitin' for? _

_ Take a bite of my heart tonight _

What  _ was _ he waiting for? He knew that taking that song as a sign was a little cliche, but he didn’t stop himself from saying, “I’m sober enough, and I think I decided.”

David cocked his head to the side and pursed his lips, before leaning in a little and asking, “Oh? And what is your final decision?”

“I think I’m done,” Matteo said with more confidence than he had felt all year, “avoiding you, that is.”

David nodded and let the smile on his face grow, and it was so bright that Matteo almost had to take a step back, but he didn’t want to leave the little bubble that they had created. He stayed where he was and almost gasped when he suddenly felt David’s finger brushing along his cheek. 

“Sorry,” David said with red cheeks, “you had an eyelash.”

He held his finger up in front of Matteo’s mouth, and Matteo stared down at the tiny dark blond hair before saying quietly as to not blow it away, “Oh. I get to make a wish now, right?”

David nodded again, his eyes flicking from Matteo’s eyes down to his lips and back again before saying, “Those  _ are _ the rules. Do you have any wishes ready?”

Matteo took a step forward that time, until his lips were almost brushing against David’s finger. He blew the eyelash away while staring into David’s eyes, and then whispered, “Yeah, a couple.”

David dropped his hand down and suddenly Matteo felt fingers curling into his. He looked up and saw David staring at him with a more intense look, one that had heat flooding Matteo’s chest.

“Do you want to get out of here?”

Matteo had never pictured himself being on the other side of that question. Even in the rare moments before when he had let himself imagine, even just for a second, he  _ never _ thought he would hear that directed at him. He took a deep breath when David squeezed his hand.

“You can say no, Matteo,” David say sincerely, “consent is important, and if you don’t want--”

“No, no.” Matteo cut him off quickly, and David’s mouth snapped shut as Matteo continued, “I mean, yes. Yes, I want to get out of here.”

David tilted his head to the side, his lips curving into a smirk that made Matteo grip his hand harder.

“Well,” David said, stroking his thumb across the back of Matteo’s hand, “we can go back to my room, if you would like.”

Matteo didn’t hesitate for a second before licking his lips and nodding, his voice coming out strained as he said, “Yeah. I would like that.”

David grinned and squeezed his hand again, before pulling him towards the door of the house. Matteo didn’t even think to check where Jonas was or let him know that he was leaving, as David was tugging him down the street at a quick pace. 

They were mostly quiet as they walked, and David lead them to the side of the building that was closest to Carlos and Abdi’s house. He buzzed his ID against the door and lead Matteo, still by the hand, to the elevator. After they got inside and David pressed the button for his floor, they both turned to face each other.

“I’m sorry,” Matteo blurted out, “I’ve been such an asshole to you for so long.”

David laughed hard, leaning his head back against the wall. Matteo tried to not stare at his neck (no hickies, Matteo noted), and David looked back at him before saying with a chuckle, “It’s fine. It was only annoying because I’ve been wanting to hit on you since you stopped living in my building.”

Matteo had to bite his lip to stop from squealing out loud at that and he was saved when the doors slowly opened, and David walked out. Matteo followed behind him, and David led him all the way down the hall before stopping in front of a door. 

The door was covered in colorful doortags that all had David’s name on them. There were no other names on the door, and Matteo was confused. Usually there were doortags for everyone living in the room, and since David lived in a hallway with suites, he was supposed to have at least two other people. RAs got rooms to themselves, but each suite had at least two rooms in it and most RAs ended up with suitemates.

They walked into the room and Matteo looked around the common area that was shockingly clean, with a large TV in the corner. He turned to David and saw him unzipping his sweatshirt, and his words caught in his throat. 

He had almost forgotten in the excitement of it all that David was an athlete. He probably worked out, a lot, judging by how his arms were bulging slightly against his sleeves. 

“You live alone?” He asked in a tight voice, and David smiled and walked forward until he was a couple of feet in front of Matteo.

“Yeah, I really lucked out,” David said, taking another step forward, a big one that made Matteo stumble into the wall behind him, “my RD told me that they just aren’t giving me a roommate, so I put all my art stuff in the other room.”

“Oh,” Matteo said as David took another step forward, effectively backing Matteo against the wall, “that’s cool.”

David hummed before resting his hands on the wall on either side of Matteo’s waist, leaning in close before asking, “Can I kiss you, Matteo?”

David actually waited until Matteo answered, but it took him a minute. He was caught off guard because he had never been asked a sweeter question in his life, but he quickly nodded and held his breath as David smiled and leaned in.

He wasn’t expecting David to press their foreheads together before actually kissing him, but it made Matteo suck in a breath of air before David’s lips pressed against his.

David kissed like he spoke: sweet but intense, with the ability to make you forget everything else around you just so you can absorb every second of it. Matteo had been kissed before, had kissed others before, but none of them even  _ compared _ .

Matteo was already breathing a little heavy by the time David’s tongue flicked against his bottom lip and he let it drop open a little and made a noise when David moved a hand onto his waist. David licked into his mouth once it was open, and Matteo had to reach up and grab onto his shoulder because his legs started shaking. David must have noticed because he pulled away, pressing their foreheads together again. 

“You know,” David said, pulling away so Matteo could see just how red his face was, “you’re one of the prettiest boys I’ve ever seen.”

If David thought  _ that _ would do anything to help Matteo regain the use of his legs, he was dead wrong. He was almost a puddle on the floor and all he was able to do was laugh a little and say, “Shut up.”

“No, seriously. I noticed the first time I saw you. It was the first thing I noticed, really.”

Matteo bit his lip as David smiled and all he could come up with to respond was, “That’s gay.”

“You know what would be gayer?” David asked, grabbing Matteo’s hand and pulling it up to his chest, “if I asked you if you wanted to move to my bedroom.”

Matteo felt a wave of nerves run through him, followed by a sudden burst of confidence. He squeezed David’s hand and replied with a smirk, “I think it would be the  _ gayest _ if I said yes.”

David smiled and leaned in to kiss him again, harder, and Matteo had to grab the front of his shirt to keep from falling back. David pulled away just as fast as he had leaned in and he dragged Matteo to one of the doors, which opened to reveal one large bed (made out of the two standard size beds that were originally in the room), and two of everything Matteo had. Two dressers, two closets, two small cabinets. Matteo had little time to look around before David was tugging him closer.

He looked up when David was in front of him and he was immediately pulled into another kiss. He quickly found himself pressed against another wall, and David pulled away to kiss his cheek, and then his jaw, and then down his neck. David kissed his way back up until he settled on a spot right in the middle of the left side of Matteo’s neck.

Matteo felt David bite the skin there gently, before sucking a little. Matteo would have rolled his eyes if it didn’t feel so good, but David paused for a moment to ask, “Is this okay?”

“Yeah, fuck,” Matteo murmurred, and he felt David smile into his neck, “we all know you’re a vampire anyway.”

Matteo gasped when David bit down a little harder, before starting to suck a mark into his skin. Matteo’s hand clenched tightly in the back of David’s shirt and he took in a shaky breath as David stroked his thumb under the hem of Matteo’s sweater. He pulled away after a minute, his lips a little swollen and his eyes wide as he stared down at the mark. 

Matteo grabbed David’s cheeks and pulled him in for a kiss that was more teeth and tongues than anything else, and David pressed his body into Matteo’s. David pressed his thigh right against Matteo’s dick and he couldn’t help himself from thrusting forward into the slight friction.

David made a noise before pulling away, and Matteo sucked in a few deep breaths when he saw the smirk on David’s face.

“Sorry if this is a little blunt,” David said, pressing his leg forward again until Matteo was gasping, “but can I suck you off?”

Matteo’s jaw dropped and he felt himself nod, and he almost collapsed when David dropped down to his knees with no hesitation. David grabbed onto his thighs, and one of his hands slid up to the button of Matteo’s pants, purposefully rubbing over the bulge . He whimpered a little and felt his legs shake again, and David stopped with his fingers on the zipper.

“You’re shaking a lot, do you want to move to the bed?” David asked, smiling up at Matteo. It was hard for Matteo to focus with David on his knees in front of him, but he managed to nod again. David jumped up quickly and grabbed his hands, pulling him towards the bed.

“Sorry.” Matteo said, shakily climbing onto David’s bed. He didn’t know where David wanted him so he just sat in the middle, and David climbed on after him.

“No need to apologize,” David said as he crawled closer to Matteo, “just let me take care of you, baby. Can you take your sweater off for me?”

Matteo’s eyes and mouth popped open but he slid his arms out of his sweater and pushed it over his head, flushing under David’s gaze once his torso was fully bare. David put a hand on his chest and pushed him down so he was flat on the mattress, and Matteo whimpered again when David hovered over him and bent down to kiss his lips.

David pulled away after a moment and trailed his lips down Matteo’s cheek and onto his neck, licking over the bruise that he had sucked into Matteo’s skin earlier. Matteo grabbed David’s shoulder and squeezed, and David turned his head to grin up at him before kissing down to his collarbone. He sucked another mark there, and then another one right next to Matteo’s nipple, and then one more right at the bottom of his ribcage. His lips trailed softly down Matteo’s stomach until they reached the still unbuttoned waistband of his jeans. David undid them the rest of the way and then started dragging them down Matteo’s legs, and Matteo lifted his hips to make it easier. Before he knew it, his dick was springing out and smacking against his stomach. 

Matteo moaned when he felt David’s hand wrap around him and he looked down to see him grinning between Matteo’s thighs. Matteo jumped when David turned his head to kiss one of Matteo’s thighs and he heard a laugh.

“Tickles?” David asked, stroking his hand up Matteo’s dick, his thumb rubbing slow circles under the head. Matteo didn’t have the breath to answer, so he thrust his hips up instead.

David smiled but got the message, and Matteo tilted his head back when he saw David lowering his mouth to his cock and he cried out when he felt David’s tongue drag across the tip. He bit his lip when he remembered that there were people in the rooms around them and he let out a quiet, “ _ Fuck _ ,” when David dropped down and took him about halfway in his mouth.

He tentatively raised his hand from David’s shoulder and placed it in his hair. David looked up at him through his eyelashes and the sight of his mouth stretched around Matteo’s dick made Matteo thrust his hips up again. David brought an arm up to press his hips down into the mattress, and Matteo gripped his hand tight in David’s curls. David made a noise and the vibrations made him try to thrust up again, but he couldn’t move with David’s strong arm holding him down. He whined, and David pulled off of him with an obscene  _ pop _ .

“You sound so good, baby,” David said, and Matteo just panted down at him, “but you need to be a little quieter, it’s late. We don’t need any residents knocking on my door.”

Matteo laughed a little at that very real and very scary possibility, saying, “Sorry, I’ll do my best.”

David stroked him a few times just to hear his breathing pick up again, and Matteo closed his eyes after David said, “Don’t apologize for feeling good.”

David took him back in his mouth after that, and Matteo lifted the hand not tangled in David’s hair to his mouth and bit down on his palm to stay quiet.

It made sense that David was a bit of a player, because Matteo could confirm that he really was just  _ that good _ . The slide of David’s lips around him and his tongue that was licking along the vein on Matteo’s dick and his hand stroking what wasn’t in his mouth was making it hard for Matteo to stay quiet. He was making little sounds into his hand and he could tell that David could hear him, seemed to be  _ listening _ for them. David was quickly picking up on what Matteo liked and was doing it all so  _ well _ that Matteo was close to coming much sooner than he had expected.

David could tell and he started bobbing his head more, hollowing his cheeks and sucking as he came up. He pulled off to lap at the precum that was collecting on the head of Matteo’s cock, and Matteo had to bite down on his lip to keep from screaming.

“ _ Fuck _ , David, I’m really close.” Matteo whimpered. He felt David speed up, his hand twisting around the shaft as he sucked on the tip, and Matteo muffled his moan in his hand and tugged  _ hard _ on David’s hair as he came.

There was heat shooting through all his limbs as his hips stuttered against David’s arm, and David’s mouth stayed on him, swallowing around him and sucking at the head until Matteo had to shove him away from the overstimulation.

Matteo could not fucking  _ beleive _ what had just happened to him. If you had told Matteo a year ago that he would be lying naked, flat on his back in  _ David Schreibner’s _ bed, coming down from an orgasm that was still making his legs shake, he would’ve laughed. To be more accurate he probably would’ve frowned and skated away on his board, but the sentiment stood: he was fucking baffled.

It took him a few minutes to get back to himself, and when he opened his eyes again he saw David kneeling between his legs, a pleased smile on his face. His hair was fucked up from Matteo pulling on it and his eyes were hooded, his lips more swollen than before. He tilted his head as Matteo stared at him, seemingly waiting for some kind of… response, to what had just happened.

“Fuck.” Matteo breathed out, and rubbed a hand over his face and through his sweaty hair. He smiled a little when David grinned and then laughed when David almost  _ leapt _ forward to kiss him again. Matteo could taste himself a little when David’s tongue slipped into his mouth and he made a noise as his dick twitched.

“Ready for round two?” David pulled away to joke in his ear, his hand sliding down Matteo’s stomach. He stopped just before it reached his dick, and Matteo was grateful because even just David’s hand touching his skin was sending shockwaves through Matteo’s body that were just short of being too much.

“I don’t know if I could go again, but,” Matteo paused to gasp as David ducked down to nose under his jaw, his skin tingling, “ _ but _ , I could do something for you? If you want? Can I?”

Matteo was hoping David would say yes. He wanted to strip David out of his clothes the way David had done to him, suck a few marks into  _ his _ skin, wanted to kiss down his toned torso and get himself between David’s thighs. He had never felt such a strong desire to do so before, his mouth was almost  _ watering _ just thinking about it. 

David chuckled a little and tilted his head so he could kiss Matteo again, and Matteo’s hand immediately curled back into his hair. He tried to deepen the kiss but David wouldn’t let him and he whined a little when David pulled away. 

“How about,” David started, bringing his hand up to cup Matteo’s cheek, “me next time? You look a little… shaky.”

Matteo didn’t need David to call him out like that, but it was probably valid. Matteo hadn’t stopped trembling since he came and he was sure he looked like a mess. He pouted though, because  _ fuck _ did he want to get his mouth on David, and he stared up at David with what he hoped was a persuasive look. David just smiled and ran his thumb across Matteo’s bottom lip, and Matteo flicked his tongue out to lick it.

“Next time,” David said, leaning down to kiss Matteo softly, and Matteo chased his lips when he pulled away to say, “I promise we can do whatever you want, baby.”

That word sent another shot of  _ something _ through Matteo’s body and he drew in a quick breath before grabbing the collar of David’s shirt and dragging him down for another kiss. 

  
This was the part that Matteo was the least prepared for. What do you say to the guy who just sucked your dick after you were an asshole to him for two years? David seemed happy to just kiss him for a little bit, but Matteo was starting to get a little antsy. He heard a phone buzz somewhere in the room and he pouted again when David sighed and sat up to grab it. 

“Oh, it’s yours.” David handed Matteo his phone, and he almost gasped at the 20 texts from Jonas. Maybe he should’ve been a little more worried about his friend, especially knowing how drunk he was, but judging by the texts it seemed like Jonas had gotten back to their room safe. There were a few messages with smirk and eggplant emojis that Matteo decided to ignore. 

“I should… probably go back to my room. Jonas is really fucked up, and I don’t really want him to die.”

David hummed before leaning in to kiss Matteo’s shoulder, and Matteo closed his eyes when he felt a tongue tracing up his neck to a spot under his ear that made him bite his lip. 

“You know,” David whispered in his ear, “if your roommate dies, you get an automatic A for the whole semester.”

Matteo scoffed and shoved him, and David fell onto his back, cackling. In a moment of confidence he climbed on top of David, straddling his hips and laughing out, “That’s so fucking  _ morbid _ , oh my god.”

He had almost forgotten that he was still naked but David’s hands coming to rest on his hips reminded him, and he blushed and looked down at David’s grinning face. He leaned forward, kissing him again, and before he knew it David’s tongue was in his mouth.

They pulled away after a minute and David squeezed his hips and asked, “I thought you were leaving?”

Matteo sighed and checked his phone, and sighed again when he saw a new text from Jonas asking where he was. “Yeah, I have to. I think Jonas needs me.” 

Matteo bent down to kiss David one, two,  _ three _ more times before he climbed off, and started tugging his clothes back on. As he was bent over pulling on his shoes, he felt David slide off the bed, and he almost face planted when David swatted lightly at his ass as he passed him. 

When he stood up again David was standing in front of him, holding out a plain, dark blue sweatshirt. Matteo cocked his head at him and David blushed a little as he said, “It’s cold out, you should take this.”

Matteo’s cheeks started burning as his eyes flit between David’s face and the hoodie, and he finally grabbed it, shoving his arms into it and zipping it all the way up to his chin.    
  


“How will I get it back to you?” Matteo asked, burying his hands in the pocket of the hoodie. David shrugged.

“We can figure that out later,” he said, and took a step forward so he could shove his hands under the hoodie and Matteo’s sweater and onto the skin of his waist, “maybe you can bring it back next time.”

Matteo just nodded dumbly and closed his eyes as David leaned in for another kiss. They kissed slow, and sweet, all the franticness from earlier gone. David pulled away to lean their foreheads together and grabbed Matteo’s hand as he whispered, “Come, let me walk you to the door.”

The residence hall was quiet as they left David’s room, and Matteo thought about the humor of the whole situation. He had spent almost a full year being teased by the idea of David with other people, and the fact that  _ he _ was the one currently walking out of  _ David Schreibner’s _ bedroom, with  _ David Schreibner _ leading the way with a tight grasp on his hand… well, it was a little funny to think about.

Matteo let himself chuckle a little as the walked, and David turned to look at him with a raised brow. Matteo just shook his head as they reached the exit to the building, and David turned to face him at the door.

He was pulled into one more achingly sweet kiss before David pulled away and said, “Let me know when you’re back in your room, yeah? And get there safe.”

Matteo snorted and knocked his head into David’s shoulder, and with no ulterior motives he whispered, “And how am I supposed to let you know?”

David tilted his head to the side with pursed lips and he ordered, “Give me your phone.”

Matteo smirked and unlocked it quickly, handing it over to David with his contact list already pulled up. It felt like a win, even though Matteo hadn’t been the one to ask. David handed him the phone back quickly, and Matteo shoved it in his pocket as he was pulled into another kiss. It was short, and David pulled away and spun Matteo to face the door, saying with a teasing tone in his voice, “Have a good night, Matteo.”

Matteo felt his ass get smacked again and he was going to turn around to smack David back, but before he could David was already racing away back to his room with a laugh. Matteo let out a laugh too, before pushing the door open and walking down the path that lead from David’s residence hall to his. 

It was a short walk, which he was grateful for when he felt how unstable his legs still were. He dug around in his pocket and shoved one of his earbuds in his ear, opening Spotify and picking a random playlist to shuffle. He knew he would just become a pile of goo on the cold, dark sidewalk if he let himself think too hard about what had just happened, so he turned the volume all the way up.

_ I don't wanna go back home _

_ I don't wanna kiss goodnight _

_ Let us paralyze this moment til it dies _

Matteo laughed again and bit his lip when he heard the lyrics and he decided to skip the song to save his cheeks from getting any darker.

_ Starlit night _

_ The moon is shining bright _

_ You are the one that I need _

Matteo shook his head in disbelief but conceded, letting the song play until he reached his room. He slowly opened the door and sighed with relief when he saw Jonas passed out on his bed, still wearing his shoes. He snorted as he started changing out of his clothes, carefully laying David’s hoodie on his bed. Once he had changed and brushed his teeth, he stood at the edge of his bed for a minute chewing his lip before he grabbed the hoodie and tugged it back on. 

He took his phone out of his pocket and opened up his contacts, scrolling through to the D’s and searching for David’s name. His brow furrowed when he couldn’t find it, and he scrolled through and when he got near the top of his contacts, a new name popped out that made him laugh before he could stop himself.

He opened a new text conversation with the contact  _ Edward Cullen _ , and typed out,  _ haha, very funny. im back in my room, signed bella swan _ .

After bending down to plug in his phone, Matteo jumped when he heard Jonas mumble, “Someone’s back late.”

Matteo spun around with wide eyes before forcing out a laugh and scratching at the back of his neck.

“Uh, yeah. Sorry.” He saw Jonas appraising him from across the room and his hand shot up to cover his neck just as Jonas smiled. 

“Someone’s back late, with a new hickey.”

Matteo blushed as his eyes drifted to the side and he rubbed at the spot on his neck before quietly saying, “Yeah, well. You know.”

Jonas sat up in his bed, and Matteo turned his face down to the floor so Jonas wouldn’t see just how dark his cheeks were.

“Someone’s back late, with a new hickey,” Jonas started as he swung his legs out in front of him, and Matteo could tell he was still drunk when he teetered to the side before pointing at Matteo and saying, “ _ and _ somebody else’s sweatshirt.”

Matteo turned his head to the side and scoffed, quickly responding, “Why do you think this isn’t mine?”

“Well, I don’t remember you ever having a sweatshirt that said ‘Schreibner’ on the back.”

Matteo froze for a minute before swinging his arm over his shoulder to grab a fistful of the back of the hoodie, and he twisted his head and his jaw dropped when he noticed the letters on the back.  _ That fucking asshole _ , Matteo thought to himself, before turning back to Jonas and saying, “Oh, fuck.”

“Now, I’m not gonna say I told you so,” Jonas said, getting up on unsteady feet to clap Matteo on the shoulder, “but I fucking  _ told you so _ .”

He ducked out from under Jonas’s arm and ignored the bright laugh that echoed around the room. He quickly climbed into his bed and turned to face the wall, spitting out, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

He just heard Jonas giggling as he shuffled around the room and Matteo sent up a silent prayer that he was too drunk to remember any of this in the morning. Once he was in bed though, he started thinking a little more critically about the night.

It had been fucking  _ amazing. _ David had made him feel so good, and safe, and desired, and Matteo wiggled a little under his covers as some of the more explicit details jumped into his mind again. He shook his head to clear those thoughts out, but they were replaced by something that Matteo hadn’t considered yet.

It was a known fact that David never slept with the same person twice. Matteo had heard that whispered amongst the rest of the rumors about David that circulated their campus, and the thought made the smile slip from his face. He rolled onto his back and sighed suddenly much less pleased with the course his night had taken.

He wasn’t going to regret hooking up with David. It had been one of the best nights of his life, and he knew that despite all of the confusion and misunderstandings, he wanted to get to know David better. It was disappointing to realize that he had probably missed his chance.

He started drifting off to sleep, the fingers of the hand under his cheek stroking down until they pressed against the hickey. It felt a little poetic that a year ago he was the one watching people filter out of David’s room, the hickies on their neck a mark of what they had been up to. It was almost David’s  _ thing _ really, and he felt conflicted as he ran his fingers over his own bruise, one that matched the bruises of an amount of people he didn’t quite care to think about. 

As his breathing slowed down, though, a thought entered his mind. Less of a thought and more of a memory from that night, of two words that David had said. Two words that David had said  _ three distinct times _ , and Matteo felt a laugh bubble up in his chest. As he slipped into sleep, those two words echoed through his mind.

_ Next time _ . 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so 👀 here we go friends.........get fuckin ready!!!!
> 
> all of the descriptions of the american college words that i use should be below, and if not they are in the end notes of ch1!!! like always feel free to comment and ask questions if you have any!!!!
> 
> as always if you want to follow me/send me prompts/talk to me/see what dumb shit i get up to you can follow me on tumblr [here](https://shhhhyoursister.tumblr.com/), and also like always you can follow my AMAZING PERFECT FANTASTIC AMAZING editor yon [here](https://chlouais.tumblr.com/)!!!!!!!!!
> 
> be well friends <3


	3. i'll take whatever you can give that comes my way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Someone handed Matteo the joint again and he grabbed it, taking a hit as he stared at David and Leonie. Of course David took that second to look up, and their eyes locked. Matteo blew the smoke out through his nose before swiftly leaving the room._
> 
> _It was an impulsive choice, but it was easier for him to deal with the boys yelling that he took the joint than to deal with having to watch David turn away from him and back to Leonie, or worse, to watch David turn back to the boy he was flirting with. _
> 
> _He pressed his back against the wall and took a breath before taking another hit. He looked to his left and saw the table with all the alcohol, and he quickly walked towards it and poured himself another drink, adding a little extra because he deserved it, and he went back to his spot against the wall. He took his phone out and raised his cup to his lips but was interrupted by a, “Hi, Matteo.” ___

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi friends!!!! im so sorry for how long this chapter took to get out but its finally here!!!! 
> 
> the title of this chapter is from "going to pasalacqua" by green day, and here are the rest of the songs in the chapter!!!!!
> 
> "i was there" by green day  
"better in color" by lizzo  
"mr. brightside" by the killers  
"86" by green day  
"time warp" from the rocky horror picture show  
"dance to this" by troye sivan  
"oh love" by green day
> 
> enjoy yall!!!!!!

_ Next time _ , as it turns out, happened a lot faster than Matteo had been expecting. 

He had woken up the morning after the  _ first time _ when Jonas stumbled out of his bed to throw up in the bathroom. Matteo rolled over when he heard the door slam, and he snorted to himself and checked his phone. His heart almost stopped and his cheeks turned red when he saw a text from an  _ Edward Cullen _ from the night before that said  _ sleep well, bella swan _ . 

“It’s fucked up that I’m hungover and I didn’t even get to hook up with anyone while you’re all fuckin’ smiley over there,” Jonas said as he came back into the room and collapsed on his bed again.

Matteo had blushed and forced the smile off of his face before glaring back at Jonas and saying, “It’s not my fault you got so smashed last night.”

“It kind of is dude,” Jonas said with a yawn as he rolled onto his back, “you left me alone so you could go hook up with  _ David _ .”

Matteo didn’t even need to look over to know the exact smirk that was on Jonas’ face, so he just rolled his eyes and lifted a middle finger that he hoped was aimed at the other boy.

“Seriously, dude,” Jonas said as he rolled over on his side, “how was it?”

“None of your fucking business.”

“Come  _ on _ , Luigi! You can’t hook up with  _ David Schreibner _ and not share the details!”

Matteo looked up at the ceiling, tugging on the sleeves of the hoodie he was still wearing. Remembering the name that was plastered on the back of it made him blush again, and he finally said, “It was… good.”

It had been more than good. He was trying to keep all of the memories of the previous night from flooding his mind, because he didn’t need to be getting hard less than six feet from his best friend. He had already felt a little shiver run through his body at just the vague thought of David-- he had things to do that day, so he couldn’t let himself get too distracted.

“So he lived up to all the hype?” Jonas asked, his eyebrows raised. 

Matteo was silent as he stretched his arms over his head, leaving Jonas in suspense for a moment just to be a  _ bit _ annoying. He felt he deserved it though, as it wasn’t particularly polite for Jonas to be prying into his sex life, so he also waited till he let out a yawn before turning to Jonas with a cheeky grin and saying, “I’d say so.”

Jonas grinned at him and actually pumped a fist in the air as he yelled out, “ _ Hell _ yeah, Luigi! I’m so proud of you dude, you finally got your head out of your ass!”

Matteo was going to yell at him to shut the fuck  _ up _ and stop screaming loud enough for the people in the next room to hear, but before he could, Jonas’ face got pale and he rocketed up out of his bed to run to the bathroom again. He came back a few minutes later and fell into his desk chair.

“Don’t ever let me drink again, man.”

*****

That only lasted about a week. 

The next Saturday, exactly a week after his night in David’s room, Jonas told him that the soccer team was hosting  _ another _ party at Carlos and Abdi’s, and that they just  _ had  _ to go so Jonas could get his turn to hook up with someone. Matteo snorted but agreed and had turned back to his computer with a giddy smile on his face.

David was probably going to be there. David, who Matteo had hooked up with at a party. David, who Matteo had a fucking huge crush on that only got  _ worse _ after they hooked up. David, who had said  _ next time _ .

He had spent the whole week thinking about it. He would be in class and suddenly the image of David on his knees would pop into his head, and he’d have to think as many awful thoughts as he could to get his dick to calm down again. He would be smoking with the boys and he’d suddenly remember what David’s eyes looked like when he gazed up at Matteo from between his thighs, and he’d escape to the bathroom and press his suddenly flushed face against the cool wall. There was one morning he was showering and he heard David’s voice calling him  _ pretty _ echoing through his mind, and he needed to twist the dial to the other side until freezing cold water poured over his heated skin. 

And he knew that there was the chance it would happen again. The thing he had been thinking about the  _ most _ since that night was David’s promise of a  _ next time _ ; those words had constantly been in his head since he had processed that David had actually said them. 

He was thinking about those words as he got ready for the party. He had gotten more notice for this one, even though they were going to be late because Jonas had… some kind of meeting, and Matteo figured he should make himself presentable if there was even the  _ chance _ of anything happening between him and David again.

He picked out a pair of gray jeans that he almost never wore because they were tight and a little ripped at the knees, and one of his go-to sweaters. He briefly considered throwing David’s sweatshirt on top of it, but didn’t know if it was his place to walk into a party full of David’s teammates with David’s name plastered on his back, so he just threw it on his bed so he would remember to take it with him. 

He settled at his desk while he waited for Jonas to get back and then stood up again a second later to pace around the small room. He couldn’t stop himself from being nervous about the night ahead, nervous but  _ excited _ in a way that was making him bounce on his toes a little. He went back to his desk and grabbed his earbuds and shoved one into his ear as he pulled up his music, and scrolled through until he found a song he wanted, something loud that would fill his head instead of letting himself worry.

_ Looking back upon my life _

_ And the places that I've been _

_ Pictures, faces, girls I've loved _

_ I try to remember when _

_ Faded memories on the wall _

_ Some names I have forgotten _

_ But each one is a memory I _

_ Look back on so often _

He let the music play in his ears until Jonas burst through the door and declared that it was time to leave. He grabbed his wallet and laughed when Jonas grabbed his hand to hurry him along, and just as they were walking out the doors of their building, Matteo realized he had forgotten the sweatshirt.

“Oh, shit dude, can we turn back? I forgot something.”

“I mean we’re already late Luigi, is it important?”

Matteo paused for a moment to consider. He could run back to his room and grab the sweatshirt and hopefully find David at the party to give it back to him (and  _ hopefully _ to do more than that). Or, he could leave it. It was a selfish choice but the idea of having David’s sweatshirt in his possession for longer made Matteo a little giddy, so he turned to Jonas and shrugged before responding, “Nah, not really. We can just go.”

They walked the short walk to Carlos and Abdi’s and as they approached Matteo could hear the tell-tale signs of a college party; loud music, loud people, and the sound of bottles clanking.

_ Sick six piston _

_ Tiptoe kissin' _

_ Catcall kittens _

_ Whole milk lickin' _

_ See my vision _

_ Rainbow smitten _

_ It's easy baby, got the whole world for the pickin' _

_ You can be my lover _

_ 'Cause love looks better in color _

_ (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah) _

They walked through the door, not bothering to knock this time, and Matteo took the lead and dragged them towards the table with all the drinks. He hadn’t drank too much at the first party, and his trick of drinking in the beginning and then smoking to keep the slight buzz going had worked out pretty well for him, so he grabbed a cup and filled it a third of the way with vodka before drinking the whole thing in one go. 

He felt a warmth come over his body as he winced at the taste and he turned to watch Jonas copy him with a loose smile. He let his eyes start wandering around the room, and he only frowned a little bit when he didn’t see David immediately. He turned back when Jonas clapped him on the shoulder and dragged him over to where Abdi and Carlos were standing in the corner of the room, talking to a shorter girl with long brown hair and bangs.

“Well, Sara had him last year and she said he was fucking awful. I almost stormed into his office after that whole  _ thing _ with that essay she wrote.”

“Oh, I remember that, that was fucked up. What kind of asshole fails a student just because he disagrees with her?”

“More than you’d think.”

“Oh, boys,” Carlos said, noticing Jonas and Matteo standing there awkwardly, “this is Leonie! She’s on the girl’s soccer team.”

Matteo looked down at the girl who had trained her eyes on him, and he felt a little intimidated under her gaze. She had an intense look about her, and he nodded a little before saying, “Oh, uh, hi. I’m Matteo.”

“Matteo, I heard a little bit of a rumor about you.” Abdi said loudly, cutting off Jonas who was about to introduce himself, and by the way the liquid in his cup sloshed against the side when he turned and his overall demeanor, Matteo could tell he was wasted again.

“What rumor? I’m boring.”

“Well I  _ heard _ ,” Abdi started with a slow-growing grin, “that you left the party last week with David.”

“Dude, I thought you hated David?” Carlos said, confused.

“David? Like _ David Schreibner _ David?” Leonie turned away from Abdi with wide eyes and looked back at Matteo.

“Um.” Matteo didn’t know how to respond. His mind was fuzzy and he hadn’t exactly been expecting to be questioned about his night with David by a girl that he had never met, so he just stared at her in confusion, completely ignoring Carlos, until he felt Jonas clap him on the shoulder again.

“Yeah, can’t you tell?” Jonas poked the hickey that was on Matteo’s neck and he slapped his hand away.

“Um,” Matteo said again, scratching at the back of his neck, “yeah, that was me. I guess.”

“Hm.” Leonie said, squinting at him. After a moment she turned and walked away, and Matteo stared at her back until she turned a corner and disappeared into the party.

“Okay, what the fuck was that?”

“Oh, her and David are really close. I don’t know why she reacted like that but… that’s Leonie,” Carlos said, and then chugged the rest of his drink. Matteo nodded and took the joint that he was suddenly offered by Jonas, and took a hit.

At some point in the night they moved to a different room, and Abdi had just started yelling about some professor when Matteo turned his head to see David in the corner of the room.

He froze, wondering how he had missed him when they had first entered, considering _David_ had been the only thought running through his head all night. He was frozen, but the corners of his lips turned down when he saw David talking to someone tall, with dark, curly hair and facial hair to match. And it looked like David was _talking_ to him the way he talked when he had talked to _Matteo_ at the last party, with the way his head was tilted and his cheeks were red. Matteo could see a smile on his face and his eyes were dark and sharp, and Matteo felt his entire body deflate. 

So it  _ was _ just going to be a one time thing. He turned away from the whole situation and tried to listen to the conversation the boys were having, but he didn’t really give a fuck. He let his head hang a little and wished that the music playing through the speakers didn’t have to kick him while he was down.

_ Now I'm falling asleep _

_ And she's calling a cab _

_ While he's having a smoke _

_ And she's taking a drag _

_ Now they're going to bed _

_ And my stomach is sick _

_ And it's all in my head _

_ But she's touching his chest now _

Everyone around him started singing along to the song, but Matteo looked up again when he noticed someone else enter the room and he watched as Leonie speed-walked over to David and wrapped an arm around his neck. David looked down and smiled wide at her, pulling her into his side with an arm around her waist. It looked like she  _ yanked _ him down to whisper something in his ear, and Matteo could see David’s face change as she spoke. His smile dropped and his brows furrowed, and he pulled away to whisper something back.

In a fucked up way, Matteo kind of felt  _ bad _ for the guy that David was talking to. He was standing there looking between the two, a confused look on his face, before he bit his lip and took his phone out of his pocket, tapping his foot to the song. 

Someone handed Matteo the joint again and he grabbed it, taking a hit as he stared at David and Leonie. Of course David took that second to look up, and their eyes  _ locked _ . Matteo blew the smoke out through his nose before swiftly leaving the room.

It was an impulsive choice, but it was easier for him to deal with the boys yelling that he took the joint than to deal with having to watch David turn away from him and back to Leonie, or worse, to watch David turn back to the boy he was flirting with. 

He pressed his back against the wall and took a breath before taking another hit. He looked to his left and saw the table with all the alcohol, and he quickly walked towards it and poured himself another drink, adding a little extra because he deserved it, and he went back to his spot against the wall. He took his phone out and raised his cup to his lips but was interrupted by a, “Hi, Matteo.”

He looked up with wide eyes when he recognized David’s voice, and his jaw dropped when David took the joint out of his hand and took a hit, staring at Matteo the whole time. 

He hadn’t been expecting David to come up to him, and his body’s reaction to seeing him so close again was borderline embarrassing. He could feel all of his skin from the tips of his ears to his fucking nipples flush, and he just stared at him as David held the joint out and cocked an eyebrow at him. 

“Hi.” He said back, and took the joint and stuck it between his lips to keep from saying anything else. 

“When did you get here? I had been looking for you.” 

Matteo’s eyes widened again and he almost choked on the smoke in his throat, and he exhaled quickly but held onto the joint.

“Well, I’m sorry I kept you waiting,” he started, and David smirked, “but it seems like you found someone else in the meantime, so….” He let his sentence trail off, and David’s smirk dropped a little.

“What do you mean?”

“That boy you were talking to in there,” he took another hit and blew it out through his teeth and continued, “he was pretty cute.”

David let out a laugh, and then another one, and before Matteo knew it his back was pressing against the wall as David took a step closer, fully chuckling.

“Mohammed  _ is _ pretty cute,” David leaned forward and pressed his forehead the slightest bit against Matteo’s before turning to whisper in his ear, “but he’s also straight, and head over heels in love with his girlfriend.”

“Oh.” Matteo whispered as David pulled back, putting his hand on the wall next to Matteo’s head.

“Yeah,” he said, and his eyes trailed down Matteo’s body and then back up again, “you’re the only one here I want to talk to.”

Matteo took a deep breath and suddenly remembered the joint in his hand, and instead of responding he held the joint up in front of David’s face.

He wasn’t expecting for David to part his lips and look at Matteo expectantly, but when he caught on to what he wanted he took another deep breath and put the joint between David’s lips, swallowing when David closed his mouth around it and sucked in. 

“So,” David started with smoke coming out of his mouth, after grabbing the joint and handing it back to Matteo, “would you maybe want to come back to my place again?”

Matteo should’ve expected it but the question still made him shiver, especially when David tilted his head and smiled so sweetly that it made Matteo’s stomach hurt. But he was still feeling a little…he didn’t want to call it  _ jealous _ , because he didn’t have the right to feel jealous over David, but he was still feeling some kind of way about it, so he hummed and turned his head to the side.

“I don’t know,” he glanced around the room before looking back at David’s amused face, “I haven’t been here too long, I kind of want to enjoy the party a bit.”

David pursed his lips and nodded, before glancing quickly around the room and leaning in to kiss Matteo’s neck, trailing up to his ear, and whispering, “Enjoy the party, but you’re coming home with me tonight.”

He pushed off the wall, and Matteo noticed that his face had changed. He was smirking, and there was something dangerously playful in his eyes. He winked before spinning around and he left the room with Matteo’s eyes on him. 

Matteo took a deep breath before smiling to himself, the same giddy feeling he got when he was with David the first night filling him up. He giggled a bit before leaving the room and going back to his friends. He could tell that Jonas knew something was up. He didn’t say anything though, and Matteo was relieved because he was not in the mood to deal with the boys questioning him.

He noticed when David came into the room again

  
  
  


, and their eyes met before David looked back at his friend with a smirk on his face. It was the same guy as before, Mohammed, and Matteo giggled again quietly to himself. He saw the two settle against a wall on the opposite side of the room that was conveniently right in Matteo’s line of sight, and he watched as a blond girl, dragging Leonie by the hand, joined the conversation. 

He bit his lip when David’s eyes darted up to his again, staring at him almost over Leonie’s head, and Matteo raised an eyebrow, turning back to the conversation that he wasn’t paying attention to. After a moment Jonas decided that they very quickly needed to go to the kitchen to take shots, and he was yanked away, his eyes catching David’s one more time. 

He was handed a shot when they got there, and it was a small one, so Matteo felt comfortable doing it. He never liked getting too drunk at parties, ever since his whole… situation at the bars the year before. He was buzzed but comfortable, more from the weed than anything else. And not only was he  _ buzzed _ , but he was  _ buzzing _ too. He felt like he was vibrating out of his skin.

He knew that he was the one who was making them wait, but he wanted nothing more than to grab David by the strings of the thick black hoodie he was wearing and drag him back to his room. He almost choked on the water he was drinking when David walked into the kitchen, alone, and made a beeline right towards their group. All of the boys shut up as he approached, and David slid in between Matteo and Abdi against the wall like he fit there. They were all pressed together in the crowded space, so Matteo was shoved into David’s side.

“Hey Carlos, I had been meaning to ask you something about our next practice.”

Matteo’s ears stopped working the second he felt David’s hand worm between his back and the wall. He kept his gaze on Carlos as that hand slid up his spine before sliding down, and slipping under his sweater. He felt a finger dip under the waistband of his pants for a split second before David was pulling away with a, “Thanks man! See you later!” 

He let out a breath as all the boys watched David leave, and then immediately turned to him. Before any of them could say anything, he muttered, “Bathroom,” and walked out of the kitchen, bumping into people as he went.

He didn’t need the boys to know that he had gotten half-hard almost the second David had touched his skin, and he was grateful to get to the bathroom before they found out. He leaned on the sink for a minute before turning it on and splashing cold water on his face.

He hung out in there for a few minutes until his boner had gone away, and he opened the door to leave but was stopped when a hand was placed on his chest and he was pushed back in.

He gasped when David let the door swing shut behind him, and smiled, saying quietly, “Are you ready yet?”

“Someone’s impatient,” Matteo quipped back, trying to hide the way he was shaking as David took a step closer.

“I’ve been called that before, yeah,” David said, one of his hands running through his hair, “but I tend to prefer ‘eager’.”

Matteo didn’t let another second pass before he stepped forward and shoved David against the door with a kiss. David laughed into his mouth but grabbed his waist and tugged him closer. He pulled away so he could attach his lips to David’s neck, and David let out a breathy laugh before teasing, “ _ Someone’s impatient _ .”

Matteo just nodded before shoving his face back in David’s neck and biting a spot near the collar of his sweatshirt. David’s hand clenched in his sweater so he bit again and started sucking lightly on the skin. He managed to put a mark there by the time David pushed him away and looked at him with dark eyes.

“Not impatient,” Matteo said with a smile, “just eager.”

David smirked back at him and grabbed his hand, pulling him out of the bathroom with determination. 

Matteo caught Jonas’ eye as he was pulled through the house, and he watched his jaw slowly drop as David guided him through the crowd and out the door. The walk, like last time, was mostly silent. Matteo was still feeling a little cocky though, and maybe  _ slightly _ crossed, so as they neared the building he joked, “Did you just invite me back ‘cause I said I’d get you off?”

David whipped his head around with a grin on his face, and their hands disconnected for a minute so David could hit his arm.

“No, that isn’t the reason.” He responded indignantly, sliding his arm around Matteo’s waist. It was a little hard to walk but Matteo decided it was worth it once David’s hand slipped into his back pocket.

“Why, then?” He realized that the question was probably a little more complicated than the joking tone of the conversation warranted, but David just shrugged.

“Like I said,” he replied, turning to look at Matteo, “you’re pretty. And sweet. And now I know that you’re a little annoying, too.”

“Annoying?” Matteo questioned, his face heating up when David used  _ that _ other word again. They reached the building, but instead of going for the door, he flipped Matteo until he was pressed against the brick wall.

“Yeah, you made me wait.”

“Like I said,” Matteo breathed, pushing David in the direction of the door, “impatient.”

They got up to David’s suite with no more conversation, and quickly they were on the bed, David’s sweatshirt forgotten in the other room, making out. Matteo had been a little surprised when David had straddled his lap on the bed, but he wasn’t complaining, especially not when David grabbed his face and tilted his head back, and bent down to kiss him. He tentatively placed his hands on David’s thighs and almost moaned when he felt the  _ muscle _ under the skin, and he was suddenly desperate to  _ see _ that skin. 

He pushed David back and laughed a little when his hands pushed under Matteo’s sweater and up his chest, and Matteo shrugged out of it. Matteo did actually make a noise when David leaned back and reached over his shoulder to tug his shirt off, because holy  _ fuck _ if Matteo had thought David was hot before….

David had an almost unfairly nice body. He wasn’t the kind of bulky that some people got, where they looked more muscle than human, but he was definitely fucking  _ jacked _ . His stomach was tight and there was the hint of a six pack that Matteo wanted to shove his face into. His chest was defined, and Matteo’s eyes paused for a slight moment on the scars that were there before David grabbed his face and pulled him in for another kiss. David pulled away after a moment, his eyes trailing up and down Matteo’s torso as if he hadn’t done the same a week before. 

“So.” David said, before suddenly bending down sucking a hickey next to the one that was fading on Matteo’s neck, and Matteo gasped and his hand jumped up to David’s hips. He squeezed a little and closed his eyes when David’s mouth moved to a spot a little below and bit the skin there, too.

“So,” David started again, his voice a little lower, one of his hands coming to rest on Matteo’s chest, “you mentioned something last time.”

Matteo opened his eyes but closed them again when the hand on his chest started pressing him down into the mattress, and he let himself flop onto his back. He looked up again and had to breathe when he saw David grinning down at him.

“Did I?” Matteo said in a strained voice as David dipped down and started kissing at his collarbone and down to his chest, stopping to attach his mouth to one of Matteo’s nipples. He gasped and David pulled away to look down at him again.

“You did,” David’s face was flushed and Matteo was so tempted to just tug him down to kiss more, but David said with a smirk, “something about  _ desperately _ wanting to get me off?”

“I wasn’t  _ desperate _ .” Matteo huffed with faux anger, but the glare on his face was soon replaced with closed eyes and parted lips as David grinded down against him, and laughed.

“Seemed a little desperate.” And David’s voice was a little different that time, rough in a way that Matteo wasn’t really expecting. He opened his eyes to see the same challenging smirk David had on his face earlier, and something about it made Matteo’s head spin more than it already was.

Matteo realized there was no use in lying, and figured it might even speed David up a bit, so as David moved his hips in slow circles Matteo breathed out, “Okay, maybe a  _ little _ .”

“I like that,” David said, and Matteo gulped as he suddenly stopped moving to ask, “so what did you want to do to me?”

“Um.” Matteo hadn’t been expecting David to ask him so outright, and he felt the tips of his ears turn red. He wasn’t the most experienced when talking about sex, so he didn’t answer for a moment as he thought about what to actually  _ say _ .

“I’m sure you had  _ some _ kind of idea when you offered.” David teased a little, rolling his hips again, and Matteo bit his lip as David tilted his head to smirk down at him. 

“Well, I, uh…” He didn’t know exactly how to ask for what he wanted but he could tell that David wasn’t going to do anything until he spoke, so he tentatively said, “I kind of wanted to go down on you?”

He wasn’t expecting David’s smirk to fall a little, and he panicked, trying to figure out what he said wrong. He also wasn’t expecting David to lean down again to press their lips together in a soft kiss, softer than any they had shared yet. He pulled away after a moment and Matteo realized he still had a smile on his face, it was just less of a smirk, and held the hint of something more sincere.

“Yeah, we can do that if you want.” David flipped onto his back, still with that smile on his face, and Matteo started appreciating just how big his bed was. David was able to splay out completely, and instead of moving Matteo took a moment to force himself to  _ breathe _ because while he had been  _ hoping _ for it, he hadn’t actually expected his night to take this path.

He almost choked when he noticed that David’s hand had started unbuttoning his own pants, and his jaw actually dropped when David shoved his jeans and boxers down in one go. David propped himself up on his elbows before turning to stare back at Matteo. 

“Have you done this before?” David asked, and Matteo had to shift his eyes up from where they had been slowly trailing down David’s stomach. 

He bit his lip again and shook his head, and David nodded a bit, still smiling. He didn’t seem nervous, unlike Matteo, who was almost vibrating with the mixture of nerves and  _ want _ . He had no idea what to do, but seeing David smiling up at him reassured him that that was okay.

  
Matteo moved until he was kneeling between David’s legs, and he was grateful when David immediately pulled him in for another kiss. That was always a good place to start, and David’s tongue flicking against his lessened the ball of nerves in his stomach. It also, however, reminded Matteo of how hard he was, and how  _ uncomfortable _ his jeans had become. He pulled away for a moment and struggled to unbutton them, and David’s hands knocked his away and did it quickly, and Matteo shoved them off. He saw David’s hand twitch as if he was going to try to take Matteo’s boxers off too, but before he could Matteo bent down so he could start kissing David’s neck. 

David leaned back on his elbows a little more, and Matteo kissed over to the hickey he had left on David’s shoulder earlier. He moved a little lower and started kissing and biting at his collarbones, and David fell back until he was fully resting on the mattress. Matteo moved with him, his lips attached to a spot near the middle of David’s chest. He started kissing more down David’s torso and left a couple of hickies along the way, before letting himself nuzzle into David’s stomach like he wanted. The skin there was soft but the muscle under it wasn’t, and Matteo huffed into a spot near David’s navel before pressing his lips to the skin below it. He kissed along the bottom of David’s stomach, listening to David’s breathing which was much more steady than his own. Matteo planned to change that, though.

Matteo took a breath before shifting back a little and lying on his stomach between David’s legs. He looked up just in time to see David gazing down at him with hooded eyes, and he stroked an experimental hand down David’s thigh. David propped his leg up on his foot which made his legs spread a little more. Matteo had to close his eyes for a moment before opening them again, and he bet they were darker. He was feeling a kind of  _ need _ that he hadn’t ever felt before. He quickly wrapped his hand around David’s strong thigh, and he had to take another breath when he felt the muscles shifting under the skin.

If Matteo had thought that David’s upper body was nice, his thighs and legs and everything else on the lower half were even better. Matteo figured it was from soccer, but he also didn’t really care as he turned his head to press a quick kiss to David’s thigh like David had done to him. David didn’t jump, though, he just let out a quiet noise that made Matteo shift a little closer, and he took a breath before leaning in.

David’s head tilted back when Matteo started gently licking, and he felt a hand slide into his hair. His eyes flicked up so he could watch David’s reaction as he started licking a little higher, trying to figure out what he needed to do to make David feel good. He had a vague idea of what he had to do, and as he circled his tongue, he was rewarded with a quiet moan from above him, along with David’s fingers tightening in his hair. He let himself smile a little, and tilted his head down, smiling again when David let out a few more sounds from above him as Matteo’s tongue circled again, around his entrance. He nudged his tongue forward and David gasped, and he pushed the tip in a little, listening to David’s breathing pick up above him. 

He was surprised when he felt a  _ yank _ on his hair, and he stopped his tongue to look up at David. He may have made sound in the back of his throat at the feeling, and his hips  _ may _ have started grinding into the mattress a little. He hadn’t realized how affected he would be by hearing the quiet sounds from above him and feeling David’s hips rolling against his tongue, and seeing David staring down at him with dilated pupils and a flushed face only made him thrust down again. 

“Fuck, you  _ were _ desperate,” David said, panting a little, and he needed to tug on Matteo’s hair again when he tried to lean back in, “can you use your fingers?”

Matteo closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against David’s thigh for a moment before nodding and removing one of his hands from where it had been squeezing at David’s thigh, and he almost moaned when he saw the marks that his fingernails had left in David’s skin. It was another new thing, but Matteo didn’t feel nervous at all as he brought his index finger up to rub a little against David’s hole, and he stared pressing it in when he saw David’s head fall back again. 

He slid it all the way in and started licking again when David let out a long breath, and his hips shifted against the mattress again when he felt another tug at his hair. David started moving his hips a little, thrusting down onto Matteo’s finger, and he got the hint and started moving it. He added a second one after a couple of minutes, and David made a noise that was loud enough that he had to cover his own mouth, and the sight of  _ that _ made Matteo pull back for a second so he could breathe. It was really only a second though, because David was quickly tugging him back into position. He laughed a little breathily as his dick twitched against the bed but he brought his lips back between David’s thighs and started sucking, and he felt David’s thighs shaking a little. 

Matteo figured David was starting to get close, and he was a little embarrassed to realize that he was, too. He felt heat spreading through his abdomen as David’s legs started twitching, and he almost came immediately once David started talking.

“Fuck, baby, you’re good at this. You look so good doing it too,  _ fuck _ .”

Matteo didn’t know what it was about the way David spoke to him, but the compliments were shooting right to his cock and he didn’t stop himself from rubbing against the mattress as he sped up his fingers and his mouth, trying to get David to the same place he was.

Matteo curled his fingers up, and David’s hips started grinding against his hand and lips as his breathing got even faster, and Matteo rubbed where his fingers were, and he heard a low whine in response.

“Fuck, just like that, baby, I’m so close.” David breathed down at him, and Matteo looked up to watch as David’s head tilted back more and more and the little noises he was making got louder and louder, until finally David’s hand locked in his hair and he gasped loud, his hips stuttering against Matteo’s face. Matteo watched with wide eyes as David came, and he was gently pushed away after a few moments. He rolled onto his back and shoved a hand into his boxers, and only had to stroke himself twice before he was coming hard into his own hand.

It took a minute for Matteo’s head to clear enough for him to open his eyes, and when he did he saw David in a similar state. They were both panting, sweaty messes, and Matteo felt himself smile a little before he could stop it. David smiled back at him, and before he knew it, they were both giggling. Matteo’s hand was still in his boxers, and he knew that he needed to deal with that whole situation fast, so still giggling he asked David, “Can I go to your bathroom? I need to deal with… this.”

David laughed an actual laugh at that and nodded, running a hand over his face before saying, “Yeah, it’s the door to the left. Be quick though.”

Matteo rolled his eyes at David’s cheeky grin before grimacing as he wiped his dirty hand on his thigh. He slid off of David’s bed and stood up on shaky legs, and walked carefully out of the room, and when he closed the bathroom door behind him, he turned to look in the mirror. 

His hair was the first thing he noticed, particularly how fucked up it was from David gripping it. That memory sent an uncomfortable wave of heat through him again and he quickly lowered his eyes so he could see his own flushed face, and he laughed a little breathlessly when he noticed that the areas around his mouth were a little wet. He grinned at himself in the mirror, feeling a little  _ too _ proud of himself, but he quickly dealt with his boxers and washed himself up. When he opened the bathroom door again David was standing in front of him wearing a pair of shorts that he must have slid on, and he raised an eyebrow at Matteo and smiled as he gently nudged him out of the way so he could walk into the bathroom, and the door shut behind him.

Matteo went back into David’s bedroom and leaned against the bed, not quite knowing what to do. His head was still a little fuzzy from being crossed, and none of  _ that  _ had helped. He wanted to crawl into his bed and sleep for a thousand years, but the thought of crawling back into David’s bed was a little more inviting. He considered asking him if he could stay over, but just as he had that thought he heard a phone buzzing. He saw David’s phone on the desk and the screen was black, so he picked his pants up off the ground and found the buzzing phone in his pocket. He saw Jonas’ name on the screen, and he rolled his eyes before answering.

“What?”

“Luigi!” Jonas yelled into the phone, and Matteo flinched as he heard, “bro, I know you’re getting ass right now but I’m locked out, like so locked out. I’m also, like, so drunk. Please come help me.”

Matteo muttered a quick, “You owe me,” into the phone before hanging up, and he sighed before grabbing his pants to pull them on. He was putting his sweater on as David came back in to the room, and it was a bit of a shock when he finally tugged it over his head and saw David leaning against the door, staring at him.

“You’re going?” He sounded disappointed as he took a step forward and wrapped his arms around Matteo’s waist, and Matteo swore to kill Jonas when he saw him.

“I don’t want to, but Jonas is locked out.” His eyes closed as David leaned in to kiss under his jaw.

“Tell him to call the RA on duty, they’ll let him in.” David started kissing down his neck as he said it and Matteo’s head tilted to the side. 

“He’s drunk.”

David hummed into his skin before biting suddenly and sucking a new hickey there, and Matteo rolled his eyes at the same as he gasped. Once he was sure there was a mark there David stepped away, and sighed.

“Tell Jonas that I’m gonna kick his ass for taking you away from me,” David said as he walked back into the main area of the suite. Matteo’s jaw dropped at the words and he felt himself blush again as David came back in, and like the first time, he held out the sweatshirt he had been wearing that night with a blush of his own.

“I still have one of your sweatshirts, are you sure you want to trust me with another one?” Matteo joked as his face got as red as David’s. He took the sweatshirt despite his words, and he tugged it over his head before David responded.

“I’ll just have to text you to get them back, we have an away game soon and I need to wear the one you have.” David pulled him in for another kiss, and then broke it off so he could pull on a shirt (which Matteo only frowned at a little bit). He grabbed Matteo’s hand and led him out the door, and Matteo almost missed how he glanced around before tugging him to the stairs. 

He was sent off with another kiss and an, “Until next time, Ms. Swan,” and he laughed as David turned to run back up the stairs. He started walking the path back to his building, and he was still reeling so much from his night that he didn’t even put his earbuds in. He surprised himself when he let out a loud laugh, and quickly covered his mouth and looked around. It was late enough that there was nobody else around, so Matteo let himself laugh again.

_ Another next time _ , he thought to himself as he approached his building. He frowned though when he saw Jonas sitting on a bench outside, his head hanging between his knees. 

“Okay, asshole, let’s get you to bed.” Jonas looked up when Matteo kicked at his shoe, and he almost laughed at the look of relief on Jonas’ face. He managed to get them up to their room and Jonas into his bed safely, and he got himself ready before collapsing into his own. Like the other night, he hesitated before pulling David’s sweatshirt on, and he pulled the hood up and cuddled into the soft fabric. 

“So, Mr. Florenzi,” he heard Jonas slur from the other side of the room, “another sweatshirt that isn’t yours.”

“You saw me leave with David, Jonas, it isn’t much of a secret.” He wasn’t in the mood to deal with the friend who had forced him to leave an extremely hot boy’s bed, and Jonas was drunk enough that he didn’t care about being nice. 

“Oh yeah….” Jonas responded, and he was silent again for a moment before Matteo heard snores coming from his side of the room.

Matteo let himself melt into his bed and he felt himself smile as he rested his head on the pillow. He tugged the sleeves of David’s sweatshirt over his hands and giggled quietly to himself, feeling his face get hot again. He could also feel himself slipping into sleep a bit, thoroughly worn out from the party and from David. 

His eyes closed, and he could hear a song from the party earlier playing in his head as he finally drifted off. 

_ You can be my lover _

_ 'Cause love looks better in color _

*****

Matteo was a little surprised about a week later when he took his phone out of his pocket and saw a text that he had missed while he was skating back from his therapy appointment, from an  _ Edward Cullen _ , that just said  _ hey. _

He had stopped outside of his building to look at it, and he almost got hit by the door when it swung open in front of him. He stuttered out an apology to the confused looking girls who were leaving, and he squeezed through the open door and got into the elevator without looking at his phone again. He only took it out once he reached his room, and he fell onto his bed, smiling at the message.

It was the middle of the day and he was pretty sure Jonas was in class, so he didn’t stop himself from giggling a little as typed out a  _ hey _ in response, unable to keep in just how excited he was to be texting  _ David Schreibner _ . The Matteo from a year before would be rolling his eyes at current Matteo’s glee at receiving a one word text from the guy he hated for two years, but current Matteo really didn’t give a fuck. 

He didn’t get a text for a few minutes, so he turned and started gathering what he needed for his next class. He had about an hour and a half, but he figured if he packed his bag first, he’d be able to lie in bed and fuck around on his phone until the very last second. He had just flopped onto his stomach when his phone vibrated in his hands, and he looked and saw a text from David saying,  _ i believe you have something of mine _ . 

He smiled a little and sent back,  _ two somethings _ , before opening his messages with Jonas and texting him a meme. His phone buzzed again and he saw  _ just one something that i really need to take back, were leaving for the game tonight and the coach will kill me if i dont have it _ .

Matteo tilted his head a little and responded,  _ i can bring them by later if you want? _ He watched David type for a minute, his eyes trained on the little bubble until it turned into a message saying,  _ how about now? and really, i only need the soccer one _ .

Matteo blushed when he realized that David was saying he could hold onto the black sweatshirt he had given him the week before, and looked over at where it was laid over the top of his desk chair. He chewed on his lip for a moment before texting back,  _ now is good, and ill bring the soccer one _ .

He stood up and let out a breath before slipping his backpack on, realizing that he might not have time to go back and get it before he had to leave for his next class. He huffed a little at the fact that he would no longer have his usual break to decompress after therapy, but he wasn’t  _ too _ mad, considering he would get to see David. He grabbed the sweatshirt with  _ Schreibner _ across the back, put his earbuds in, and walked to the door. 

_ What brings you around? _

_ Did you lose something the last time you were here? _

_ You'll never find it now _

_ It's buried deep with your identity _

Matteo smiled as he left the room, and as he left his building and stepped onto his board, he realized that he hadn’t been completely sober the last two times he had talked to David, which were the only times he had  _ willingly _ talked to him in years. He was suddenly a little nervous that it was going to feel different, that without the extra courage granted to him by various substances he was barely going to be able to speak.

He got to David’s building and texted,  _ im at the door _ , but as he hit send the door swung open and he heard, “Hi, Matteo.”

He looked up and saw David leaning against the doorframe smiling at him, wearing a pair of joggers and a shirt with the logo of one of the organizations on campus Matteo didn’t care about. 

“Hey,” he said with a smile, and thrust the sweatshirt into David’s chest, “I believe this belongs to you.”

David tilted his head to the side and grabbed it, immediately putting it on. They stared at each other for a moment before David cleared his throat and asked, “Would you like to come up to my room?”

Matteo’s eyes popped open. David was asking him to hook up, sober, in the middle of the day? Matteo had  _ class _ in an hour—he didn’t have the time, or quite frankly the time to mentally prepare, to hook up with David. David must have noticed the look on his face because he chuckled and shook his head a little.

“I didn’t mean like that. It’s just been a while since we really talked, and I have some time before I have to leave, and well… you’re here.”

David rubbed the back of his neck as his cheeks got a little pink, and Matteo smiled at the fact that he seemed a little nervous, too. He nodded, and David grinned before grabbing his hand (which Matteo’s eyes also popped open at, but luckily, David wasn’t facing him), and dragging him up the stairs. Matteo usually preferred the elevator, but he wasn’t going to complain.

  
They got to David’s room, and Matteo noticed that it looked a little different with the light coming in through the windows, and with sober eyes. He glanced around and saw a trans flag on the wall, with the pan flag right under it. He smiled at them before letting his eyes wander around the rest of the room, noting the random posters and sketches hung up on the walls. The walls themselves were mostly bare, but Matteo took a few steps forward so he could check out one of the sketches.

“I have some of my actual art hanging up in that room.”

David pointed at the room with the closed door, and Matteo smirked as his eyes glanced to the room that David wasn’t pointing at, and saw a corner of David’s bed. He only looked back when David walked up to the closed door and put a hand on the handle, and softly asked, “Do you want to see?”

“Oh. Uh, yeah. Sure.” Matteo hadn’t been expecting David to ask, but before he was even done speaking, the door swung open. Matteo walked in behind David and first noticed that the beds were separated and pushed to opposite sides of the room, so there was a big open space in the middle. Each bed was covered in various types of paper or notebooks or art supplies, and there were brushes and pencils and markers in cups on the two desks.

His eyes glanced up at the walls and his jaw dropped as he spun in place so he could see all of the art on the walls. David’s art was surprisingly more muted than his personality would have suggested, almost everything drawn in just black or blue, and what did have color only had one or two different shades.

“These are amazing.” Matteo finally said when he finally faced David again, and smiled a little when David blushed and rubbed the back of his neck again.

“Yeah, well. I don’t know. I’m an art minor so I  _ hope _ some of them are okay.” He said it with a bit of a self deprecating laugh, and Matteo rolled his eyes.

“ _ All _ of them are  _ great _ , even though they are a little sad.”

“I tend to put my more fun ones in that sketchbook.” David pointed again, this time to the only book sitting on one of the desks. Matteo raised an eyebrow and grabbed it, and settled on the chair at the desk to look through it. David pulled the other chair up next to him, and watched over Matteo’s shoulder as he flipped through the pages.

Most of them, Matteo figured out quickly, were more colorful drawings of different people. There was one of Sam wearing headphones, music notes swirling around her head. There was one of an RA named Amira and who Matteo quickly realized was the guy from the party, Mohammed, and Amira had on bright boxing gloves and a big grin that matched Mohammed’s. He turned the page again and saw a woman he didn’t recognize, with long curly hair, and some kind of large dog in her arms. 

Matteo was too in awe of the drawings to say much, but he hummed when he turned the page and saw a drawing of a girl with long brown hair and bangs, with literal hearts drawn in her eyes, staring at a blond girl who was grinning smugly.

“That’s my best friend Leonie, and her girlfriend Sara.”

Matteo snorted but then nodded, remembering his encounter with Leonie. He wanted to know what she had whispered to him at the party before David had seen him, but as he was about to ask, he looked down at his phone and saw the time.   
  


“Oh fuck, I’m going to be late for class!” He slammed the book closed and jumped up, grabbing his board and his backpack. He heard David chuckling behind him, and he turned once he had all of his things.

  
“Um, thanks for inviting me up. This was cool.” Matteo blushed a little at his ineloquent statement, but David just laughed and took a step forward until he was in Matteo’s space.

“Anytime, now that you’re talking to me again.” David smirked, and Matteo rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, let’s see how long  _ that _ lasts.”

Matteo gasped when David grabbed his hips and pulled him in close with a grin, and leaned forward to whisper in his ear, “I have a pretty good feeling about it.”

Matteo felt a wet kiss be pressed to his cheek before he was spun around and pushed towards the door, hearing a, “Have fun in class!” from behind him. He turned around to flip David off, and smiled at the resulting laugh.

“Good luck with your game, let me know if you guys win.” Matteo didn’t think about his words until they were already out of his mouth, and he bit his lip when David turned and smiled  _ wide _ at him.

“You’ll be the first one I tell.”

Matteo blushed before waving a little and opening the door, rushing out and down the hall to the elevator once he realized that he was  _ definitely _ going to be late for his class. He didn’t really find himself minding too much, even when his professor gave him a dirty look when he snuck in and sank into a chair in the back. He pulled his laptop out and opened it quickly, hiding his blushy, grinning face in his screen.

*****

Matteo didn’t see David in person for a good while after that. He figured that they were both busy with midterms coming up and they hadn’t exactly casually hung out before. Matteo didn’t even know if that was something they  _ would _ do if they had the time, but he didn’t mind not seeing David as much because they had started texting back and forth the night after Matteo gave him his sweatshirt back.

It had started when David texted him that his team won, and Matteo had responded with a congratulations and some dumb emojis. He didn’t expect to receive a text from David  _ again _ the next day when he was studying with Abdi, and he had had to hide his smile.

That continued for a few weeks, and soon it was the end of October and the middle of the semester. Matteo was lucky enough to have all of his midterms over with, and had been looking forward to a quiet weekend when, yet again, Jonas burst into the room and declared, “Dude, we’re going to a party.”

Matteo looked up from his computer with tired eyes and responded simply, “No.”

“No, dude, not tonight. People from UNITY and the drag club are having some kind of Halloween drag show tomorrow night, and we have to go, and costumes are required.”

UNITY was one of the gay clubs on campus that Matteo never bothered reading about, but the idea of a Halloween party did sound fun. He didn’t know much about drag, but knew that Jonas was friends with a good deal of people from both clubs and he had heard that they threw fucking  _ awesome _ parties.

“I’ll go, but I don’t have a costume. And I’m not spending money on one.”

“Dude, we can make them ourselves!”

That’s how Matteo found himself the next night, walking up to a house he had never been to before, wearing a green shirt and green sweatpants, with some kind of pipe cleaner and glue and pom pom  _ thing _ on his head that Jonas claimed was his “alien antennae”. They had only chosen for him to be an alien because he had the green clothes, and happened to own a shirt with the  _ NASA _ logo on it. Jonas was dressed as an emo kid, wearing a random band shirt they had found and a pair of black, ripped jeans. 

They weren’t the most elaborate costumes, but they would do. And as they approached the house, Matteo noticed that most people’s costumes were similar to theirs; cheaply and poorly made using materials that could be found around any student’s bedroom. Jonas knocked once they got to the door, and they were quickly ushered inside by someone with a colorful face of makeup and a prom dress on. 

Matteo was met with a scene unlike one he had ever seen before. The place was  _ packed _ , full to the brim with a mixture of people wearing costumes that were on the same level as his and Jonas’, and people with full faces of makeup and dresses and tuxedos, and some people who were barely wearing anything at all. Matteo laughed a little nervously when a girl with nothing but glitter on her tits and a thong on walked passed them, and he saw Jonas stare after her.

“Are you going to actually hook up with someone tonight?” He teased. It had become a joke (for him, at least, Jonas definitely didn’t love it), that Matteo had managed to hook up at every party so far that year and Jonas hadn’t been able to even once. Yeah, Jonas was able to rebuttal with the fact that Matteo was hooking up with his “sworn nemesis”, but at least he was hooking up with  _ someone _ .

They walked over to the table with the drinks, and Matteo made himself something with a surprisingly reasonable amount of alcohol. He and Jonas had taken hits off of their pen before leaving, and he thought that Jonas said they usually had weed at these parties, too. This was confirmed when someone with bright red hair shoved under a top hat and a fake mustache glued to their face walked up with a swagger and a smile, and placed a joint between Jonas’ lips. His eyes popped open and Matteo watched the whole thing with a surprised, but amused smile on his face.

“Come dance with me?” The person said, before tugging Jonas towards the glittery and colorful crowd. He turned towards Matteo with wide eyes and puffed on the joint a couple of times before handing it to Matteo and shrugging. Matteo watched as Jonas disappeared, and shrugged to himself before taking a hit off the joint.

_ It's just a jump to the left _

_ And then a step to the right _

_ With your hands on your hips _

_ You bring your knees in tight _

_ But it's the pelvic thrust _

_ That really drives you insane _

_ Let's do the Time Warp again _

Matteo let his eyes drag around the room, seeing if he knew anybody, but quickly gave up when he realized that most people were too dressed up or otherwise obscured for him to even be able to guess who they were. People were also dancing along enthusiastically to the music playing, and he snorted at the moves of the less sober people. He finished his drink and started to take another hit as his eyes swung up and, of course, he saw David.

His jaw dropped, and he had to catch the joint before it hit the ground. He luckily grabbed the side that wasn’t burning and put it back in his mouth, his eyes quickly finding David again. He could only really see his face through the people in the room, but he watched David take a sip of a drink, and laugh. He seemed to be talking to someone who looked a little too old to be a student, and Matteo froze when David’s eyes met his. He lifted the corner of his mouth in greeting, and smiled fully when David started  _ beaming _ and making his way through the crowd, dragging his friend behind him.

“I didn’t expect to see you here.” David sounded thrilled, and Matteo smiled before he let himself look down to see what David was wearing, and when his eyes moved down David’s body he felt himself go bright red, and he had to take the joint out of his mouth so he wouldn’t choke on it.

David was wearing what Matteo  _ assumed _ he usually wore to his soccer practices, but… a much less appropriate version. His shorts were only down to about mid thigh, looking like the bottoms had been cut off, and the sleeves of his dark blue shirt had been cut too, the holes extending from the shoulder down to under David’s ribs. He also had blood around his mouth that Matteo hadn’t noticed at first, and shiny vampire fangs poking out. Matteo had been so surprised to see David that he hadn’t even gotten a good look at him, but now… now he had gotten a look. And David  _ knew _ that he was looking, Matteo could tell because his head was tilted to the side and he had a small, pleased smile on his face.

“Um,” he stuttered out after realizing that he had just been  _ staring _ , “Jonas brought me.”

“Oh yeah, I saw him making out with Hanna in another room. I wanted you to meet the host of this party though, this is my friend Hans.”

Matteo looked at Hans, and couldn’t quite figure out what he was meant to be. He was wearing something skin tight that was shimmery and rainbow, with a pattern like fish scales, and his face was painted similarly, his lips bright yellow.

“Hello, darling, welcome to the House of Hans! What exactly… are you dressed as?”

Matteo looked down at his outfit, suddenly feeling both under and over dressed. He looked back up and saw David’s eyes jump back up to his face, and he smiled a little at the fact that David was checking him out, despite his outfit being probably the most boring one in the house.

“Um, I’m supposed to be an alien, but I’m not super creative, so….” His sentence trailed off and he shrugged a little, not looking away from David. He knew it was extremely rude, and that it might have been kind of important that David wanted to introduce him to one of his friends, but he didn’t really care. David was staring back at him just as hard, the same smirk on his face.

  
  


“Creativity has nothing to do with it! Mr. Art Minor over here,” Hans gestured exasperatedly at David, “was going to just go as a  _ soccer player _ . He got here and I just  _ had _ to do something about that. Nothing some scissors and fake blood and teeth couldn’t fix!”

Matteo chuckled a little before looking down at David’s costume again, and he looked up and finally faced Hans as he asked, “So, what exactly is he now?”

“Instead of being a boring old soccer player, now he’s a sexy  _ vampire _ soccer player! He’d be sexy no matter what he was wearing, but I believe my quick-thinking really pulled the whole look together.”

Matteo just nodded, looking back at David. David was looking back at him with a challenging tilt to his head, and Matteo tilted his head in response. He barely noticed when Hans chuckled a little and ran his hand down David’s arm, before turning and calling, “Have fun, boys!” over his shoulder.

The second Hans was gone, David snatched the joint out of Matteo’s hand and brought it up to his own lips, inhaling quickly. Matteo’s eyes grew wider as David slowly backed him against the wall, and leaned in. David brought his hand up to rest on Matteo’s jaw and used his thumb to part Matteo’s lips before he was leaning even  _ closer _ , and then he stopped less than an inch from Matteo’s face, and started blowing the smoke into his mouth. 

Matteo was too shocked to do anything besides stand there and breathe in, and he tried to lean in to close the distance between their lips as he breathed out his nose, but David pulled away and grinned a little loose before saying, “I like your costume.”

Matteo laughed a little in surprise, his head floating pleasantly, and he blushed as he looked down at himself and stuttered out, “Jonas made me wear it. He was the one who told me to be an alien and made this,” he reached up and tugged on one of the pipe cleaners, “uh… thing.”

“It’s cute,” David said, reaching up and flicking one of the pom poms before looking back at Matteo and saying, “ _ you’re _ cute. In fact, I think you may be the cutest alien I’ve ever seen.”

Matteo was glad he was still leaning against the wall because his knees went a little weak at that, and he could feel a dumb smile grow on his red face. He bit his lip and let his eyes drop to scan over David’s body again, licking his lips as they came back up to stare into David’s again. Matteo giggled a little, internally blaming the weed, and said with a cheeky grin, “Your costume is kind of dumb.”

David gasped in faux anger and slapped a hand to his chest, and Matteo giggled again as David took a small step closer, until their chests were almost pressed together, and he only  _ stopped  _ giggling when David lifted one of his arms up and flexed, and tilted his head and asked, “What, you don’t like it?”

Matteo ignored the smirk on David’s face as his jaw dropped a bit, and before he could stop himself he brought a hand up to squeeze David’s bicep. He let his fingers trace over the bulge of the muscle there, and took in a shaky breath before answering, “I didn’t say that.” 

David hummed and lowered his arm, his hand coming to rest on Matteo’s waist. He felt David’s thumb rub over the hem of his shirt before it was pushing under it, and stroking across the skin of Matteo’s hip.

_ Oh, yeah, under the kitchen lights _

_ You still look like dynamite _

_ And I wanna end up on you _

_ Oh, don't need no place to go _

_ Just put on the radio _

_ You know what I wanna do _

He watched as David turned and got someone’s attention and handed the joint off, and when he turned back around he grabbed Matteo’s hand and yanked before saying in a low voice, “Let’s go.”

Matteo rolled his eyes and blushed (two actions he found himself doing a  _ lot _ around David), and let himself, yet again, get dragged through the house. The walk back to David’s building was just as short as the walk from Carlos and Abdi’s, but Matteo found himself worrying about David getting cold. He was a little cold himself, and he was at least wearing pants. David didn’t seem to notice the cold, though, and soon Matteo was pressing David against the wall just inside his room, all of his worries forgotten.

Matteo wasn’t really trying to take control, he was just hard and panting and desperately wanting his hands on David’s skin. He slid one of his hands into the wide hole in David’s shirt and dragged it up his chest to grab onto his shoulder, and was grateful to see that David had taken the fake fangs out of his mouth as he tugged David into a kiss that was messy before it even really started. 

Matteo was moaning into it quickly, already ridiculously on edge from all of the eyefucking at the party. He could tell David was too, as he had one arm tightly hooked around Matteo’s waist, his other hand scratching at the shorter hair at the back of Matteo’s head. Before Matteo could tell himself not to, he was sliding out of David’s grip and dropping to his knees on the floor, breathing hard as he glanced up at David through his eyelashes. 

David’s jaw dropped and his hand immediately started carding through Matteo’s hair, throwing aside the stupid pipe cleaner structure on his head, and Matteo leaned forward to nuzzle his face into David’s thigh before looking up again. He slid his hands up David’s thighs and grabbed at the waistband of his shorts, tugging a little.

“Fuck,” David said, his voice shakey as he pressed his back flat against the wall, “go ahead, baby.”

Matteo didn’t hesitate before yanking David’s shorts and underwear down to his ankles. Before David could kick them off, Matteo was already nudging his legs apart and shoving his face between David’s thighs. He heard David’s head slam back against the wall and a quiet, “ _ Shit _ ,” as he started moving his tongue, and he pulled back after a second to let David step out of the shorts. He was panting already and once David’s feet were back on the ground he was tugged back in by the hand David had in his hair.

Matteo wasn’t the most coordinated, but he hoped his passion was making up for his less than experienced movements. David didn’t seem to mind, with the way his hand was clenching in Matteo’s hair with his eyes tightly shut, his bottom lip between his teeth. Matteo’s eyes closed when David’s leg hooked over his shoulder, which spread him open even more, and he opened his eyes again and had to stop to take a breath when David brought a hand up to his own mouth and bit down hard on it. 

David made a noise when he pulled away and he felt a sharp tug at his hair that made his hips thrust forward into nothing, and he tilted his face up to look at David. His eyes were dark as they stared down at Matteo’s flushed face, and Matteo watched his swollen lip slide out from under his teeth so he could say, “Fuck, you look good on your knees.”

Matteo whined and nudged back between David’s thighs, bringing a hand up so he could start using his fingers, encouraged by the choked off noise David made when he started pressing one in. David’s hips were rolling against his tongue and his hand, and before Matteo knew it, David was holding his head still as he moaned low into his hand, and Matteo was pushed away as David collapsed back against the wall, breathing hard. 

Matteo stayed on his knees until he felt David grab his hand to pull him up, and he got up on shaky legs. David was still leaning against the wall, chest heaving, but he tugged Matteo closer and pulled him in for a kiss. Matteo made a noise and and tried to pull away to at least wipe his face off, but David didn’t seem to care as he licked around Matteo’s lips and chin, before shoving his tongue into Matteo’s mouth with a quiet moan.

David pulled away and he left little bites across Matteo’s jaw as he licked a spot on his neck before biting down, sucking a mark into the skin. Matteo rolled his eyes a little but didn’t complain, and even let out a little noise when David moved to spot under his ear and sucked a hickey there too. David finally pulled away after sucking two more bruises into his skin, and he panted into Matteo’s ear. 

“Baby, let’s go to my room,” David said, his voice a little rougher, as he brought a hand down so he could rub the tip of his finger over where Matteo’s dick was tenting the front of his sweatpants, “I have  _ plans _ for you.”

Matteo gasped a little at the tone of David’s voice and tried to chase the feeling of David’s finger, but before he could move his hips David was gently pushing him away so he could pull his shorts on again, and he grabbed Matteo’s hand and lead him to the bedroom. Once inside, David pushed Matteo up against the side of the bed and kissed him hard, his hand sliding down to squeeze Matteo’s ass before he pulled away quickly and said, “Take your clothes off, I want to see you.”

Matteo was so eager to get his shirt off that he got a little tangled, and glared and muttered a, “ _ Shut up _ ,” at David’s amused grin as he pulled it over his head. He shoved his pants and underwear to the ground and stepped out of each, resisting the urge to wrap a hand around himself. He didn’t need to, because David was crowding into his space again quickly, and he felt a finger drag up the side of his dick before David’s fingers curled around him.

He dropped his head onto David’s shoulder as he started slowly pumping his hand, and Matteo almost jumped when David leaned in to whisper in his ear, “ _ Fuck _ , I want to get my fingers in you so bad, baby.”

Matteo gasped as his hips thrust forward and his cock rubbed against David’s thigh, and he couldn’t stop himself from whining and rocking into the friction more before David grabbed his hips to still him, and he asked, still into Matteo’s ear, “Would you want that, baby? Me fucking you with my fingers? I can’t get it out of my head, I think you’d sound so good.”

Matteo bit David’s shoulder and whined when David moved his hand, bringing both up to Matteo’s cheeks so he could pull his head back to stare into his eyes as he said, “I need you to use your words, Matteo. Do you want to do that?”

Matteo started nodding before he quickly said, “Yes, fuck, please David,” and David smiled before turning to open a drawer next to his bed. Matteo climbed on and settled onto his back, and he saw David place a bottle of lube next to him before he was climbing on too, crawling forward until he was hovering over Matteo. 

David bent down to kiss him again, and Matteo heard the sound of the lube being opened and then closed, and then he moaned into David’s mouth as he felt slick fingers wrapping around his cock. David stroked him with his hand a few times, Matteo making small noises in the back of his throat, but he whined and rocked his hips when David let go. David shushed him, and Matteo whined higher when he felt a finger rub against his hole.

“Can I?”

Matteo nodded so fast that it made him a little dizzy, and he reached up to grip David’s shoulder as he whimpered out a string of, “Please, please, please….”

He only stopped when David slid his finger in to the first knuckle, and he rocked down onto it, glad that David dropped down half onto the bed and half onto Matteo so he could bury his face and muffle his moans in David’s shoulder. He scratched his nails down David’s back when he started moving his finger, thrusting it deep and slow before moving back so he could look down at Matteo and breathe, “You’re doing so good baby, can I use another?”

Matteo nodded and then let out a noise when David pulled his finger out, hearing the sound of the lube opening again. He quickly felt David’s fingers rubbing at his hole again, and he squeezed his eyes shut and let his jaw drop open as David pushed them in, and immediately curled them up and started rubbing.

“David,  _ fuck _ , there, fuck--” he cut himself off with a groan, and his eyes popped open when Davd’s other hand covered his mouth.

“Having a little trouble staying quiet, hm?” David asked with a grin, his fingers stilling and rubbing slow circles into the spot that was making Matteo’s hips stutter, “it’s okay, I got you, baby.”

Matteo moaned against his hand and then bit his lip when David moved it, and then moaned  _ again _ when David leaned in to press their lips together. He started licking into Matteo’s mouth as his fingers started thrusting again, and Matteo made a sound into his mouth and reached down to wrap his own fingers around his cock, his eyes closing as he started stroking up and down. David made an encouraging noise into his mouth and started moving his fingers faster, keeping them deep and pressing them against that one spot every time he moved, and Matteo found himself getting close  _ fast _ . 

He reached a hand up and gripped it in David’s hair as he thrust his hips down onto David’s fingers and up into his own fist, and soon he was letting out little whimpers into David’s mouth before he gasped and his hips stilled as he came, David’s fingers curling up and rubbing to work him through it. Heat was shooting through his limbs as he came all over both of their stomachs, and he was almost silent until he collapsed back against the bed with a final, shaky sigh.

He made a noise when David slowly pulled his fingers out, and he felt David kiss his cheek and then down his neck, and Matteo gasped and felt aftershocks roll through his body when he felt David’s tongue on his belly, lapping at the come that was there. He tightened the hand that was in David’s hair and laughed a little breathlessly, his dick twitching. Once his stomach was clean David pulled away, sitting back on his heels between Matteo’s legs. Matteo stared up at him with hooded eyes, his entire body shaking, and David made a noise and leaned down to kiss him. He tasted himself on David’s tongue and he felt himself shiver, and David pulled back again and looked down at him with a smile.

“Good?”

Matteo scoffed and kicked at David with an unsteady leg, and David dodged him, climbing off the bed. He watched David stretch, not remembering when David had taken his shirt off, and he felt his dick twitch again when he watched David drag a finger through the come on his stomach, before popping it into his mouth and sucking. David grinned around his finger when Matteo dropped his head back onto the pillows, and Matteo felt a kiss be placed on his stomach, and heard a quiet, “Be right back.”

He heard the door click shut behind David and he took a breath before sitting up, shaking his head at the floaty feeling that followed. He rubbed a hand over his face and down his still having chest before sliding off the bed, wobbling a little on his legs as he pulled on his underwear. He had to pause when the fabric rubbed over his still over sensitive dick, and he shivered a little as he heard the door open again.

David stood in the doorway, and he smiled as he walked into the room and up to Matteo, and pulled him in for sweet kiss.

“It’s really late, and pretty cold out,” David started in a quiet voice, pressing his chest up against Matteo’s and wrapping his arms loose around his waist, “it might be better if you stay here tonight.”

Matteo bit his lip, his face flushing, and he nodded. David smiled softly and leaned in to kiss him again quickly, before pulling away to kiss his nose, and then his cheek. Matteo slid out of his arms and walked towards the door, and he heard David climb into the bed. Matteo washed himself up quickly and grinned in the mirror at the new hickies on his skin before going back into David’s room. David was on his back typing something very aggressively on his phone, and Matteo tilted his head to the side before asking, “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, just an email I needed to answer. Do you want to turn off the light?”

Matteo nodded and pressed the button, and the lights in the room went out. He heard David shuffle around a little and then a quiet, “Ah ha!” as LED lights that Matteo hadn’t noticed before turned on, bathing the room in low, blue light.

Matteo climbed into the bed and settled on his back, with about a foot of space between him and David. He didn’t want to assume anything, and as far as he was aware, David never invited people to stay over after hook ups. He had to remind himself that David also didn’t hook up with people more than once, so the fact that he had just spent a third night in David’s bed already meant that he was a bit of an exception.

He heard David turn, and his eyes darted to the side, and he flipped onto his side when he saw that David had done so. They stared at each other in the soft light for a moment before David smiled a little and whispered, “We can cuddle, if you want.”

Matteo didn’t say anything before scooting as close as he physically could, and David chuckled as he turned onto his back again. Matteo curled into his side, burying his face in David’s neck, and wrapping an arm around his waist. He felt David’s hand drop heavy onto his back and rub up and down his spine, and Matteo felt his eyes drifting closed before he wanted them to. He nuzzled into David’s neck and sighed. 

“Thanks for letting me stay over. And thanks for… this.” Matteo whispered, rubbing his nose into David’s skin to emphasize what he meant. He smiled when David squeezed him tight.

“No need to thank me, I fucking  _ love _ cuddling, and it would’ve been shitty of me to make you walk back.”

Matteo just hummed, cuddling closer into the warmth of David’s skin. He inhaled deep through his nose, and let his eyes shut as he fell asleep.

******

Matteo was woken up the next morning when David slid out from under him, carefully unwrapping Matteo’s arms from around his body. Matteo whined a little in his half-asleep state and rubbed his face into the pillow, already missing David’s warmth.

“Sorry, I have a meeting I need to get ready for. I have a bunch of shit to do after that, too, so I’m probably not getting back here for a while. Feel free to stay, though.”

Matteo hummed into the pillow and let his eyes droop closed again. He drifted in and out of sleep as David got ready around him, and he woke up for a final time when David patted his ass lightly, and kissed the back of his neck. Matteo groaned a little and turned around so he could pull David into a real kiss, a little sloppy, but real and long and sweet. David pulled away after a minute and leaned his forehead against Matteo’s before leaning in to kiss him one more time, and said, “I really have to go. I hope you have a good day, and maybe text me later?”

Matteo nodded and David smiled before grabbing his backpack, and Matteo laughed when he blew a kiss as he left the room. Matteo yawned and slid out of the bed after letting himself lie there for a while, and he looked around the room a little as he pulled his clothes on. He wasn’t desperately excited for his walk of shame back to his building, but despite that and the tiredness still filling his body, he was smiling. He laughed in slight disbelief when he saw a large, weekly calendar on David’s wall, each column filled completely with meetings and practices and programs and classes and games. He shook his head, wondering how David found time to go to parties and hook up with people, and slipped his shoes on.

He walked out of David’s bedroom after making sure he had everything, and noticed something on one of the couches in the main area of the suite. He walked over to it and laughed when he saw a note next to it that said,  _ It’s cold out, blah blah blah. _ He unfolded the hoodie and slipped it on quickly, and walked out of David’s suite, a grin on his face and a blush on his cheeks.

*****

It was disappointing, but Matteo didn’t get to see David again before winter break. They texted everyday but both were too busy with finals and everything else that David was doing, and just couldn’t manage to find time to meet up. There were way fewer parties being thrown too, so despite their best efforts, Matteo found himself sending a solemn,  _ good bye, mr cullen _ text as Jonas pulled out of the parking lot.

Matteo wasn’t looking forward to the break. He wasn’t looking forward to spending almost an entire month with his dad, even though he had been informed that he was going to be alone for a week when his dad had a business trip. He was planning on cooking a lot, and playing a lot of video games, and doing his best to avoid his father. He was also, now, planning on texting David a lot. That hadn’t been one of his initial plans, but considering they were texting everyday, he figured it would be good to factor that in.

He knew he would see Jonas too, and probably spend a few nights at his place. He was thinking about Jonas’ mom’s cooking as they pulled onto the highway, and Matteo watched the snow-covered trees roll past the window. He plugged his phone into the aux cord and flipped through his songs, and he ignored the look Jonas shot in his direction as he started playing one, and sunk into his seat and closed his eyes. 

_ Oh love, oh love _

_ Won't you rain on me tonight? _

_ Oh life, oh life _

_ Please don't pass me by _

_ Don't stop, don't stop _

_ Don't stop when the red lights flash _

_ Oh ride, free ride _

_ Won't you take me close to you? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no CLUE when the next update is coming but it will come!!!! i promise!!!!!!! ive already got most of it written!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> you can find me [here](https://shhhhyoursister.tumblr.com/) if you wanna send me stuff or talkl to me or whatever and you an find my amazing editor yon [here](https://chlouais.tumblr.com/)!!!!!!!
> 
> be well friends <3


	4. everything that i want, i want from you, but i just can't have you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Everything okay?” David asked, turning his head so he could look at Matteo with furrowed brows._
> 
> _“Yeah, just my dad texting me. It’s fine though, I’m just not gonna think about it for now.” Matteo said the last part quickly, hoping that David would let the subject drop. _
> 
> _“Hmm,” David hummed, and was quiet for a moment before suddenly asking, “are you cold?”_
> 
> _Matteo snorted, and shoved his hands that were already in his sleeves deep into his pockets, and shrugged, before saying, “Only a little. It’s okay.”_
> 
> _David hummed again before Ladybug stopped and started sniffing intensely at a spot of grass, and Matteo tilted his head when David dropped her leash and stepped on it immediately, before taking his beanie off. Matteo wanted to protest but before he could, he felt the hat being tugged onto his head, and David swept the hair out of his eyes and down to pick the leash up again._
> 
> _“You didn’t need to do that.” Matteo said quietly as they started walking again, and he smiled a little when David shrugged._
> 
> _“Your ears were turning pink, I didn’t want them to freeze and fall off. They’re cute.”___

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys i know its been literal months since i uploaded but i really hope the fact that the chapter is almost 16k makes up for it???????? also ya know like,, the content and all that!!!!!
> 
> fic title:"only of you" by green day  
chapter title: "stray heart" by green day  
"jinx" by green day  
"macy’s day parade" by green day  
"rest" by green day

Being home hadn’t been as bad as Matteo was expecting, at first.

They had gotten to Matteo’s house with a few hours to spare before his dad got back, so once all of his stuff was shoved in his room, he dug through his bag until he found his oil pen. He handed it to Jonas with a grin, and then quickly walked to the kitchen and opened the door to the fridge. He let out a satisfied sigh when he saw that there was actually food in it, and started pulling out ingredients, calling to Jonas, “Hey dude, I’m going to make us food!”

He laughed when he heard Jonas cheer in response, and turned to take the pen when Jonas walked into the room. He took a hit and blew it out through his nose as he put his phone on the counter and rolled his sleeves up. Jonas took his usual seat at the table and they started chatting as Matteo grabbed a cutting board and knife.

He knew that cooking probably wasn’t the safest activity to do while high, especially considering how much chopping was involved and how  _ fast _ Matteo liked to chop, but he was well-practiced and he hadn’t cut himself yet, so there was really no harm.

“What are you making? Something Italian?”

Matteo turned so he could fix Jonas with an unamused look and grabbed the pen out of Jonas’ hand. He put it between his lips and let it hang there as he turned to chop a tomato, ignoring Jonas’ protests. He kept it in his mouth as he used the knife to slide the chunks of tomato to the other side of the cutting board, and started chopping an onion. He chuckled around the pen when he saw Jonas drop his head onto the table, and finally took a hit once the onion was chopped. 

“I’m just making pasta.”

“Oh fuck, dude! Are you making pasta alla Luigi?”

  
  


Matteo nodded as he dumped everything in a pot to make a quick sauce, and once it started bubbling he opened a cabinet and started looking through to see what pasta they had. Just as he pulled out a box of premade pasta and was about about to start lamenting the fact that he didn’t have the ingredients to make gnocchi, Jonas spoke. 

“Dude, you got a text. From… _ Edward Cullen _ ? Who the fuck is that?”

“Um,” Matteo said, quickly spinning to face Jonas, his face already bright red, “you know, the vampire from  _ Twilight _ ?”

Jonas rolled his eyes and looked at the screen of Matteo’s phone, and Matteo was too shocked to do anything as Jonas read out, “‘ _ Hey, let me know when you get back safe, I’ll see you in a month Ms. Swan _ ’ and then there’s a wink emoji. Bro, this is David. I’m not fucking stupid.”

“It’s not- it’s,” Matteo stuttered over his words before sighing and flopping his body into the chair next to Jonas, “okay, yeah. It’s David. We text sometimes.”

“You  _ text sometimes _ ? Dude!”

“What? People text, Jonas, it’s not some fucking crazy thing.”

“Yeah, but since when does David Schreibner hook up with someone multiple times, and then text them after? I think he’s into you, dude.”

Matteo scoffed at the idea that someone like David would be  _ into _ someone like  _ him _ , and he grabbed the pen off the table and took a deep hit instead of responding. It was honestly funny to think about; David Schreibner, star athlete and student and everyone’s favorite RA, feeling anything other than a basic lust for Matteo Florenzi. Matteo Florenzi, a stoner skater boy with a shitty GPA, who didn’t even really know what it felt like to be liked by someone. 

“There’s no way. I guess I’m just that good of a fuck,” Matteo snorted when Jonas rolled his eyes, but then sighed and continued, “I don’t know dude. He’s nice, he lives up to the hype. Talking to him is cool. I’m just going with it. I wouldn’t say that we’re into each other, though.”

Jonas hummed, and they sat in the silence for a bit until the timer beeped. Jonas  _ moaned _ when Matteo stirred a spoon around the pot and the smell of the sauce wafted out, and Matteo chuckled a little before grabbing the other pot full of pasta, and draining it into the sink. He set it back on the stove, and started scooping the sauce into the pasta.

“You’re not into him?”

Matteo had been hoping that the food would be enough to move the conversation away from the topic of him and David, but he was obviously wrong. He rolled his eyes as he started mixing the pasta and sauce together, and said with his back still to Jonas, “I don’t know dude, does it matter? I’m not pining after him. Whenever he decides to cut this off I won’t be _ heartbroken _ .”

And it was only a little bit of a lie. He really wasn’t expecting any kind of romcom ending to his and David’s situation; he knew that they were just hooking up, and he was okay with that. But he also knew when the day came that David called it off--because he got bored of Matteo, or wanted to go back to his usual ways, or he found someone else--Matteo would be disappointed to lose whatever it was that they had. He knew that the biggest lie of all was not answering with a definitive, enthusiastic “ _ YES I AM _ ” to Jonas’ question.

After that, the conversation moved on quickly because the front door to Matteo’s house started shaking, and they both turned to watch as it was pushed open and Matteo’s dad came inside.

“Oh, Matteo, I didn’t know you were coming back today,” he said, hanging his coat up, “and Jonas, long time no see!”

Matteo waved and quietly said, “Yep, I’m back,” ignoring the fact that he had told his dad the date he was coming home at least three times the last time they spoke, and he finished serving the pasta as Jonas tried to pretend like Matteo’s dad even remembering his name wasn’t surprising. The vibe in the house changed the second Matteo’s dad had entered, and the two boys ate their food quietly at the table, and Jonas left when they were finished with a small, sad smile and a tight hug. 

He wandered into the living room where his dad had settled on the couch, some random detective drama playing on the TV. He shuffled his feet awkwardly in the entrance, waiting for his dad to say something, and his eyes finally drifted over and he sat up a little before asking, “So, uh, how was your semester?”

Matteo made it through the brief question and answer session as quickly as he could, knowing that it was going to happen eventually. Once his dad seemed satisfied enough he sped to his room and closed the door behind him, locking it and leaning against it with a sigh. He was going to have to get used to that again.

*****

Matteo settled into a new routine pretty quickly as he adjusted to being home. He had realized that he always needed a couple of days to remember how to exist in a house again, almost feeling like a guest until he got comfortable. It  _ was _ nice not having to wake up for classes, and to have his own room and access to a stocked kitchen, but not having Jonas and his other friends around had him feeling kind of lonely.

Every day, Matteo would wake up whenever he felt like it, make sure his dad wasn’t home, and grab his oil pen and take a hit. He would wander lazily to the kitchen and yank the fridge door open, and pick something to make himself for his first meal of the day (never quite breakfast, never quite lunch). He loved chopping up random ingredients and cooking them in different ways to see the outcome, and everything he made always tasted better because of how much he enjoyed making it. 

He would eat his food and then settle on the couch to watch something or play video games. While at school he had missed having a big TV to hook his computer or consoles up to, having gotten used to the small one he and Jonas had bought off another student their first year for $50. Sometimes he and Jonas would play games online together, and Matteo would be extra glad that his dad wasn’t home to hear him loudly cursing at Jonas anytime he lost. He got past levels in video games that he had been stuck on for months, and tried to let that momentary joy cover for the fact that he was fucking  _ lonely _ .

Matteo had always been good at entertaining himself when he was alone, despite how he felt about being alone, and aside from the few times Jonas came over to hang out, Matteo was alone in the house until his dad came home from work. And even then he would talk to him for a few minutes before his dad would inevitably ask him to make dinner. He’d do so as quickly as he could (or he’d just reheat leftovers on days he didn’t care enough), and then take his plate to his room.

He and the boys would talk in the groupchat, but much less often than they did during school. The others were all busy with their families, and Carlos and his girlfriend Kiki were trying to make post-college plans, and Matteo didn’t want to be the only one talking everyday. He would wait until someone else said something and would hop into the conversation, texting Jonas separately if he had something to say.

He  _ really _ hadn’t been expecting David to keep texting him over the break. They had casually slipped into each other’s online worlds a little more, liking Instagram posts and even adding each other on Snapchat, and those interactions only increased as the break went on, in addition to the texting.

Almost everyday Matteo would wake up to some kind of text from David, always something funny about something that happened to him that morning. Matteo would text him back before even getting out of bed, and David would almost always text back right away. 

The most surprising part to Matteo was that the texting was completely innocent, for the first week or so. Not that he was expecting to be sexting David for hours each day, he hadn’t been expecting to be texting David at all. Before the break started he had wondered, somewhere in the back of his head, if David was the type of guy who would text  _ hey, you up? _ at three in the morning (you couldn’t blame him, considering David’s reputation), but he was pleased to find himself instead waking up to texts that said  _ i almost got attacked by a squirrel on my way to the gym this morning. _

That’s not to say that the texts and didn’t end up getting flirty, eventually. It started late one night when Matteo was already lying in his bed, letting his stoned brain run in any direction it wanted. It tended to drift in the direction of David, so he smiled a little when his phone buzzed and he saw a text from David saying,  _ hey _ . 

He sent a  _ hey _ back, and saw the bubble pop up indicating that David was typing, and he quickly got another message asking,  _ what are you up to? _

He rolled onto his stomach and thought for a second before sending back  _ just chilling _ and then quickly sent  _ you? _ . He let his phone drop onto the bed and felt his stomach rumble, and he suddenly remembered that he had leftover pizza from dinner that night. He got up and went to his kitchen, quickly grabbing a slice and shoving a third of it in his mouth as he walked back to his room and collapsed onto his bed, grabbing his phone again.

He had three texts waiting for him, and he smiled as he read them over. First David had sent,  _ same, im super bored _ , quickly followed by,  _ i worked out today and then went to the dog park _ , and then finally,  _ now im just relaxing in bed _ . Matteo bit his lip, wondering where the conversation was going. Usually when they talked it was about something specific that one of them brought up, so he hesitated, confused, before sending back,  _ me too, im exhausted from getting high and playing video games all day. _

David sent back,  _ that sounds like more fun than my day _ . Matteo watched him type for a moment before the bubble went away, and then came back and his phone buzzed again with,  _ i wish i had been doing that with you instead of running around a field with a bunch of dogs _ . Matteo blinked, and read the text again. He tried to think of a response that didn’t sound too desperate but before he could come up with anything his phone buzzed again, and his eyes popped open when he read,  _ i wish i was there with you right now instead of here alone too _ .

Matteo’s face got darker, and he flipped back onto his back and ran a hand through his hair as he thought of how to respond. Before he could think about it too much he sent back,  _ that would be really nice _ , and locked his phone and put it face down on his blanket. He waited, tapping his fingers on his stomach, his half-eaten slice of pizza forgotten on the table next to his bed, and grabbed his phone the second it buzzed again. 

The simple  _ yeah? _ sent something tingling down his spine, and he hesitated before typing out,  _ yeah, it’s been really lonely here _ , and then deleting it all before sending  _ yeah _ followed by,  _ i wouldn’t mind some company. _ After thinking about it for a second he quickly added,  _ your company more specifically _ . 

David responded,  _ i can’t wait until the break is over and you’re within walking distance again _ , and Matteo’s heart rate jumped a bit reading it. He sent back,  _ me too _ , and frowned when David’s next message read,  _ shit my sister needs me to help her with something, i’ll text you tomorrow _ . He sighed at the abrupt end to the conversation and texted back, _ okay, good night _ , before locking his phone and sighing again.    
  


Their conversations went back to the same banter and random topics that would start when Matteo texted David things like,  _ i burned myself making caramel today but at least it tastes good _ or David sent,  _ oh my god ladybug completely destroyed one of my sister's shoes and she’s freaking out _ . And then, every few nights, there would be another text along the lines of those that one night; texts that would seem more innocent first, and then David would say  _ something _ that would make Matteo blush, and it would continue until David cut it off saying that he was tired, or needed to shower, or his sister was calling him. 

While it was always disappointing whenever David said he had to go and the conversations themselves were making Matteo think about David in ways that he had been trying to avoid, he would always play into them. He had missed David’s flirting, and even though it wasn’t really leading anywhere, he didn’t want to stop.

The tease of the flirty texts combined with the fact that they never progressed in the direction he hoped for added something new to his break. He would spend all evening wondering if he was going to get a  _ hey _ text or not, checking his phone constantly, even when he was playing games online with Jonas or lying in his bed late, late at night, trying to stop himself from thinking about David but not succeeding.

More than anything, Matteo was looking forward to the last week of the break. His dad was leaving for one of his business trips on Sunday morning, and he would be gone until the Friday before Matteo had to go back to school. He was going to have a full six days to himself, and he knew he was going to spend it the same way he had the rest of his break. He was excited though, because he wasn’t going to have to worry about the awkward aura in the house whenever his dad was home.

It wasn’t that his dad was awful, or anything. He just had no idea how to talk to his son, and never made an effort beyond asking how his classes were going and if he had enough money. And Matteo really didn’t care too much about that, but it was going to be nice to be able to relax outside of his room. 

He spent the first few days allowing himself to be as careless as he wanted. He would cook whatever he wanted for each meal whenever he wanted it (even pulling out the one recipe book that was buried deep in his closet that made his heart ache a little when he opened it), piling the plates in the sink to soak and only washing out the pots and pans he knew he’d need to use again. When the heating in his house got too warm he’d whip his shirt off and throw it on the floor next to the couch, and there were bags of chips and crumbs all over the table.

He spent almost the entire time either in the kitchen or on the couch with his oil pen hanging out of his mouth, and found himself falling asleep on the couch the first night because he got so distracted watching a movie on the big TV in his living room that he didn’t realize how exhausted he was. He was having a great time, feeling more free and comfortable in his house than he had since his dad’s last business trip. 

He should’ve guessed that his week wasn’t going to be as chill as he was expecting when on Tuesday night, after Matteo had collapsed on the couch post-dinner, lying on his back with a hand on his stomach, he heard a noise. Some shuffling, and then the doorknob jiggling. He lifted his head up and stared at it in a high, confused daze for a moment before he heard a key, and at that sound he launched himself off of the couch. He ran to his room and threw his pen onto the floor, and as he watched it roll under his bed, he heard the door swing open.

“Matteo? I’m back!” He heard his dad call into the house in his usual apathetic Italian, and then heard a few footsteps, a loud, frustrated sigh, and then a louder, “Matteo!”

Matteo took a deep breath in before walking into the living room, where he saw his father standing, his arms crossed, facing the kitchen. There was an obvious mess on the counters and the table, and a stack of plates and other things in the sink that looked a little precarious. Matteo felt his whole body tense as his dad turned to face him, almost no emotion on his face other than a slight twitch of his eyebrows.

“Matteo,” he started in a voice that Matteo  _ knew _ wasn’t good, “do you have a good explanation for why the house is in this state?”

Matteo looked into the kitchen as his breath sped up, and then around the rest of the house that he could see. His hands started shaking as he took in  _ just _ how bad it was, and he started stuttering as his eyes locked onto his father again, who was standing there with the same look on his face, the only difference being a slight twist of his lips. 

“You’re back early,” Matteo finally got out, and his father raised an eyebrow, and before he could speak Matteo rushed out, “I promise, I was going to clean it all tomorrow!”

“And then? What? Let it get disgusting again while you lazed around for the next three days?” his father pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath, before continuing in a calmer voice, “You could have taken an hour of your time to clean, or done it the way  _ I _ taught you and cleaned while you were cooking.” 

Matteo took in a breath of his own and said, “It would have all been cleaned by the time you got back.”

His father laughed a little and shook his head, “Well I’m back, Matteo. And it isn’t clean. But it will be, before you go do anything else tonight. I had been hoping for a nice, calm, evening back. I hope you made dinner, at least.”

Matteo watched as his dad walked farther into the kitchen and pulled the lasagna, that Matteo had made for  _ himself _ , out of the fridge, and slopped it onto a plate to heat up. He wasn’t even  _ doing _ it right. He felt his fists clench tight as he watched him grab a beer from the fridge next, and pop it open. His dad noticed him staring and tilted his bottle towards him.

“I’d start cleaning, kid. I’m going to eat in the living room so you can do the kitchen first. Remind me to teach you to be independent one of these days.”

The microwave dinged and his father grabbed the food out of it, cursing at the heat. Matteo felt the corner of his lip twitch, but it dropped the second his dad turned to face him, and rolled his eyes before settling down on the couch with a sigh. Matteo took a few steps, but stopped when he heard his dad clear his throat.

“Matteo? Can you bring my bags in from the car, first? You can just leave them on my bed.”

Matteo felt his jaw drop a little but he closed it before turning around, and he didn’t say anything as he walked past the couch, to the front door, and out to the car. He grabbed the bags with a huff and brought them into the house as quickly as he could, ignoring the strain on his arms. He had to stop himself from throwing them against the wall when he got into his dad’s room but he settled for dropping them onto the bed.

He stayed in the room for a minute, his breathing fast as his eyes flit from one thing in the room to another. He stared at the pictures on his dad’s dresser, seeing his grandparents, his aunts and uncles who never called, his cousins who he hadn’t seen since the last time his dad cared enough to take him to Italy. He felt his hands shaking and he looked down at them, and in a moment of sudden exasperation he slammed his fist down onto one of the suitcases.

He yelped a little and pulled his hand to his chest quickly, the side of his fist throbbing in pain. He felt a tear roll down his cheek and that was enough to make his arms drop to his sides. He grit his teeth before quickly wiping the tear away and walking out of the room.

He ignored his father on the couch and walked to his room, and made sure not to slam the door behind him. With shaking (and now one throbbing) hands he dug around until he found his earbuds and put them in. He opened Spotify and managed to pull up a playlist with his fingers trembling, turning the volume all the way up as he made his way back out to the kitchen. 

_ I fucked up again, it's all my fault _

_ So turn me around and face the wall _

_ And read me my rights and tell me I am wrong _

_ Until it gets into my thick skull _

_ A slap on the wrist _

_ A stab in the back _

_ Torture me, I've been a bad boy _

_ Nail me to the cross and tell me you have won _

_ I lost before I did any wrong _

Matteo started cleaning the dishes as the music in his ears drowned out all of the shit that his mind began screaming at him the second he heard the key in the door. He knew he should have been cleaning the whole time he was alone, that his excuse of “letting the dishes soak” would continue until the day his dad was supposed to get home, where he would’ve woken up with a start and had to clean the entire house. The worst part about everything was that his father was  _ right _ . 

He knew that the water was probably too hot because the steam was getting in his eyes and making them tear up, and he kept blaming the water when those tears spilled out and started running down his face. He felt them drop off his nose and leak into the fabric of his shirt, but there was no use wiping them off when there was sweat on his forehead too. 

The tips of his fingers were bright red and wrinkled when he was finally done with the dishes, and he moved on to scrubbing the counters. The cleaning spray he was using burned a little but Matteo was much more focused on the one spot of sauce that wouldn’t  _ fucking _ come off, and he scrubbed and scrubbed until all of the counters were completely spotless, the table too.

He moved on to the living room and had to take a deep breath before he started cleaning up the mess that had accumulated, conveniently right around the spot on the couch that his father was sitting on. He grunted when Matteo walked in front of the TV to grab a shirt that was on the floor, and Matteo bit his lip and picked everything else up as quickly as he could before going back into his room, again being careful not to slam it behind him.

He grabbed his pen off the floor and started sucking hard on it the second it was in his mouth, surprised that he could still press the button despite the tremors running through his fingers. By the time he was lying on his bed he had taken four hits and he could feel the shaking calm a little as his body slowed down, his brain getting a little clearer until he could hear his thoughts again. He turned the music down a little but let it keep playing, grateful that he was able to focus on that instead of the shitstorm around him. 

_ When I was a kid I thought _

_ I wanted all the things that I haven't got _

_ Oh, I learned the hardest way _

_ Then I realized what it took _

_ To tell the difference between _

_ Thieves and crooks _

_ Lesson learned to me and you _

It was about an hour later when he heard a knock on his door, and he lifted his head as his dad pushed into the room. He had a sour look on his face, and Matteo sat up slowly, his pen safely hidden in his hand under the blankets.

“Tomorrow, you’re going to clean out the fridge too. You waste way too much food, I’m not going to buy everything you ask for anymore, I’m not made of money. You need to think more, Matteo. Or maybe not more, but  _ better _ . Now go to bed, it’s late.”

He left the room without another word, and Matteo stayed frozen staring at where he had been standing. He felt his hands ball up into fists again, and he swung his legs over the edge of his bed and forced himself up. He had to take a minute when his head started swimming but once he was steady he grabbed a backpack and started shoving clothes and other essentials in it. He shoved his arms through a sweater and jacket and his feet into his shoes, and then sat on the edge of his bed.

His body was surprisingly still despite the panic that was rushing through him. He had only been in this position once before, late at night with a bag on his back and his body clothed to bear the chill outside, music loud in his ears. He hadn’t been still then; running away from home for the first time was a terrifying experience, even if he was just going to Jonas’ for a few nights when his dad had come home, suddenly and with the only explanation being  _ something is wrong with your mother _ . 

As he started thinking about that night, thinking about the week that had lead up to it with his mother getting progressively worse and worse and Matteo trying his best to keep them both afloat, his hands started shaking again. Thinking about how his mom had suddenly started acting like she had for those bad few months when he was a kid, where all she would do was lie in bed and stare at the wall. Thinking about how he had been the one to tell Jonas, who had told his mother, who had called Matteo’s father  _ somehow _ , who had then rushed back from Italy, that same fucking apathetic look on his face. How Matteo had come back home after a few days at Jonas’ to his mother gone, his father moving in, and a letter on his pillow with a long apology but no explanation.

He took his phone out of his pocket, his whole body shaking, and dialed Jonas’ number. He didn’t usually call, but he knew that  _ Jonas _ knew that meant it was an emergency. As it rang and rang against his ear Matteo started wondering why Jonas would be asleep already, and then wondering if he had lost his phone. The panic grew as a thought suddenly dawned on him, something that Jonas had told him but he’d forgotten in the haze of the weeks that had gone by that break.

Jonas was on vacation. He and his family were off  _ somewhere _ doing  _ something _ , and Matteo was on his bed, alone, suddenly hyperventilating. 

He didn’t have the guts to run away for real. He hated being alone, despite how often he liked to isolate himself. He had spent the rest of the break either alone or with Jonas, and whenever he was alone he was high, or cooking, or playing video games, or some combination of the three. The only reason he hadn’t felt as alone was because he had been texting--

Suddenly Matteo was hanging up the call. His hands shook for a new reason as he scrolled through his contacts, and he almost accidentally called some random girl from some random class before his finger pressed the right name, and he brought his phone up to his ear, his free hand frantically searching through his sheets to find his pen. He brought it to his lips and took a hit before the line crackled. 

“Matteo?”

“Um,” Matteo’s plan for what he was going to say disappeared the second he heard David’s confused voice on the other line, and he took a breath before saying quietly, “um. Hey. Sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize. Is everything okay? You sound… different.”

Matteo snorted a little and then sniffed as he closed his eyes and asked, “Different?”

“I didn’t want to say ‘like you’ve been crying’ but it sounds like you’ve been crying. Are you okay?”

Matteo laughed a little but it caught in his chest and sounded a little more like something else, so he quickly responded, “Um. I’m okay, I guess. Just some shit going on, I don’t even really know why I called, I can hang up if you were--”

“No, no, it’s okay. I’m just walking my dog, you didn’t interrupt anything.”

“Oh, sorry.” Matteo said quietly, 

“Stop apologizing, it’s okay. What’s going on? Why were you crying, Matteo?”

“Um,” he started again, and the genuine concern in David’s voice made it easier for him to continue, “my dad came back early, and, um. I fucked up a little and he’s really annoyed, and he kind of has a right to be because I could have been cleaning and maybe if I had done it the way  _ he  _ said to do it everything would have been okay. I don’t know why I’m calling, it really was my fault. I’m just being stupid, I should hang up. I was going to call Jonas but he didn’t pick up and now I’m just freaking out over my own stupid fuck up and I just don’t want to be here anymore but I can’t--”

“Matteo, baby, slow down. You need to breath, in and out, okay? Listen, like this.”

Matteo hadn’t even realized how tight his chest had gotten and he sucked in some air, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to focus on David’s quiet, steady breathing in his ears. After a little while he could feel his lungs moving on their own again, and he stopped forcing air into them as he opened his eyes.

“Sorry.”

“You really don’t have to apologize, it seems like you have a lot going on.”

Matteo smiled a little despite his wet eyes, and he felt his body relax the slightest bit as he joked back, “Wow, you sound like you’re an RA or something.”

“SRA,” David said with a little bit of a chuckle, before sighing and saying, “but really, Matteo. Do you want to talk? You said you were going to call Jonas, but you can talk to me instead.”

“Oh,” Matteo said, “um, I was going to ask him if I could come over, actually. It’s okay though, I forgot he was on a trip or something. I’ll be okay. There are only a few days left of the break, anyway. I just need to stop fucking up.”

He heard David hum into the phone, and it was quiet for a moment, but then he heard David take a breath before saying, “If you don’t want to be home, you can come here.”

“W-what?” Matteo stuttered, his eyes widening. 

“As long as you aren’t scared of dogs. Or sisters. Or um, I mean, my sister will be here too. And her fiancée. But if you need somewhere safe to stay, I can pick you up.”

“I mean, stuff here is fucking  _ shit _ but I’m safe. You really don’t need to worry about it.”

“Even if you’re physically safe, the offer is still there. I remember you saying that you live kind of near me, and I have a car, and a bed. I have to go back on Friday to start setting the building up for the next semester, but you can stay with me until then.”

  
Matteo opened his mouth and then closed it again. He had called David completely on impulse, not expecting or letting himself hope for anything other than his voicemail. He was shocked by his decision to call, shocked by the fact that David even  _ answered _ , and was shocked once again when he opened his mouth and quickly whispered, “Okay.”

Matteo gave David his address and then they hung up, David promising to be there in less than 15 minutes. His bag was already packed, and he was dressed, so he had less than 15 minutes to think about why the  _ fuck _ he had dialed that number, and why the  _ fuck _ David agreed to pick him up.

He took another hit as he waited, not realizing that the music had been paused since he had tried calling Jonas. His head was shockingly clear despite the silence and the adrenaline running through his body, but when he got the text that David was there, he started panicking again.

He knew it would be easy to get out of the house without his dad noticing, but he was terrified of actually  _ doing it _ . He had hated running away the first time, everything had been swirling through his head as he crept through his house in the dark, and it felt the same as he did it again. He knew that he wasn’t running away for good, but it was hard to remind himself of that while sneaking past his father’s room, staring at the pictures of himself as a kid on the wall.

He took a breath and pushed the door open carefully, stopping before the point he knew it would creak, and slipped out into the cold night. He looked and saw a car with its headlights on parked in front of his house, and he took another breath before walking towards it, quickly wiping the tears and snot off his face. His breath sped up as he approached the car and he bit his lip once he placed his hand on the handle, and quickly opened it.

“Hey,” David said, his already worried face growing more so when he saw Matteo, “you can put your bag in the back, if you want.”

Matteo didn’t say anything and pulled his backpack onto his lap as he sat in the passenger seat, barely looking at David as he felt a blast of hot air on his face. His breathing was steady but tight, and he quickly buckled his seatbelt and turned back to face the windshield.

“Matteo-”

“I don’t really want to talk right now.” Matteo was surprised at how assertive his quiet, shaky voice sounded, and he saw David bite his lip before he was pulling away from the curb. He ignored the music coming through the speakers of David’s car and put his earbuds in again, and turned the volume up as he curled his arms around his backpack and gripped it tight against his chest.

_ Hey, can you hear me? _

_ I'm calling your name _

_ Hello, or is this goodbye? _

_ The gleam in your eyes _

_ It troubles my brain _

_ Will I see it again? _

_ So I can rest my head _

He could tell that David was sneaking looks at him as they drove. It was difficult not to look over at him, and Matteo could tell that he had actually  _ missed _ being in his presence. It may have just been because he was out of his house, but he could feel himself calming down as the streetlights went by out the window, and just as they pulled up to another curb, he paused his music and turned so he could say a quiet, “Thanks. You really didn’t need to do this.”

David looked over at him and as their eyes met he put a hand on Matteo’s arm and he squeezed it as he said, “Why wouldn’t I?”

Matteo shrugged, breaking the eye contact, and let himself out of the car. They were parked in front of a small but pretty house, and Matteo could see another car in the driveway, and most of the lights off. He stared at it until David walked up next to him and tilted his head to the side. Matteo swung his backpack over his shoulder and, without thinking, stuck his hand out. David smiled at him, something small and a little sad, but grabbed his hand and led him up to the door, and stopped once they got there.

“So, my sister and her fiancée Linn are sleeping, but might wake up if--”

David was cut off by a loud  _ bark _ from inside the house, and then they heard more barking and a thud against the door. David smiled a little and pulled his keys out to unlock the door (Matteo frowned a bit when their hands disconnected), and pushed into the house, already whispering.

“Bug! Buggy, baby, it’s okay! It’s just me, and this is Matteo, you’ll like him! Just be quiet!” 

Matteo cocked his head to the side a little at the way David was talking to the dog in front of them as if she would understand, and he was shocked when she stopped barking, and sat at the ground in front of them, obviously sizing up Matteo.

She was a good size, her head coming up to about mid thigh on both of them. She was scruffy in some places, furry in others, and was a ridiculous combination of colors that Matteo didn’t think he had ever seen on a dog. Matteo wasn’t  _ scared _ of dogs really, but he had never interacted with one enough to know how to. He watched David ruffle the fur on her head and she looked up at him with her tongue hanging out the side of her mouth, but when Matteo shifted his bag higher on his shoulder her eyes snapped to him again, extremely alert.

“Uh, hi?” He said, when David said nothing, and he saw him smile a little out of the corner of his eye. The dog, Ladybug, eyed him more before getting up and walking over, sniffing the hand that David nudged him to put out. She looked up at him again and her tail wagged once before she was shoving her nose into his thigh, and Matteo looked up at David when she did it again.

“She wants you to pet her. I think she likes you, she doesn’t usually warm up to people so quickly.” 

Matteo patted the dog on the head before petting the way David had, and he smiled when her tail started wagging more. She licked at his fingers before turning and walking over to a bed in the corner of the room, and she settled into it after turning in a few circles and pawing at the blanket that was in the bottom. 

Matteo felt David’s fingers slip between his again, and heard him whisper, “Okay, I think we’re safe. Let’s go to my room.”

He was tugged in the direction of one of the doors, and he looked around at the pictures on the walls as they walked. He saw one of a younger David and someone he assumed was his sister, and he had to look away from the bright smiles on their faces. He was trying not to let himself freak out over the fact that he was in  _ David Schreibner’s _ house, and made a mental note to stop freaking out over  _ David Schreibner  _ anything. He was well past that point. 

David pushed the door open and Matteo’s jaw dropped as he looked around at the art that was on the walls and the plants that were placed in pots on the floor and on shelves and hanging off of hooks, at the mountain of multicolored pillows on David’s bed and the huge, blue, soft-looking blanket.

Matteo let his bag drop to the floor as he stood and glanced around, and David put his keys down on the table next to his bed before turning to face Matteo. He took a step forward, and then another when Matteo didn’t react and then more until he was standing in front of him. David tilted his head to the side as he took one more step closer, and Matteo couldn’t fight it anymore as he launched himself into David’s arms, wrapped his own tight around David’s neck, and shoved his face in David’s shoulder.

Arms wrapped around his waist just as he felt the tears start to leak from his eyes, and he wanted to apologize for crying into David’s shirt but he couldn’t through the sobs that were suddenly coming from deep in his chest. He hadn’t been expecting to cry again, but he couldn’t stop himself as the tears kept flowing and as his fingers clenched tight in David’s shirt. He could feel the soft puffs of air against the side of his head as David whispered to him, but he couldn’t make out any words, only hearing his own quiet, though loud in his own head, crying.   
  


He was able to calm himself down after a few minutes, and sniffled before pulling away and wiping the back of his hand across his face, not really caring how gross it was. He could see that the shoulder of David’s shirt was wet and he was about to apologize, but before he could David said, “Don’t worry about that, I was going to shower and change before bed anyway. Do you want to shower or anything? Have you eaten?”

Matteo shrugged and then said, “I ate. I really just want to lie down somewhere if that’s okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” David said, before squeezing Matteo’s hips and saying, “you can lie down in my bed if you want.”

Matteo nodded again, looking down at the floor and taking a deep breath. He bit his lip when David squeezed his hips again before pulling away, and he lifted his eyes to watch David grab a shirt and a pair of shorts out of his dresser, and he walked to the door and grabbed the knob as he said, “I’m gonna shower, but I’ll be quick, okay?”

David left and closed the door behind him, and Matteo was relieved to have a moment to himself. Being out of his house was making the tension in his shoulders drain a little, but being in a very new environment and suddenly surrounded by everything David was a little overwhelming. He took his jacket off with a shaky exhale, before sitting on the edge of the bed. He rubbed his hands over his raw eyes, and fell back against David’s blankets.

He must have fallen asleep because what seemed like barely a second later, David was waking him up with a hand resting on his hip, gently shaking him. He blinked his eyes open and saw David standing over him, smiling softly.

“Hey,” David said, moving away to put the clothes he had been wearing before in his hamper, before sitting on the bed next to Matteo’s splayed body “I know you said you didn’t want to talk, and we don’t have to right now, I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

Matteo closed his eyes but nodded and sat up so he was mirroring David’s legs-crossed position. He rubbed his eyes again and looked up when David cleared his throat a little. Before David could start, Matteo shrugged and said, “I can talk about it, I guess.”

“Only if you want to,” David said with another small, sad smile, “I know you said that you’re physically safe, but you just seem really shaken up.”

“Yeah, it’s just--” Matteo cut himself off and took a breath, before continuing, “it can be hard with my dad.”

David listened as Matteo gave a brief explanation of just how fucked up his parental situation was, and kept listening as he started talking about the break, and how his dad had ignored him the whole time unless he had something to be angry about, and how Matteo spent almost the whole time high or locked in his room to avoid the dead silence in his house that only got worse when his dad was home. He finished his rant with a long sigh, and a, “It’s stupid, I guess.”

“No, it’s not stupid, Matteo,” David said, reaching out and clamping a hand down onto Matteo’s knee.

“I mean, he never hits me or anything. He just doesn’t like me or give a fuck about me.” Matteo shrugged, indifferent to that fact. He had known for a long time.

“That still fucking  _ sucks _ though,” David said, with a little anger in his voice that made Matteo’s eyes widen, “it doesn’t need to be physical to hurt, and it seems like the way he treats you hurts.”

Matteo just shrugged again, his brain checking out of the conversation. He had already unpacked lots of baggage from his father, and wasn’t in the mood to get into it again. He took a breath and noticed that David’s fist was clenched where it was resting in his lap, and he scratched at the back of his neck before asking quietly, “Can I smoke here? I have my pen so it won’t smell or anything.”

David laughed a little, and nodded with a, “Yeah, sure,” and Matteo got up and stretched before reaching over and grabbing his bag. He realized he should probably change too, so he pulled out a pair of sweatpants and stood up.

“Can I- um, is it okay if I take my pants off?” He asked quickly, and then blushed when he saw David smile. He would have phrased it better but his head was still spinning from his roller coaster of a night, so he just sighed and lifted a corner of his mouth.

“Yes, it’s okay.” David said with a shrug, and Matteo was surprised at the lack of his usual flirting. He chalked it up to the fact that he probably looked like a wreck after having a fucking breakdown and running away from home, so he wasn’t offended. He changed into the pants quickly, and grabbed around in his bag until he found his pen. He turned it on and took a hit, and offered it to David as he breathed the vapor out his nose. 

“Laura’s going to kill me if she finds out about this, but,” David said, grabbing the pen and sticking the end in his mouth, “I don’t really care.”

Matteo snorted and watched David take a hit and cough a couple of times. He grabbed the pen back and took another hit of his own, and put the pen away when David shook his head after Matteo tried to hand it to him again. 

He climbed back onto the bed and sighed, flopping onto his back again. He felt David settle down next to him, and he turned his head to see him propped up on his side, staring at Matteo.

“You should sleep, you look exhausted.” David whispered, trailing one of his fingers down Matteo’s cheek, following the track of a long-dried tear.

“Are you gonna sleep too?” Matteo whispered back, and let out an almost relieved exhale when David smiled and nodded, and put his hand on Matteo’s hip to pull him closer. 

Matteo cuddled as much as he could into David’s chest, and sighed when David’s arm wrapped tight around his waist, and his other hand slid up into Matteo’s hair, his fingers sliding through the strands. Matteo wasn’t used to being held in such a tender way, especially after such an emotionally draining day, but he was still shocked when he felt tears welling up in his eyes again. He sniffled and rubbed his face into David’s shirt, quickly blinking the tears away.

“You okay? Comfortable? I have another blanket if you’re cold.” David offered, misunderstanding Matteo’s fidgeting.

“I’m comfortable, yeah. It’s fine. Let’s just sleep.” Matteo didn’t want to talk anymore, and was grateful when David just nodded and closed his eyes. They both fell asleep quickly, Matteo getting his first night of restful sleep in a month.

*****

When Matteo woke up the next morning it was because David was sliding out from under him, and he felt a kiss pressed to his forehead as his eyes slid shut again, and he fell back asleep when he felt a hand run down his back. He woke up again a little while later, alone, with a text on his phone from David that said,  _ hey, me and Laura are going to the gym, feel free to make yourself something to eat or you can wait and eat with us when we get back. make yourself at home. _

Matteo smiled at the text, ignoring the two from his father and one from Jonas asking him why he called, and he sleepily climbed out of the bed. He changed back into his pants from the night before and hesitated before grabbing the sweatshirt that was resting on the back of David’s desk chair. He slid his arms into it and zipped it up to his chin, closing his eyes at the warmth and the smell of David that wrapped around him. 

He left David’s room and walked to the kitchen, smiling at the note on the counter that said, in handwriting that was  _ definitely _ not David’s,  _ Matteo, Take whatever you want from the kitchen, and call David if you need anything. Don’t forget to say good morning to Bug, she’ll be mad if you don’t. -Linn _ . 

He smiled and started making himself coffee with the French press that was out on the counter, and his stomach growled as he yanked open the fridge. He looked through and realized that there was enough stuff for him to make a big, nice breakfast that would probably be ready just as David and Laura were getting back from the gym, and Matteo started pulling ingredients out and lining them up on the counter. He figured that he could at least cook for the people who had so graciously invited him into their home, and he smiled as he started thinking about just what to cook.

He settled on eggs with cheese and different vegetables, and French toast, and he decided to cut up some of the random assortment of fruit he saw in one of the drawers. He had just started chopping up a stalk of broccoli he had found when he heard a whine, and then rapidly approaching steps. He looked down just in time to see Ladybug sit at his feet, and look up at him as expectantly as a dog could.

“Uh...good morning?” Matteo said hesitantly, and smiled when she started wagging her tail and sniffing in the direction of the cutting board, “Oh, do you like broccoli too? Wait, can you even eat broccoli? Let me look it up.”

He put the knife down and knew that it was unsanitary to pet a dog as he was cooking, but he couldn’t help himself as he took his phone out of his pocket and started researching. He found a list of different things that were safe and unsafe for dogs, and he grinned when he saw that broccoli was fine. He held a piece above the dog’s head and she stared up at it, and Matteo snorted when drool started dripping from the sides of her mouth.

“Wow, dogs are gross,” he said, but dropped the broccoli and laughed when her jaws snapped around it immediately. He patted her on the head and she wagged her tail, and he washed his hands quickly before moving back to his cooking.

He spent a while making sure everything would be perfect, sauteing the onions and other veggies until they were the perfect texture for Matteo to pour the eggs in, and he stirred as he watched the French toast that was sizzling quietly in the pan. Ladybug stayed at his feet the entire time, and Matteo would toss her something every now and then (of course after checking to see if it was safe), and by the time the front door opened and she started barking like crazy, Matteo was throwing the last of the chopped fruit into the bowl on the table.

“Oh, there’s my baby girl! There she is! Look at her! I missed you, baby!” Matteo snorted when he heard David cooing at the dog, and put the plate of French toast on the table just as David came into the kitchen, sweaty and flushed, Ladybug at his feet and a woman behind him who was in a similar, sweaty state.

“Oh my  _ god _ , Matteo, did you cook all of this?” David asked, shrugging a bag off of his shoulder as he looked up at Matteo as if in awe. The woman standing behind him was looking over the food, nodding.

“This looks  _ amazing _ , David, don’t question it,” she said, and then shoved past David (who rolled his eyes and then focused them back on Matteo), and stuck her hand out as she said, “I’m Laura, David’s sister. If this food is as good as it looks, I'm going to kick David out and make you move in.”

Matteo laughed and shook her hand, quietly saying, “I’m Matteo. I hope this is good post-workout food, I just cooked what I could find.”

“I don’t even care.” Laura said, and before even taking her jacket off she grabbed a plate and started piling the food onto it.

“Hey,” David said, addressing Matteo as he took his sweatshirt off, and Matteo didn’t know why the obvious sweat stains on his tee shirt sent a shot of heat down his spine but it did, and he gulped when David grinned and said, “have a good time with my girl?”

Matteo looked down at where Ladybug was lying at Laura’s feet, trying to beg for some of the food that she was shoveling into her mouth. “I think she likes me because I was feeding her while I cooked.”

David laughed and sat down at the table, patting the seat next to him, and Matteo settled into it with a blush. They each took their own portions and started eating, and David  _ moaned _ when he took a bite of the eggs.

“Okay, David pack your shit. Matteo is moving into your room and becoming my personal chef.” Laura said, her mouth full of French toast. Matteo blushed more and laughed a little at the glare that David aimed towards his sister.

“Hey, that’s not fair! At least let me stay on the couch or something.”

“But then where would I sit and wait for Matteo to cook up all my fabulous feasts? No, you’re out of here. Just me, my fiancée, my dog, and my chef.”

“Buggy would be depressed if I left, I’m her favorite person here!”

“It seems like she likes Matteo just fine.” Laura said, looking down at Matteo’s feet. Matteo looked under the table and saw the dog sat in front of him, and when she noticed him looking she placed her head in his lap and whined.

“Fuck, you’re right, guess I’ll pack my stuff tonight.” David said with an exaggerated shake of his head, and Laura grinned triumphantly. 

“You could,” Matteo started, and then paused when both Schreibner siblings turned to look at him, but continued, “you can stay in the room with me, as long as you don’t mind me constantly smelling like garlic. If I’m going to be a chef, and all.”

David and Laura both snickered, and David stuck his hand out with a big grin and said, “Deal, I love garlic.”

“That’s surprising, Mr. Cullen.” Matteo quipped back quickly, but still grabbed onto David’s hand and shook. David rolled his eyes and squeezed Matteo’s hand before letting go.

“I’m not even going to ask.” Laura said, while shoving a strawberry in her mouth, and David and Matteo blushed a little as they each went back to their breakfast. 

Laura left again soon after, punching David in the arm and offering Matteo a smile as she ran out the door. David got up and started cleaning all of the dishes and pans from the morning. Matteo watched him for a moment in shock before stepping forward and putting a hand on his arm and saying, “Fuck, I’m sorry I didn’t clean. Move, move, let me do it.”

He tried to shove David out of the way, but David just laughed and said, looking down into the soapy water, “Don’t worry about it. You cooked, I’ll clean. That’s how we do it around here.”

Matteo bit his lip but let David nudge him away with his hip, and he leaned back against the counter and nodded once before saying, “So, I’ll be Laura’s personal chef, and you’ll be my personal dishwasher?”

  
“That works for me.” David said, turning his head so he could grin at Matteo. 

David showered after that, and then settled down next to the coffee table and started doing work. Matteo spent most of the rest of that day on his computer, watching random shit or playing video games. David had “some last minute RA stuff” to do (as he described it when Matteo asked), so Matteo lounged on the couch with his laptop on his stomach and his headphones on, occasionally glancing up to watch David as he painted each of his new resident’s names onto the  _ also _ hand-painted door tags. After a while Matteo noticed that he was watching David more than he was watching the show running on his screen, and he quickly shifted his eyes back and started the episode over.

They ordered pizza for dinner at some point after David got a text from Laura saying that her and Linn were both going to be out late, and Matteo laughed as he watched David go from telling Ladybug to leave the food alone, to offering her a piece of the crust, to feeding her the last half of one of the slices. He just shrugged and grinned when Matteo shot him a look. 

After another hour of Matteo forcing himself to pay attention to his computer and his computer  _ only _ (not including Ladybug, who was lying on the floor parallel to the couch, as Matteo had let a hand drop down to lazily pet over her back as he watched), David stopped painting, and stretched. When Ladybug noticed she quickly got to her feet and stood at David’s side, her tail wagging, and whined in his ear.

“Time for a walk?” David asked her, scratching behind her ear before turning to Matteo and asking, as he slid his headphones off, “do you want to come?”

Matteo nodded and closed his laptop without even pausing the video he was watching, and got up quickly to follow David to his room. They both put on heavy jackets and shoes, and on their way out David grabbed a beanie and slid it on over his curls. 

David grabbed a leash that was hanging on a hook by the door and shook it a few times, and Matteo heard Ladybug running before he saw her, sliding and crashing into David’s legs. Matteo let out a loud, shocked laugh, and David rolled his eyes before buckling a harness around her chest.

The second they were outside Ladybug was tugging  _ hard _ , and David gripped onto the leash tightly as he locked the door behind them. It was dark out, the sky the same dark blue as David’s beanie, and Matteo could see his breath when he exhaled. They were walking slow, David following Ladybug’s pace as she slowed to sniff something every few minutes. They were quiet, too, and Matteo quickly took his phone out of his pocket when it buzzed.

He sighed when he saw that it was a text from his dad that said,  _ Matteo, just let me know you’re safe please. We need to talk before you go back. _ He quickly responded  _ i’m safe _ and huffed, shoving his phone into his pocket. While typing out the message he realized just how  _ cold _ his hands were, and his face, and his ears, and his everything, and he zipped his jacket up more and pulled his sleeves over his hands.

“Everything okay?” David asked, turning his head so he could look at Matteo with furrowed brows.

“Yeah, just my dad texting me. It’s fine though, I’m just not gonna think about it for now.” Matteo said the last part quickly, hoping that David would let the subject drop. 

“Hmm,” David hummed, and was quiet for a moment before suddenly asking, “are you cold?”

Matteo snorted, and shoved his hands that were already in his sleeves deep into his pockets, and shrugged, before saying, “Only a little. It’s okay.”

David hummed again before Ladybug stopped and started sniffing intensely at a spot of grass, and Matteo tilted his head when David dropped her leash and stepped on it immediately, before taking his beanie off. Matteo wanted to protest but before he could, he felt the hat being tugged onto his head, and David swept the hair out of his eyes and down to pick the leash up again.

“You didn’t need to do that.” Matteo said quietly as they started walking again, and he smiled a little when David shrugged.

  
“Your ears were turning pink, I didn’t want them to freeze and fall off. They’re cute.”

It was the casual way David said it that made Matteo’s insides all twist together, and he felt himself blush and was  _ sure _ that his ears were still pink despite the hat that was quickly warming them up. He just smiled down at the ground and shrugged, caught off guard by the first flirtatious comment David had made since he picked him up.

Matteo was starting to realize that his concept of their relationship was getting fuzzier by the minute. It was more than just friendly, obviously, and not just because they fucked. He already knew that texting David had quickly become his favorite thing to do during the break, and considering they would talk for hours on end it seemed like David enjoyed it, too. There was something  _ more _ there that was making Matteo question if they were really  _ just _ hooking up. His thoughts started spiraling, and before he could stop himself, his stupid mouth was saying, “So.”

David let it hang in the air for a second before he turned with an amused smile on his face and prompted, “So?”

“So,” Matteo said again, realizing that there was no way David wouldn’t prod at him to finish his thought if he tried to blow it off, so he hesitantly asked, “We aren't… dating, right?”

He wanted to smack himself for asking the question like that, but he couldn’t put the words back in his mouth. He hadn’t meant to ask in such a definitive way, but he bit his lip and waited for David to respond instead of trying to change or retract his question. Matteo looked away so he missed the way David’s shoulders dropped and the smile fell from his face at the question for a split second before he cleared his throat. 

“Um… no? Not as far as I’m aware, at least.” David said after a minute.

“Okay, yeah. I was just… I don’t know. We’re definitely not dating. But...what are we?” 

David paused for a moment and then asked, his voice quiet, “What do you want us to be?” 

“Well, I mean,” Matteo panicked at the question, worried that if he said what he actually wanted to say David would look at him with pitying eyes and turn him down, so instead he stuttered out, “I’m fine with the way things are now, are you?”

David smiled small and said, “Yeah, as long as that’s what you want,” and turned to look at the ground. It was quiet for a minute, Matteo no less confused than he was before he brought everything up, and they walked to the end of the block and turned the corner.

  
“So,” David said suddenly, and Matteo turned to look at him but he kept his eyes forward as he continued, “you’re still okay… doing everything we had been doing?”

“I never said I wasn’t,” Matteo said, and when he saw a smirk grow on David’s face he shrugged and said, “You haven’t said anything, so I haven’t said anything,”

“I don’t want to be blunt, Matteo, but I wasn’t really going to bring up sex when you were crying in my arms last night.”

Matteo snorted and shoved his shoulder into David’s before saying, “Okay, that’s a fair point.”

They walked in silence for a few minutes, both smiling and looking at each other out of the corners of their eyes and blushing as they got caught, before Ladybug stopped, her head held high, and then jolted forward, barking at something far ahead on the path.

“Oh, shit!” David grunted as he was yanked forward, and he quickly tugged on the leash and whistled to get the dog’s attention, Matteo trying to hide his quiet laughter in his hand. David glared at him once Ladybug stopped pulling, and started walking forward, calm but still alert.

“She’s strong.” Matteo commented with another laugh, and he reached down to pat Ladybug on the back. She turned to look at him, her tail wagging, and she shoved her side into his legs, almost making him fall over. David grabbed his arm when he stumbled, and helped steady him.

“Yeah, but I’m stronger.” David said, raising an arm so he could flex it with an obnoxious smirk on his face, and Matteo rolled his eyes and shoved him away, trying not to blush too hard at David’s loud laugh. 

They got back to the house and started taking off their shoes and jackets, and Matteo yawned, only just realizing how tired he was. He smiled as he watched Ladybug walk over to her bed before collapsing in it, panting, apparently just as tired from the walk as Matteo was.

He turned back to David when he heard him shuffling around, and saw him already staring at him, biting his lip, his hand scratching through the hair at the back of his head. Matteo tilted his head at him, and David smiled. 

“Do you want to watch a movie or something?” he asked, nodding in the direction of his room, “I can set something up on my laptop and we can chill in my bed.”

“Yeah, sure,” Matteo said, the idea of getting back into David’s bed sounding  _ very _ appealing, “let me just run to the bathroom first.”

David nodded and walked to his room, leaving the door open behind him, and Matteo closed the bathroom door before locking it, and leaned against it and took a deep breath in. 

He didn’t know if by “watch a movie” David meant they’d  _ actually _ be watching a movie, or if he had other ideas. Matteo watched his face turn a little pink in the mirror and he shook his head, ruffling his hair a bit, trying to ignore the way his body was reacting to the ideas suddenly drifting into his mind. 

He splashed some cold water on his face and shook the nerves out of his hands before leaving the bathroom and walking to David’s room, and he knocked although the door was open before pushing inside.

David was sat cross-legged in front of his computer in the middle of the bed, already changed into pajamas, and he finished typing something before looking up at Matteo with a grin.

“Anything in particular you want to watch?” He asked, and Matteo thought for a second before shrugging. 

“No, you can pick.” He watched David’s face light up and smiled when he immediately began typing something in, and Matteo turned and changed into his sweatpants from the night before and a sweater that hung down to the middle of his thighs. 

David clicked a few times before grabbing his computer and leaning back against the wall at the head of his bed, and he turned to raise an eyebrow when he noticed that Matteo hadn’t moved. He patted the spot next to him with a smile and Matteo blushed again, feeling like a loser as he climbed onto the bed and sat as close as he could to David without actually touching him.

David rolled his eyes, and Matteo squeaked when he felt an arm grab him around the waist and tug him close into David’s side. He heard a laugh followed by, “What, are you getting shy now?”

“I’m not  _ shy _ .” Matteo said back, proving his point by curling into David’s side and dropping his head onto his shoulder, letting himself get comfortable. He looked up through the corners of his eyes at David’s smug grin, and realized that that was the exact outcome he was hoping for with his teasing comment. It was Matteo’s turn to roll his eyes, and he jabbed David in the side with his elbow and laughed when David jumped.

“Okay, okay,” David relented, and pressed play on whatever movie he had pulled up. Matteo knew David’s major had something to do with making films, which meant he was probably a film snob, so he wasn’t surprised when it was a movie he had never heard of before. He was lost about five minutes in, and slumped against David, letting his eyes close when they started feeling heavy.

He spent the first hour of the movie listening to the sounds, his eyes popping open anytime anything particularly loud or important-sounding happened, but his favorite part was when David noticed his lack of attention, and started whispering random facts about the movie to him.

“You know,” he would start, knowing fully well that Matteo  _ didn’t _ , “it took the director a month to get that shot the way he wanted it, but he said it was worth it.”

Matteo didn’t even have his eyes open to see what scene David was talking about, but he just nodded, his eyes drooping even more. He ended up falling asleep like that, curled up on David’s shoulder, David growing quiet next to him once he realized that Matteo was out.

*****

Matteo woke up the next morning, pleased to see that David was still in bed next to him. They were a foot or so apart on the bed but their feet were tangled together, and Matteo decided to test his luck by slowly shifting forward on the bed until he could drape an arm across David’s chest, his head resting on David’s shoulder as his eyes closed again.

The next time he woke up David was stroking a hand up and down his back, and Matteo could see the light from his phone in the dark of the room. He stretched a little as he blinked his eyes open, nuzzling his face into David’s shoulder, and heard a quiet laugh and a, “Good morning.”

He groaned before rubbing his eyes, and heard David laugh again. He stretched his arm out before letting it fall back onto David’s stomach, and yawned out, “What time is it? Why is it still dark?”

“It’s a little after ten,” David said, running his hand through Matteo’s hair, “and it’s storming out. I thought the power was gonna go out a little while ago.”   
  


Matteo hummed, and as he woke up more he could hear wind and pounding rain outside. He looked towards the window just as there was a flash of lightning, and he smiled a little before dropping his head again.

“I used to hate storms when I was a kid,” he started, his head still too fuzzy from sleep to really think about what he was saying, “but me and my mom would bake cookies and make a ton of snacks, and then have a movie marathon until we both fell asleep on the couch.”

David hummed, and said, “That’s sweet,” with his hand still stroking through Matteo’s hair, and then said quietly, “you haven’t really mentioned your mom a lot.”

Matteo shrugged. “I haven’t lived with her for a while. Things are… hard for her.”

David hummed again, picking up on the fact that Matteo didn’t want to continue that topic. They were quiet for a bit as the storm continued to rage outside, and Matteo only looked up again when he heard David’s stomach growl. He laughed at the slightly embarrassed look on his face and asked, “Hungry?”

“Starving, but I was waiting for you to wake up so we could eat.” David said, poking Matteo’s cheek. Matteo smiled and batted his hand away.

“I can make us breakfast.” He said, stretching again, and he laughed at the excited grin that grew on David’s face.

“Fuck, I  _ love _ that you can cook.” David said, and he kissed Matteo on the top of his head before sliding out from under him and walking to the door, ignoring Matteo’s displeased groan, and he turned with his hand on the knob and said, “Come on, you can’t say that you’ll cook for me and then not get up!”

Matteo rolled his eyes but stumbled out of the bed, following David to the kitchen. He pulled the fridge door open, smiling when he saw that someone must have gone shopping, and turned to David who was leaning against the counter and asked, “What do you want me to make?”

“You pick, I don’t know anything about food besides the fact that it tastes good,” David said, jumping up so he could sit on the counter, “I trust your vision, as the chef.”

Matteo rolled his eyes again but started looking through the fridge. He hummed as he grabbed a box of mushrooms, a bag of spinach, and an onion, and placed them on the counter before turning around and also taking out the carton of eggs and a stick of butter.

He looked around until he found two pans, David being of no help when he asked where Laura kept their cooking equipment, and set them up on the stove. He took two cutting boards out of the cabinet and two knives as well, and put them on the counter. He walked over to where David was still sitting on the counter, leaning against the wall and scrolling on his phone, and smacked his leg.

“Come on, you’re helping me.” He said once David looked up at him, and he turned and ignored the groan that came from behind him.

“No, I suck at cooking, don’t make me help, I’ll just fuck it all up.” David whined, trying to convince Matteo to drop it. Matteo just raised an eyebrow and turned back around, and grabbed David’s hand to try and yank him off the counter. He slid off with a sigh.

“You can’t fuck up chopping an onion, and if you’re hungry it’ll just make everything go faster. Don’t be a baby.” Matteo said, laughing at just how put out David was about the whole thing. He started washing the mushrooms and then chopped them into small pieces, sliding them to the edge of his cutting board. He grabbed a handful of the washed spinach and started ripping the leaves so they’d cook faster, and when he was done with that he walked over to the cutting board that David had been standing in front of, surprisingly silent despite his extreme displeasure at being asked to cook.

“Oh,” Matteo said when he looked over David’s shoulder, and saw the absolute  _ masacre _ that he had somehow caused, “I guess you can fuck up chopping an onion.”

David sighed and put the knife down, and spun around until he was facing Matteo. “I  _ told _ you I’d fuck it up,” he whined again, and leaned forward so he could wrap his arms around Matteo’s waist, and collapsed pathetically on his shoulder, and said, “don’t make me help anymore, please.”

Matteo snorted and patted his back, and said, “Fine, just go sit and don’t touch anything else.”

David picked his head back up with a smile and kissed Matteo on the nose, smiling wider at the blush that spread over his cheeks, and jumped back up onto the counter. Matteo rubbed a hand over his face and tried to salvage the half of the onion that David hadn’t cut into weirdly shaped pieces that were somehow all too big  _ and _ too small.

He threw them into the pan with some butter, and added the mushrooms and spinach once the onions had cooked down. He smiled when he took a deep breath in through his nose. One of the reasons he chose to cook what he was cooking was because of the smell that was coming from the pan, and he heard David sniff the air from his spot and let out a moan.

“How long until it’s done?” David asked, and Matteo ignored him, cracking some eggs into a bowl and adding salt before beating them with a fork. Once the yolks and the whites were all incorporated (and David had repeated his question and huffed at Matteo’s lack of response), he put some butter in the other pan. He quickly threw a couple of pieces of bread that he had found in the toaster, and set it so they wouldn’t get too dark.

He poured half of the eggs in and watched as it cooked quickly, running a rubber spatula around the edges so they wouldn’t stick. Once he saw that it was cooked enough he scooped some of the mushroom and spinach mixture in a line down the middle of the eggs, and flipped the edges over and rolled until there was a perfectly set omelet in the pan. He set it on a plate, ignoring the impressed sound David made behind him. He quickly made the second one, cursing when one of the edges ripped a little as he was folding it, but he managed to scoop it all back together and put it nicely on the plate.

He grabbed the pieces of toast and put them on the plates before turning to David, who was staring at him with a soft smile on his face, even though he had spent the entire past hour complaining and whining.

“You stick your tongue out when you’re focused,” David said, his cheeks a little pink as he slid off the counter, and Matteo tilted his head when David shrugged and continued, “it’s cute.”

Matteo felt his cheek go the same color as David’s but he didn’t acknowledge the comment, and instead put the two dishes down before grabbing forks. He turned back to David, who was still staring at him, and gestured to the table and said, “Come on, you’ve been complaining for an hour, let’s eat.”

He ignored the grin David shot at him, and they both sat and started eating. David complimented the food (or Matteo) after every other bite until Matteo commented that it was going to take them longer to eat than it did to cook if he kept talking, something he had heard his mother say countless times that had apparently gotten stuck in his brain. David had glared at him jokingly before shoving a huge bite in his mouth, smiling obnoxiously around it.

Once they were done, David leaned back in his chair, and crossed his arms over his chest. He looked like he wanted to say something, so Matteo stood up and grabbed the empty plates to put in the sink, and after putting them down he turned around his arms crossed as well, and asked, “What now?”

“I was thinking,” and his voice came out softer than Matteo was expecting, “if you wanted to, maybe we could watch some movies? You know, have a marathon like you were talking about this morning?”

Matteo blushed and looked at the ground. He hadn’t expected David to bring it up again, but the idea of curling up with him on the couch and watching movies as the rain pounded on the ceiling and walls around them was tempting.

“Can you think of movies we can watch that won’t make me fall asleep?” He asked back, and looked up again when he heard David laugh.

“I’ve got an idea.” David said, and then walked off to the living room. Matteo ran water over the plates in the sink before following, and he saw David crouched in front of a cabinet that had what looked like hundreds of DVDs. He watched David pick a bunch out, and walk over to the TV to set the movie up. Matteo settled on the couch, and was shocked when the main menu to the first  _ Harry Potter _ movie flashed on the screen.

“You like  _ Harry Potter _ ?” Matteo asked, and David shrugged.

“Yeah, I really liked the movies as a kid. J.K. Rowling may be a transphobic piece of shit but I can’t help it, and these movies are perfect for marathons.”

Matteo snorted and rolled his eyes but smiled when David got onto the couch next to him after skipping through the trailers and starting the movie, and as the music started he settled into David’s side, an arm wrapping around him and pulling him close.

They got through the first two movies like that, almost silently, occasionally joking around but mostly just watching. Matteo had forgotten about how much he had liked the movies when he was younger, and he could see the same nostalgic smile on David’s face as they watched.

After the first two, Matteo got up to grab his oil pen. He took a hit before offering it to David, who started at it for a moment before shaking his head and grabbing it, and saying, “Kid-me would be so offended that I’m doing this.”

Matteo laughed and they passed it back and forth, only playing the third movie once they were both feeling a little floaty. After the third one David declared that they needed to find something else to eat or he was going to die, so they took a brief break to look for snacks in the kitchen.

They spent the rest of the night smoking and goofing around and eating snacks to the point where they were both too full to eat dinner. Laura and Linn came back just as the last movie was starting, and decided to join the two, and Matteo didn’t comment on the fact that when the door started shaking David shifted away on the couch so they weren’t cuddling as obviously as they had been. David also shoved the pen into Matteo’s hand with a look that said  _ please hide this before my sister kills me _ so he got up to shove it back in David’s room.

Once the movie was over, Laura and Linn retired to their room, and Matteo and David stayed on the couch, watching the end credits roll by. They started clearing up all the wrappers and empty bags around them, and walked back to David’s room after cleaning everything up. 

Matteo was still feeling pretty good from when they had smoked earlier, and looked over at David with a lazy smile. He was hoping that since they had at least kind of talked about their situation, maybe something more would happen that night. David smiled back before it dropped a little and he looked down at the ground, which made Matteo tilt his head.

“You okay?” He asked, walking over so he was standing about a foot away from David.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired, we should probably go to bed soon. I need to drive back to school tomorrow, remember?” David said, looking off to the side, and Matteo frowned and took a few steps forward.

David turned to look at him with a smile that didn’t reach his suddenly sad-looking eyes, and Matteo frowned deeper before wrapping his arms around his neck. David tensed up, and Matteo let go before taking a step back and asking, “Okay, what’s going on?”

David bit his lip before looking at the ground again and taking a deep breath, and he looked back up with a serious expression on his face before saying, “I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

Matteo felt something cold run through his veins at the words. A shiver ran through him, and his eyes shifted around as he scratched at his neck and asked shakily, “Wh-what? What do you mean?”   
  
“This, all of this,” David said, gesturing between their bodies, “us. Whatever ‘ _ us _ ’ even is.”

Matteo blinked and took a breath, and then another one, trying to stop himself from the urge to cry at David’s words. He had a sinking feeling in his gut as David stared at him with a mixture of pity and guilt, wondering what he could have done to fuck everything up so quickly.

“Oh,” he ended up saying, trying to hide the shake in his voice as he looked away, “did I- did I do something? I thought we were both good with everything.”

“No, you didn’t do anything,” David said, turning around and walking over to his desk, and he picked something up and fidgeted with it in his hands before turning back and saying, “I just… can’t. I’m sorry.”

“That’s bullshit,” Matteo said before thinking about it, filled with a sudden anger, and he watched David’s eyes widen, “at least tell me why, then, if it wasn’t something I did.”

“Fuck, Matteo,” David said, and then stopped, biting his lip again.

“No, what? I think I deserve to know. You can’t just spend three days playing house with someone you’ve hooked up with multiple times and then drop them without an explanation. Unless you’re a fucking asshole.”

David smiled with no humor and said, “I guess I’m a fucking asshole, then.”

“But you’re  _ not _ !” Matteo said, louder than he had intended, and then lowered his voice when he remembered that there were other people in the house and said, “You’re not an asshole, you’re just being an asshole right now. Just tell me, I can fucking take it, whatever the reason is. I just want to  _ know _ .”

“Fuck, Matteo,” David groaned out again, and he scrubbed his hands over his eyes before dropping them at his sides and saying with the same, humorless smile, “it’s hard  _ just _ fucking someone and  _ just _ playing house with someone when you’ve had an embarrassingly huge crush on them for a long fucking time.”

Matteo’s jaw snapped shut and he felt his eyes almost pop out of his head at David’s words. He felt all the anger rush out of him in an instant, and he stared at David silentlly, trying to figure out what the fuck to say back, when David scoffed.

“Yeah, I figured,” he said in a pathetic sounding voice, looking off to the side, and then turned to look at Matteo with shame on his face and said, “let me take you home. Or somewhere else. I don’t want to make you stay here.”

“No,” Matteo said quickly despite all the thoughts that were cluttering his head and making it impossible to get any words out.

“What, you want to stay here and make me feel even worse about this?” David asked with a dry laugh.

“ _ No _ ,” he said again, and took a few steps forward until he was close enough to reach out and put a hand on David’s arm. David tried to shake it off but he held on tight, and David huffed. 

“Matteo, just let me take you home. I don’t want this to be any worse than--”

“Shut  _ up _ ,” Matteo said, his voice firm enough to make David stop talking, “you’re such a fucking idiot.”

“Gee, thanks,” David said, not getting Matteo’s point, his face falling even more. Matteo rolled his eyes and kicked at David’s foot, just trying to get him to understand, but instead he looked off to the side again and said, “really, Matteo, I already feel like shit about this and you still being here isn’t helping. Let me just take you--”

Matteo realized that the only way to get David to fucking get it was to grab his shoulders and pull him in for a kiss. David made a noise against his mouth and pulled away, confusion on his face as he said, “Matteo, what--”

“You’re a fucking  _ idiot _ ,” Matteo repeated, a grin growing on his face that only made David  _ more _ confused, “you really don’t know?”

“What the  _ fuck _ are you talking about?” 

“You really don’t know that I’ve been into you since the first time I fucking saw you?” Matteo finally got out, and he watched the hurt look start to fall from David’s face, “you really don’t know that that crush started up again the second we started hooking up?” he watched as David bit his lip to hide the smile that had started growing over his face, “you  _ really _ don’t know that I’ve had an embarrassingly huge crush on you for a long fucking time?”

Matteo repeated David’s own words back to him, and squeezed his arms, and then he went quiet so David could fully absorb everything he said. There was something in his chest that was twisting and jumping around and he didn’t know how to react other than to laugh a little, which seemed to break David out of his silence.

“I am,” David started, and then paused as he slid his hands onto Matteo’s hips and started pulling him closer, “ _ such _ a fucking idiot.”

Matteo laughed again as David finally leaned forward to press their mouths together. It was hard to keep the kiss going because of how wide they were both grinning, so after a minute Matteo pulled away and bumped their foreheads together.

“So, do you still want to take me home?” he asked, and David’s grip on him tightened, “or should I stay and ask if you want to be my boyfriend?”

He wasn’t expecting David to fucking  _ giggle _ at that, nor was he expecting arms to slide around his waist and lift him into the air and spin him around. He cursed and grabbed onto David tight, smiling at the laugh that David let out as he was set back on his feet. David leaned his forehead against Matteo’s again before bumping their noses together, and he pulled him in for a real kiss. 

Their lips moved together softly, neither of them wanting to rush it since they knew they didn’t need to. He slid his hand up and placed it on David’s cheek, stroking his thumb down his cheekbone and keeping him close once their mouths finally separated.

“Fuck,” David said, squeezing his arms around Matteo, “I  _ really _ wasn’t expecting that.”

“Jonas is gonna have a field day with this,” Matteo said, though he didn’t really care, the giddiness he was feeling overriding anything else. Jonas could spend the rest of their lives making fun of him for the whole situation and Matteo would just laugh along.

“Do you think we should break up already? Save you the teasing?” David asked, pulling away so he could grin at Matteo playfully, and Matteo rolled his eyes before smacking David’s arm.

“Fuck no,” he said quickly, smacking David again and grinning at the smile that David was aiming at him, “I just got you, you think I’m giving you up that easy?”

Matteo laughed as David pulled him in tight for another kiss, so tight that his feet almost left the ground again, and he smiled against David’s lips, his  _ boyfriend’s _ lips, and felt David do the same. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just one more to go friends..........i love you all thank you all for not abandoning this fic or my other au even though its taken my so long to get this chapter done <<<3333


	5. and there's no doubt, i figured out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hi friends....so i dont want to say too much but i wrote this months ago before i lost all motivation to do anything, and it was meant to be just the first part of a longer chapter, but im really really glad i have it because i think its a nice way to end a fic that i put so much time and energy and love into.
> 
> i hope you all enjoy, and im sorry that i wasnt able to finish this story in the way it deserved :(( i love y'all thank you guys for the endless support and validation!!!!

Matteo woke up more comfortable than he had in a long, long, time.

It took him a minute to remember why, waking up slow because of how deeply he had slept, but after yawning and stretching his body a bit and feeling the warm skin against his back, his eyes popped open. He whispered a quiet “Holy fuck,” to himself as he suddenly recalled the night before. There was an arm draped over his waist, and he tried to conceal his excitement so he wouldn't wake up the body attached to it.

David was still asleep behind him, and Matteo didn’t know how long he’d be able to control the urge to turn around so he could see him, but he also didn’t know what time it was, and didn’t want to wake David up too early because they had stayed up so late the night before.

They had talked more than anything else. There seemed to be some silent agreement that they weren’t going to do anything more than kiss and cuddle that night, and Matteo was more than happy to spend the hours wrapped up in David’s arms, or sitting across from him as he recounted some story from their complicated past.

David thought it would be hilarious to retrace the steps of their relationship, telling Matteo his side. There were the first couple months they knew each other where Matteo was crushing hard, but David was 1. not allowed to date residents in his building, and 2. was apparently too nervous about how people would react to him being trans that he wasn’t thinking about relationships. How the next year, after getting top surgery and working on some of his own shit he started feeling great about himself, but was too busy to start a relationship so he’d hook up with people who he knew were queer, and that already knew he was trans.

David quietly, fondly, admitted that he had always found Matteo cute, but wasn’t allowed to do anything about it at first, and then he was hated for years.

“You weren’t hated for years,” Matteo asserted, from where he had ended up in David’s lap, “it was like, a year at most. Then it was mostly angsty pining until we fucked.”

“I could tell that you were into me,” David had responded with a smug grin as he pulled Matteo in tighter, “and I could tell that you hated that more than you actually hated me.”

Knowing that David had the whole situation pinned from the beginning was a little embarrassing. He was a little less embarrassed when David, his cheeks pink, quietly said that he had been trying to think of a way to approach Matteo from the first day of their sophomore year when he saw that Matteo had moved into a different building. He didn’t have a good enough opportunity until that first party.

David had said, his face falling a bit, that he really hadn’t planned on getting into a relationship his senior year. He thought that with all of his commitments he’d be too busy to give someone else the attention they deserved, that he barely had time for himself as it was. He seemed to talk himself into a bit of a spiral, apologizing to Matteo in advance for things that Matteo didn’t give a fuck about.

“I already put in all of my meeting times and practices for this semester, and all the nights I’m sitting duty,” he said, taking his phone out, and when Matteo grabbed it out of his hands and threw it somewhere on this bed he sighed and continued, “I just want you to know what you’re getting into.”

“If I have to sit in the office with you to see you everyday I’ll do it,” Matteo said, grabbing David’s hands, “I know you’re busy, I’ll take what I can get.”

“But-” David said, but cut himself off and bit his lip, hiding a smile.

Matteo tilted his head, curious at the sudden shift in David’s expression, and asked, “What? What were you gonna say?”

“No,” Davids said, shaking his head and smiling, “it’s not very nice.”

“Say it!” Matteo whined, shoving David back onto the bed and pinning his wrists down with the full knowledge that David could flip him onto his back in a second.

“It’s just that,” David started, and then chuckled, “I can already tell you’re going to be clingy, and I’m fine with that, but I don’t know if you’re going to be fine with me needing to leave to deal with a resident or go to a meeting or something.”

Matteo let go of one of David’s wrists so he could smack his arm, but David used his newly freed hand to pull Matteo down for a kiss. It was hard for Matteo to defend himself with David’s lips moving gently against his, his fingers stroking through the short hair at the back of Matteo’s head. 

At the end of it all, they both knew that they needed to talk more about everything, but they were just so happy to both be able to finally admit how they felt about each other. 

Matteo didn’t know if he had done something to wake David but he turned his head when he felt shuffling behind him. He couldn’t see David, but he could feel the hand on his stomach twitching, the arm pulling him closer into David’s chest as he yawned into Matteo’s shoulder blade.

“Morning,” David yawned again, but Matteo could feel him smiling sleepily, and he started turning just as David asked, “how long have you been up?”

Matteo hummed, and cuddled as close to David as he could, basically forcing him onto his back, worming an arm around his waist, his head under David’s chin. He let out a breath, felt David kiss the top of his head, and smiled before saying into his shirt, “Not too long.”

David hummed in response, dropping his hand onto Matteo’s back. Matteo knew that if he wanted to, he could have easily fallen back asleep with David’s fingers tracing vague shapes and words on his back, his head pillowed on his chest. He didn’t want to, though, because David was leaving that afternoon and he wouldn’t get to see him until Sunday night at least.

And that wasn’t that bad, except for the fact that Matteo was clingy, and he was so excited to finally have David that he didn’t want to even think about letting him go again. He clung on suddenly tighter, and David squeezed him.

They stayed quiet for a while, until it became irresponsible for David to avoid looking at his phone any longer. He checked the time, Matteo whining quietly as he moved, and dropped his phone with a sigh.

“It’s still pretty early, we have a couple of hours before I need to pack.” David said, his voice soft enough to not break the quiet of the room.

“Oh really?” Matteo said, tilting his head up so he could smirk lazily up at David, and shifted his hips closer, “I know a way we could pass the time.”

David smiled and leaned down, and Matteo lifted his head so they could kiss, his leg draping across David’s as he pushed himself forward. David’s hand slid down his back and then up under his shirt, and he pulled away after a second to whisper against Matteo’s lips, “Are you going to tell me?”

“No,” Matteo said in a quiet voice, moving the hand that had been resting on David’s waist so he could trail his fingers across his lower stomach, and then lower, and he slid the tips under David’s sweatpants and tugged a little and whispered, “can I show you?”

David didn’t say anything but he smiled, and leaned back in for another kiss. Matteo pushed himself up again so he’d have better leverage to control the kiss, sliding the tip of his tongue along David’s bottom lip as his hand pushed under the waistband of his pants. David hummed, and his lips parted-

And then there was a whining sound at the door. Matteo pulled back, tilted his head to the door, but David tugged him back in by the collar of his shirt, and it was hard to resist when a hand grabbed him by the back of his head to bring him in even closer. David’s hand slid down to his shoulder, his nails biting into Matteo’s skin through his shirt when Matteo slid his hand under David’s boxers, more than happy to ignore the sounds outside the door.

Until the quiet whines became a less quiet scratching at the door. David’s head dropped back onto the pillow, and he looked up at Matteo pleadingly and whispered, “Do you think if we’re quiet she’ll go away?”

Matteo laughed, and dropped his face into David’s chest to muffle it. The scratching at the door got louder, and Matteo started laughing harder when the whining turned into a high pitched bark, and an annoyed howl. There was a thud, and then the doorknob started wiggling.

“Does she know how to fucking open doors?” Matteo whispered, horrified that that was something dogs could do.

“No, thank god,” David said, and closed his eyes when there was another bark, “but she’s tall enough on her back legs to hit the doorknob with her paw.”

As if the dog trying to get into the room wasn’t enough, there was a loud knock, followed by Laura yelling, “David! Come out here and make her stop or I’m letting her into your room!”

David sighed, and dropped his hands over his face, called back, “Sorry, one sec!” and then looked up at Matteo with sad eyes.

“Come on,” Matteo said with a laugh, sitting up, and swinging his legs over the side of the bed. He felt Daivd’s hand grabbing at the back of his shirt but he stood up fast enough, and turned to stare down at his boyfriend’s sad face. Boyfriend. Holy shit.

“I can’t believe I’m being cockblocked by my own dog,” David whined from the bed, “I feed her, I play with her, I take her for walks everyday, and this is how she repays me?”

“Stop being so dramatic,” Matteo said, rolling his eyes, but he also couldn’t stop the smile spreading on his face.

“She’s homophobic.” David said bluntly, glaring up at the ceiling. Matteo laughed, and then laughed harder at the loud bark from the other side of the door following David’s words. David shook his head, and sat up, moving to the edge of his bed.

“She just likes you,” Matteo replied, and then smiled a bit, walking closer to David, “I can’t blame her.”

David grinned at him, and when he got close enough brought his hands up and slid them up around Matteo’s ribs. It was an awkward angle but Matteo dropped his forehead down to David’s when his face tilted up, with a small, sweet smile that didn’t match how bright and playful his eyes were.

“Hi,” Matteo said, closing his eyes and letting himself melt into the feeling of David’s hands on him.

“Hi,” David said back quietly, angling his head so he could press a gentle kiss to Matteo’s lips. Everything else melted away until the only thing Matteo could focus on was the feeling of David’s lips on his, David’s hands sliding down his sides and pulling him in closer, David’s legs on either side of his as he stepped more in between them.

He felt good. He felt happy. Emotions suddenly rushed through him, and he felt himself start to tear up, and he pulled away from David’s lips and dropped his head onto his shoulder. He was hunched over in a way that his back wasn’t too pleased about but he didn’t care, needing to let himself breath in, breath out, calm himself down before he started crying, overwhelmed, happy tears. He didn’t want to ruin the moment.

He didn’t have to worry about that though, as just as David turned to kiss behind his ear the door opened enough for Ladybug to run in. She took a running leap onto the bed and landed behind David, and started shoving her face between them to lick them, her entire body wiggling with excitement. 

“Ow, fuck!” David yelped when she wacked him in the face with her tail that was wagging so fast it was a blur. She turned and licked his face again, and then focused her attention on Matteo and jumped off the bed, shoving herself into his legs. He looked at David, who was rubbing his cheek and glaring down at the dog who was sitting at Matteo’s feet, tongue hanging out of her mouth.

He reached down and started petting her, scratching behind her ears and smiling when he heard her tail thumping against the floor. He looked down at David’s pouting face, and snorted before leaning in to kiss him on the cheek that had a barely noticeable red streak running across it. 

“Come on, let’s go,” he said, tugging on David’s hand until he got up, laughing when Buggy sprung up too and ran ahead of them to the door, “I can make us food.”

“Ugh, fine,” David whined, and he let Matteo lead him out of the room. They walked to the door that led out to the backyard, and David opened it, and Ladybug sprinted past them and out onto the grass.

“What do you want to eat?” Matteo asked, making his way to the kitchen. He had no idea where Laura had gone off to, so he figured he didn’t have to worry about cooking for her or Linn.

“I don’t know,” David yawned, and he walked a few steps closer to Matteo before there was a bark behind them. They both turned to look and saw Buggy standing at the door, a toy at her feet that she picked up and squeaked when they noticed her. David sighed, walked up to Matteo and kissed him on the cheek, and said, “I’ll go play with her so she leaves us alone for the rest of the day.”

Matteo nodded and grinned when David walked up to the dog and snatched the toy from in front of her, and she sprung up, her ears flipping to attention. David chucked it out the door, and then followed behind in a sprint when Buggy ran after it. Matteo shook his head at the two and opened the fridge.

He decided to make something simple because he knew David still had to pack, and he wanted to see if he could convince David to shower with him. He figured it wouldn’t be too hard to do so.

As he was mixing the eggs he could hear David laughing and yelling outside, and heard the occasional bark or playful growl. He looked out the window and was pleased that he could see David running around, throwing the toy across the yard and chasing after Ladybug when she refused to drop it after jumping to catch it. He smiled, feeling disgustingly domestic.

He had to turn away from the window to start actually cooking. He realized, as he moved around the Schreibner’s kitchen fluidly, already knowing where everything he needed was, that he felt so much more at home there than he did at his house, and he knew that a lot of that was because of David. He was grateful that he had a new place to escape to, a person to escape to, almost a new life to escape to.

He heard David come in just as the eggs were finishing up, and he smiled when he heard him walk into the room. He wasn’t expecting David to step up behind him, his face shoving into Matteo’s neck as he dropped a hand onto his ass. Matteo kicked his leg back, getting David in the shin, but he just pressed himself closer, and dropped his head to kiss Matteo’s shoulder.

“What? Am I not allowed?” he asked, a smirk in his voice that Matteo couldn’t help but blush a bit at.

“I’m trying to make you food, move,” Matteo said in response, elbowing David back so he could grab plates. He let his gaze flick to David, who stared at him for a moment, biting his lip, before he sat down at the table, his eyes firmly glued to Matteo as he plated the food.

Matteo set the plate down in front of David with a sloppy kiss to his cheek, and he sarcastically said, “Here you go, dear,” before going and getting his own plate.

“Thanks, baby,” David said sincerely, smiling at the blush that flooded Matteo’s face at the word, before digging into the food in front of him.

They finished eating, and Matteo was going to get up and start washing the dishes (knowing that David was going to push him out of the way and do it himself), but he noticed David smiling at him, his head propped up on his hand, and he blushed and went, “What?”

“Nothing, nothing,” David said, reaching out and grabbing Matteo’s hand, “I’m just excited.”

“Excited?” Matteo asked, smiling as David’s fingers took up the empty spaces between his own.

“Yeah, excited,” David repeated, squeezing Matteo’s hand, “for us, for this,” he grinned, squeezed Matteo’s hand again, “I finally get to have you.”

Matteo’s cheeks turned pink, and he looked down at the table, biting his lip. The almost too-good overwhelmed feeling was coming back, and he tried to stifle it but couldn’t stop from giving himself away with a smile. 

He felt it too, of course. He felt like all of his pieces were firmly in place for the first time in his life, like the storm in his brain was calm while still raging, like he had a something, a someone in his life that he could count on and run back to, someone who would run to him.

“Me too,” he said finally, no other words seeming right for how he was feeling. David grinned, and Matteo grinned back, knowing that he found what he had been needing.

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me [here](https://shhhhyoursister.tumblr.com/) if you wanna send me stuff or follow me or whatever, and you can follow my amazing editor yon [here](https://chlouais.tumblr.com/) as always thank you yon for the editing and the comments i love it all
> 
> explanations!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> RA (Resident Assistant)- An RA has many roles and responsibilities, including building a residential community through programming, acting as a mentor for students, being a familiar first resource for students with academic or institutional questions, and enforcing residence policies. RAs assist residents with problem solving or refer them to counseling resources. Above all, a resident assistant must be an example and uphold professional and personal accountability as outlined by the institution. RAs are required to sit duty in the RA office for a few hours at night, alternating every night. They are there in case students get locked out of their rooms, need things like garbage bags or toilet paper, or need to talk about an issue they may be facing. Generally RAs are given a bulletin board to decorate where they put up information about their hall and the school, as well as notifying the residents of who is on duty for each night. 
> 
> SRA (Senior Resident Assistant)- A peer educator who facilitates the personal, interpersonal, and intellectual growth of students. The SRA plays a key role in developing an inclusive living community that fosters diverse learning. The SRA performs all responsibilities of the RA position in their specific assignment. In addition, the SRA assists the RD in the overall administration of their staff team area. The SRA core responsibilities are intended to provide experiences in the areas of student/staff development, leadership, facilitation, and team development. 
> 
> RD (Resident Director)- A college or university employee generally responsible for the management and daily operations of campus residence halls. General responsibilities of an RD include providing counseling to student residents, referring residents to proper campus offices and support service, planning and implementing social activities, serving as a liaison to university officials and law enforcement personnel, enforcing hall behavior codes and meet with students who break policies, general administrative work for the hall, and mediating roommate conflicts and overseeing room change process.
> 
> Residence Hall- A building primarily providing sleeping and residential quarters for large numbers of students at universities and colleges.


End file.
